AuthorTopic: Tsu-Moe [Finished?]  (Read 11500 times)

Offline Indigo

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Tsu-Moe [Finished?]

on: August 26, 2008, 07:05:23 pm
His name is Moe, and he loves his freakishly tight pants.  As you can tell he is unfinished.  the hands have not been touched yet, and much more work needs to be done to the shoes, hoodie, and head.  I'm posting this here to keep me motivated to finish it :)

Progress:
http://danfessler.com/dump/sk8_0.jpg
http://danfessler.com/dump/sk8_1.png
http://danfessler.com/dump/sk8_2.png
http://danfessler.com/dump/sk8_3.png
http://danfessler.com/dump/sk8_4.png

Newer --->


Current:  (finished?)


any critique would be appreciated

-Dan
« Last Edit: September 03, 2008, 06:46:18 pm by Indigo »

Offline AdamAtomic

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #1 on: August 26, 2008, 07:40:03 pm
Sweet start!  His pants seem to be selectively tight however.  I think you've either got to bite the bullet and detail his package a bit more, or (what I think would make a stronger comp anyways) pixel a baggier pant.  The way his head is situated seems out of character against the rest of his pose, its a dejection/shame head posture against a more combative, proud body pose, feels out of place to me.  His hoodie strings look too dark and distracting to me.

That said, this is a really nice start, the colors and sense of volume are great so far!

Offline un7

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #2 on: August 26, 2008, 08:02:16 pm
Nice character!
There was something that was really bugging me...



His crotch looked too flat, maybe I rounded it too much, but you got the idea (whoa, looking now, that would be way TOO virile :o).
I also think the hair is getting too much of attention, it's really dark. I agree that there could be a focus point, by I think you could make his face be it :)

Offline happymonster

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #3 on: August 26, 2008, 08:33:25 pm
When I look at the image, I first see his face, then the straps/cords hanging down either side of his chest, then his skateboard and then the laces on his shoes.

So I think the cords on his jacket and the laces on his shoes do distract the eye from the face, jacket and skateboard.

Offline ter-o

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #4 on: August 26, 2008, 08:55:43 pm
This is obviously nitpicking but I started to look at how my eyes flow on this picture and here's the results:



I assume that this isn't supposed to a piece of art itself but more like a character design, but if speaking with art terms, I had troubles keeping my eyes on the picture. My eyes were focused on the hoodie strings first and then guided by their tangent my eyes fell out of the picture along the leg. I wondered that maybe you could prevent that by placing the fist a bit more over his leg, so it would block the eye falling off the picture and start exploring other areas. I hope this makes any sense :D
I don't know everything, I just know everything else.
Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. -Master Yoda

Offline Helm

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #5 on: August 27, 2008, 12:59:34 am
The pixel technique is very solid, naturally.

I think an obsession with idealized muscle is hurting your character here. I know it's fun to draw the tight muscle, but I would really suggest just drawing him like a human being and trying to emote something with his body language, not just a male model strutting-stuff pose... I know this requires a pretty drastic makeover and also a lot of thought on what exactly the character's personality is and what he's trying to do etc etc and that's a pretty tall order that we don't ask for in this forum often, but then... you're a great pixeller, why not deal with what's important now? It's not dithering or aa for you, obviously.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2008, 01:01:59 am by Helm »

Offline Indigo

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #6 on: August 27, 2008, 03:01:44 am
I just want to address helm's advice before getting around to the others...

let me start out with saying that I do in fact agree with you.  But this critique is about the quantity of this type of work I've done in the past, and not so much about this piece itself - correct?

As said on MSN, while I agree that I should explore different avenues and focus less on the 'ripped-muscle' - applying that to this piece would be a bit counter productive.  If i am to start over from scratch, I'd much rather apply it to a new concept than destroying the character I've developed thus far (which I personally like, regardless of the idealized muscle).

the intent of this particular piece was to play around with proportions and underlaying structure behind the muscle-mass - Something I haven't explored so much (at least to this extent) in the past.  This goal would entirely be lost if I were to chose your route.

I do have other pieces in the works that explore different subject matters.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2008, 08:36:37 am by Indigo »

Offline Souly

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #7 on: August 27, 2008, 07:22:02 am

I showed you this on MSN, made some minor changes.
Changed his ear.
The strings on the hoodie looked like they were attached to his face, so I changed that.
Highlighted his hair, tweaked his ponytail.
Dithering on the griptape and some minor tweaks on the front of the hoodie left side and the very bottom of it.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2008, 07:25:55 am by Souly »

Offline Krut

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #8 on: August 27, 2008, 10:17:11 am
Hey Indigo!
Lovely piece and colour choises.

I find it a bit hard to critique a piece when its still WIPish, because i don't know how much of the "faults" there are being worked on and not, like lack of contrast on some parts, and some better AA on others, but what i can say tho, is;

-His right leg looks completely broken to me...even with the exagerated/stylized proportions.

Keep up the good work  :y:

Offline Ryumaru

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Re: Tsu-Moe

Reply #9 on: August 27, 2008, 07:19:33 pm
Really the only thing that i have that hasn't been mentioned is the fact that the gap between his legs that make his crotch is basically the width of his head, which even with the MOST EXTREME distortion, imo is much too much. Good job otherwise, coming from a muscle lover :P