AuthorTopic: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie  (Read 6369 times)

Offline Ryan Cordel

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[WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

on: December 10, 2007, 04:13:53 pm
Okay, the low down on this sprite is that she's more or less a hybrid of the human and Aqrillic (An underwater type.) species, genes spread out 50/50. This explains why she might miss the nose, ears (And as it seems now, the chin, which was unintentionally), which is characteristic of the Aqrillic ones in that they have no nose, no irises and no ears, relying on tiny slits that have great sensors. (They're not excuses, honestly.)
Now I see this as partially done, but I still guess I could use any help on it. I'm not sure if I have to fully reform the character, but if it has to go that way, I'll see. The character's mostly nude due to the fact that she's, well, a nudist. Her more private parts are concealed and only appear during certain times, which would be a bit to embarrassing to disclose on such a forum. (I was toying around with the text a bit, but, meh. I, however, did work on a gray background before, before moving down to black so I could apply the selout. Sorry Helm. >_>; )

Guns away, fellas. ><

Offline Stefano

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #1 on: December 10, 2007, 10:39:19 pm
Even at first glance, I can see quite a few anatomic issues, but I'm not sure entirely sure I should bring them up since she's a human-"Aqrillic" halfbreed and I would be talking of the human body.
What I can tell you is that I think she's too blue and shinny as if she was made of plastic or wearing a latex outfit (Uh! Me likes that! :D). The area around the eyes don't look so good either IMO... I don't know if those two protuberances are supposed to be fins, but they currently look like a pair of 50's glasses or even Wolverine's uniform.

Again: since I've never heard of such race (except for one other sprite I've found on Google :D), I feel commenting on it would be quite a shot in the dark, unless you share some more of the Aqrillic species anatomic specifics.

Looking forward to do an edit on this one. I mean, if that's ok with you.

Cheers,
-Stefano

Offline Jad

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #2 on: December 10, 2007, 11:03:15 pm
I dunno about her private parts but that her crotch just splits like that, it looks completely weird. It's like she has pants for legs. :\
' _ '

Offline Stefano

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #3 on: December 10, 2007, 11:45:55 pm
Maybe it's part of the Aqrillic anatomy. ::)

Jokes aside, I agree that it looks wrong.
Please, give us more info so we can critique your piece properly, Ryan.

Offline heyy13

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #4 on: December 11, 2007, 01:14:12 am
I think i can mention the lack of knees and a defined elbow reguardless of Aqrillic anatomy, simply because even water creatures require joints. Currently she can't bend her legs, which would not facilitate swimming. The arms also just curve, as if they were made with vertabra and ribs and not a joint. As an appendage however it is extremely unlikely that it would be constructed like that. But hey! If you were going for that look. *shrugs*

Currently almost everything about the anatomy seems off...

Offline Helm

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #5 on: December 11, 2007, 01:18:12 am
she doesn't have a pelvis. Her abdomen flows directly into two bodies like this

  |
 / \

which is wrong, I guess. What you need is this

  \     /
 /   '   \
|    -   |

 \  ||  /
  \ || /
   U U
  | || |
   \||/
    hh
   /-|-\

the legs lack form too.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 01:20:40 am by Helm »

Offline Terley

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #6 on: December 11, 2007, 03:52:35 am
Not defined it too much and im not too clued up with anatomy but I'd still suggest something a bit like this Ryan.



this could potentially be a great learning experience if you researched a bit into the female form, I think it's vital even for an alien to clue up on human anatomy. Or animal anatomy if it were more of a beastish creature.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 04:13:18 am by Terley »
I've not got anything interesting to type here..

Offline Sherman Gill

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #7 on: December 11, 2007, 04:31:14 am
The legs in Terley's edit look kind of... short. :-\

They're supposed to be the same length as the whole rest of the body, yessah?
Oh yes naked women are beautiful
But I like shrimps more haha ;)

Offline Jad

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #8 on: December 11, 2007, 01:41:38 pm
The legs were always short, they are in terley's edit, and likewise in the original work.
' _ '

Offline Ryan Cordel

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #9 on: December 11, 2007, 02:02:26 pm
Thank you very much Terley, I really see now what the hell I did wrong. And anywho, sorry for not replying for a while, but I'll try to see what I can remember about the species themselves.

The species are mostly aquatic in nature, predating humans by a lengthy while. Standardly, they are green in nature, have no irises, nose, ears or any sort of proper 'hair', instead of having some sort of dread lock appendages. The 'ears', nose and such are mostly small slits that are hard to see, but provide some good/great (Depending on 'race' of the Aqrillic and person.) sensory. Somewhere from the neck down, near the chest, they have dark green armor like plating. Near their rear sides, they have large tails that extend down to their knees, the lower half being covered in the same hardened armor plating. Where their crotches would be, the armor plating extends down there a bit too but ends just a bit before the tail. There is another, just slightly larger slit which allows their prehensile member hood to peek out. Their feet are also somewhat webbed as are their hands partially. Some of them have marks on their head at birth.
One of the more unique things with them, is that both genders have the capability of carrying a child and giving birth, although they still look different in birth, their systems are rather like the same. (Excluding that the females don't, ofcourse, have such a 'member') Jalie, as she's was the result of human and Aqrillic female copulation, has some traits from humans and Aqrillic alike, which include the hair, the irises and the slightly more human like anatomy, and a longer, non-armored tail that extends down to her feet. Her feet aren't webbed together unlike the Aqrillic, and her skin isn't as silky smooth, more human like, compared to the Aqrillic. Also, in comparison to most of the females, she's supposed to be more muscle bound.

And yes, those spikes were a bit 'set-in-plan' for the character.

EDIT: Looking back at forth, I've based some of the fixes on Terley's edit, although I looked back and forth, between mine and his and adjusted mine to be closer to his, while adjusting the breasts a little. Sorry if it seems close.

« Last Edit: December 11, 2007, 09:40:10 pm by Ryan Cordel »

Offline Helm

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #10 on: December 11, 2007, 10:50:03 pm
still no hips to speak off, just more symbols of where legs meet. The volumetrics need work from the ground up. Do me a favour and draw (no pixelling required) a profile of the human female body. Just a sketch. Bigger.

Offline The B.O.B.

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Re: [WIP] [Nudity] Jalie

Reply #11 on: December 14, 2007, 02:38:01 am
Whelp, haven't been posting worthy critiques for a while, so I may as well start now, as it's the season of giving.

   First off, I'm going to try and not repeat what's been said. But to be honest, with all the details you've given for this race, it doesn't show in your piece. It just looks like some linear basic sketch, with no thought of design. And when I say design, I don't mean swirlies and pretty dresses, I mean character design and concept. You're trying to achieve an aquatic type being, whom still retains human characteristics, yet the current piece doesn't signify this. It just looks like another one of the billions of blue furries you see at Deviant art. It's basically too simple for my tastes. Though, I tried to conform to the design, without changing too much, or straying from the originals, despite my wanting to:



   The hair was just flat. I think either no hair(to fit swimming around) or more wild type hair would be better, much like mermaids dancing in the water, calling to the horny viking fools who hither to the sea(also a great way to attract their male counterparts, even though they can self reproduce...ahem, I'd still prefer the sex to self reproduction, however). Of course, the anatomy needed a lot of work, as it was just stiff like a board. Of course, my version isn't fairly true to actual human anatomy, but more so, towards a comic book type feel(seductive mermaid, is the best way to describe it).
   However, if we humans were to live in the see, there would probably be several changes to our natural land walking anatomy. You say your beings don't have web feet or hands, and they predate our human species...come one now, millions of years, and evolution still hasn't given them any type of webbed appendages to better maneuver the great blue deep? Without them, they would be bumbling and stumbling down in the depths as a normal human would...and be easy meals for bigger predators. Their existence would be extinct before you could turn the next page in a history book.
   Where both our designs suffer, is that they are wanting to be more humanly built, yet survival wouldn't allow our bodies to stay this way. Even if you look at Olympic swimmers, you notice their bodies are more adaptive towards their sport. Take Michael Phelps, for example: an American Olympic swimmer and Gold medalist, whose body is built slightly different than ours. He is tall, and thin as paper, yet if you were to stand behind him, you'd notice how broad and wide his shoulders are: this is an excellent swimmer's body, which allows for better aerodynamic(or hydrodynamic?) movement. I would think that your fictional creatures would be slightly built like this, and also have longer bodies than ours as well...

   To be honest, all my edits and critiques are just preference. These are things I'd prefer, not necessarily have you change, as I'm more for the conceptual design, rather than fashionable(if that makes sense). And hopefully, this isn't coming off as some jerk whose hating your art, as that's not the case. I'm just not a fan of the furry look. Honestly though, give it a thought, and submit a sketch, as Helm mentioned, so we can see just what type of design it's really supposed to be.
my back hurts...