AuthorTopic: Modern Love [*Updated Again*]  (Read 5242 times)

Offline Soup

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Re: Modern Love [*Update*]

Reply #10 on: April 13, 2007, 01:32:10 am
Cupid is suberbly done.

I think that the
-pool of blood should be darker
-there should be a wound on the back
-the women thigs are odd, i don't know what to say on how to fix them
rest is amazing.

Offline vellan

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Re: Modern Love [*Update*]

Reply #11 on: April 13, 2007, 12:20:08 pm
the woman has a very manly body type - broad shoulders, wide rib cage, no hips. I am def. not saying make her barbie, but presently i think she comes off very stocky and beefy.

love the piece. has so much character.

Offline Sharm

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Re: Modern Love [*Update*]

Reply #12 on: April 13, 2007, 04:52:48 pm
Here's the edit for the pants, and I moved the waist in a little to see if I could get rid of the manly proportions Vellan mentioned.



The folds go behind and under the knee.  I also took some of the taper off of the bottom, but that's a stylistic choice.  The dent in the hip area was extreme and did the most to contribute to the overly stretched look.  And I toned down some of the highlights on the knees.  Not the best edit, but hopefully it clarifies what I mean.

Offline Wayuki

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Re: Modern Love [*Update*]

Reply #13 on: April 13, 2007, 08:57:39 pm
This is really a funny scene! I love it. The faces are adorable.  ;D

That said, I do agree with the others that the female's figure is really stocky and generally unatractive. The ribcage is really far too wide. The neck could stand to be one pixel taller and also a bit thinner. The breasts seem saggy mostly because the highlight is misplaced, it should be lower. The legs and hips are not necessarily too fat, but they are too bulgy. They need to be sleeker and taper more gradually towards the joints.

Also, clothes do not cling to the body like that, especially not a sweater and jeans. Make the clothes come away from the body a bit, or else they look like bodypaint. Get rid of all the muscle definition too, these type of clothes would not show that. In fact, she shouldn't even have that kind of definition if she was naked, it would make her look like a she-hulk. The muscle definition in her neck is definitely too much as well. Futhermore, the folds on the side of her body look kind of like muscle definition, I'd get rid of those altogether.

Another thing to note is that clothes will always stretch across the chest forming a "monoboob", unless the clothing item has modelled cups (like a bra or bustier).

The clothes could use some more realistic details as well, like folds, pockets and ribbed hems. Keep in mind where folds really happen, for instance you don't get folds above the knee at the front, but you do get folds at the back of the knee. I think you should give her shoes some soles as well, because they kind of look like socks.

And lastly... drainpipes are extremely unflattering unless you're sixteen years old and weigh a 100 pounds.  :D

Here's an edit to clarify my points:



@ Feron: Cupid is mostly portrayed with blonde curly hair, actually. I've never even seen a bald one.  :-X

Offline Feron

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Re: Modern Love [*Update*]

Reply #14 on: April 13, 2007, 10:46:43 pm
@ Feron: Cupid is mostly portrayed with blonde curly hair, actually. I've never even seen a bald one.  :-X

yes, how right you are - i dunno why i thought that, probably my subconscious image of a baby.

Offline Tremulant

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Re: Modern Love [*Updated Again*]

Reply #15 on: April 14, 2007, 04:48:58 pm
New update. Mostly worked on various parts of the girl, but also tweaked cupid a bit (note the curlified hair), added the back-blood and probably did some other minor stuff.

Dopple: I hopefully fixed the breasts, and jeans. As for the head, it's the back of the head that seems flat, yes? If that's the case then... I know. I'm working on it. Not that it should be too hard, just that I haven't gotten too it yet. Next update, hopefully.

Gil: Good points, all around. Hope I touched on all of them, but I think I at least picked up on the most important stuff. I'm not real clear on what you mean about the leg seeming broken. Hopefully I fixed it, but if I didn't... elaborate for the benefit of the dumb? :P

Feron: I messed with cupie's hair. I may play with the wings a bit, too, but haven't gotten around to that part of the picture yet. The smoke will probably change, too. At the moment, it's supposed to be flowing into a heart shape, but it does look a bit awkward. I'll play with it.

Soup: Think I touched on all of that, 'cept the blood-puddle which, as I mentioned, will stay as is until the background is done, at which point it will be altered to fit.

Vellan: Slimmed the girl down quite a bit (slighter build, thinner through the shoulders and ribcage). Also, I changed a lot based on Sharm's and Wayuki's edits.

Sharm: Thanks for the edit. It helped me to see what you were talking about. If they aren't completely fixed, I think the pants look better now, anyway.

Wayuki: Wow, that's a great edit. That said, I... pretty much copied your work on the pants (and to a slightly lesser extent, the hoodie) for the update. I still have some work to do, obviously, but thanks in large part to your edit (and the accompanying crits), I think the girl's improved quite a bit.

Thanks very much for the crits and edits, guys. As always, it's greatly appreciated and incredibly helpful. right now, I think the biggest problem I'm having is deciding on a background... I'm... not so good at coming up with interesting backgrounds. I was thinking like, a generic-ish city park, but I dunno. Might end up being a bit dull? Whatever. Suggestions, as always, are very much welcome. Oh, and the rest is far from done, too, so many more crits, please!

Online Ryumaru

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Re: Modern Love [*Updated Again*]

Reply #16 on: April 14, 2007, 06:37:07 pm
why no shine on the blood?
i really like it, you always pump out heavenly shit like this.