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I do like this, your definately heading in the right direction but what I think you definately need to work on is your AAing.. once you get your head around it I believe the quality of your work will dramatically improve..
I've quickly AAed up here and there using the existing colours, added some extra details like for instance the nose, the original one just didn't make sense, theres no depth to it and from another angle wouldn't even look like a nose. I reduced the lighting on the cheeks because it tends to look as if your characters cheeks are full, its because lighter shades raise areas off the screen and darker shades pushes it back.
hope this edit helps, tho I know theres a slight colour count issue have a look at how i've AAed areas, it may not be 100% perfect but you should get something out of it hopefully.
~Ter