AuthorTopic: Layout WIP (Updated)  (Read 7352 times)

Offline Wayuki

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Layout WIP (Updated)

on: January 30, 2007, 04:14:22 pm
Well, this thing has been gathering dust on my harddrive for a good while. I was planning to add jewellery and some more draped cloth, but I basically got stuck. So... any advise is much appreciated.  :crazy:



Latest version:

« Last Edit: January 31, 2007, 08:52:21 pm by Wayuki »

Offline GOODNIGHTdestroyer

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #1 on: January 30, 2007, 04:21:07 pm
This is very nice, very nice indeed.

Yeah some more accessories would really help this piece shine. First of all, connect the pasteys it's really odd how they just stick there on her nips.

Give her some bracers, maybe some ankle rings. A necklace to finish it off. But other than that, so superb. I love the hair and face.

Where did you come from? ;D
And I am finally seeing that you were the one worth eating.

Offline AdamAtomic

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #2 on: January 30, 2007, 04:37:19 pm
Nice!  My first impression is that the torso, from her hips up to just below her breasts is shaded a little more flat than other areas of her body - makes this area a little hard to read in comparison.  I think her calves may be a bit short as well.  Her right (our left) forearm looks a smidge long.  My favorite parts are her hair, nose, lips, and upper hand.  Also, the way you've render her raised shoulder and bicep in connection with her torso is fantastic, great job!

Offline Tremulant

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #3 on: January 30, 2007, 05:27:13 pm
I agree with Adam on the torso; it looks quite flat, especially in relation to the area from the boobs up. The dithering on the skin seems a bit harsh in places, too. Or... maybe that's not really true, it's just that in comparison with the cloth (which uses, or the most part, quite a low contrast ramp and so appears very nicely blended), the skin seems quite rough in places. The fact that the hair and... bra-thing? are not dithered adds to this,  think.
Last thing I'd point out is that this could benefit from some (very minor) AA in places, to eliminate the jaggies where skin and hair meet. I made a small example:

This example was like a 30 second job, so it's way-the-hell away from good, but you get the idea. You already have the necessary shades, so why not?  :P

For all that, I really, really like this. The hair and face, particularly, are phenomenal, and I think a bit of tweaking will raise this from incredible to brain damagingly fantastic.

Offline Rox

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #4 on: January 30, 2007, 06:10:29 pm
That's nice. Really nice. A couple of shading inconsistencies, but I don't really have time for nitpicking right now. The front foot looks REALLY odd to me, however. I can't imagine her foot being at that angle without the ankle being broken or somethnig. But it honestly looks kinda broken, also, so I don't know...

I just think you need to do something about that foot. It doesn't look very comfortable at that angle.

Offline big brother

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #5 on: January 30, 2007, 07:17:50 pm
Striking!
The anatomy of the feet look a little oversimplified when compared to that of the hands. The waist looks a little odd at the narrowest part, too thin for the rest of the body (looks about as wide as two of her forearms).

Very polished work! Keep it up.

Offline Faceless

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #6 on: January 30, 2007, 07:31:08 pm
Lazy edit:

Apart from the changes in my edit, I think the way her right breast connects to her arm looks really unnatural.
That same breast looks too small compared to the other and connects strangely with her shoulder.

Offline Kame

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #7 on: January 30, 2007, 08:06:08 pm
Since you asked about jewelry..

Some ankle bracelets would make a lovely addition. A necklace, too, perhaps, definitely some bracelets, preferably with dangly gold chains on 'em.. that'd make it look more complete.

Offline Helm

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #8 on: January 30, 2007, 11:00:36 pm


Wayuki, I never thought I'd live to say this, but you have anatomical issues. Now, I'm no expect in girl anatomy but I tried to highlight most problems in my cheap-ass photoshop paintover.

First of all, head to small. Now onwards.

a: wrist bend should have some wrinkles due to the strained position, yes?
b: ribcage should show at arching
c: body fat (what little there is on her on my edit, which is double what was on her originally) should fold there
d: bicep muscle is supporting the lower arm, therefore on medium strain, not 'tubelike' as in original
e: wrist slimmer
f:hip bone should show there. Furthermore, belly should have some volume. She is after all, a bellydancer of sorts, yes?
g: muscle should show
h: betterment of the positioning of the foot on the plane

The upper legs were about 1/3rd of a head too long, even given the exhaggerated style.

I am aquainted with a person who is a bellydancer, so her further critique gives us the following points, straight from the horse's mouth, as it were:

in bellydancing, hand position generally is all fingers extended, wrist at a low angle, middle finger lowered inside as far as it can comfortably go, while the rest of the fingers are more or less parallel. This creates the pleasant curvature of the hand at the common bellydancing hand position. I tried to put this in the edit but failed more or less, furthermore the lower hand would require a lot of restructuring wrist-down to give it a 'canonical' position, so I didn't bother. My friend told me it looks pleasant enough at this state, though it's at best, and intermediate stage between 'canonical' positions.

legs are never completely straight as is he back leg on this, unless it is towards an effort to tilt the hip. Legs are bent at all times therefore, unless a tilting of the appropriate hip is to be achieved. The current tilt is very mild for a full strain of the leg, therefore the dancer isn't properly executing the position, again. However for non-hardcore dancers, all this is pretty much nit-picking. But if you really would like to achieve canonical results, a restructuring of the leg towards a bending would also have to occur.

That is all. Let us thank my bellydancer friend.

Offline Wayuki

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Re: Layout WIP

Reply #9 on: January 31, 2007, 01:08:57 am
Thank you so much for the extremely helpful critiques! I knew there was something off with the anatomy, but I hadn't been able to pinpoint it.

Wayuki, I never thought I'd live to say this, but you have anatomical issues.

Well, I don't consider myself an expert on anatomy by any means. I'm one of those silly people who learned to draw by looking at comics.   :crazy:
It's only fairly recently that I've tried to bring more realism into my work, and with a huge piece such as this, it really becomes apparent that I still have a long way to go. But that's also the very reason I'm taking on pieces like this... because I need to learn.

Anyway, looks like I have some major restructuring to do. I'll see what I can do about it tomorrow.  :)


Where did you come from? ;D

From the dolling community. Bwahahaha.  :hehe:


EDIT:

I adjusted the figure. Better?



I decided to keep the hand poses and the straight back leg, because I think changing them would be more of a hassle than it's worth. I wasn't really thinking "belly dancer" when I made it, anyway... more like "fantasy style enchantress".

« Last Edit: January 31, 2007, 08:48:49 pm by Wayuki »