Splashscreen for portfolio(Streetgirl)

[Omenith]

Hey guys,

Long time no post, I know :p.

Just making a splashscreen for my portfolio; random idea. Any critique on the anatomy(THE HAIR), lightning, background, text AA(celout), composition would be great.

I want to get used to the pixelation firing range again. FIRE AWAY!

[Stwelin]

you have some weird perspective issues that should've been cleared up before colouring.  the legs are doing something weird. i'd suggest working on a solid pose before going any further, she'd fall face-first in this sort of position.

[Mirre]

I think the problem is that the pose is unbalanced. Perspective looks ok. But if someone would stand like that they would topple over backwards. The bent leg should support the body and be more underneath it, and further away from the body for the pose to work. The hair also looks more like one of those plumes that knights have in their helmets, than hair (I thought it was a knight in shiny armour at first when I looked at it). That much hair is quite heavy so I think it shouldn't flow out upwards as much. Also the arm holding the gun forwards is a little bit short (at least shorter than the other arm, which looks just fine).

I really do like your colouring though. You've chosen great colours and I like the details in the brick wall and ground. But it seems as if you've missed at spot just above the head and hair. Or maybe that is shadow? Little too pale for that compared with the other shadows on the ground for example (and the wall and ground are almost the same lightness).

[Omenith]

Thanks for the quick replies.

Mirre, you're spot on with the leg, hopefully theres more stability now. Although I couldn't stabilize her completely I'll leave it since shes supposed to be in the middle of some type of movement (perhaps a roll :p); kinda sorta explains the flying hair. I removed a highlight on the hair to alleviate some of the weight; might need an edit on that. Foot tweaked and background alittle more sharper.

There wasn't much planning involved in making this particular screen. I just started with a blank canvas and threw colors on there for practice. Now I have to make it work.



Lemme know if I'm going in the wrong direction.

[Ryona]

Looks much better now. 

Another thing is, something looks off with the width of her shoulders and the width of her hips. Either the shoulders need to be a bit more narrow, or the hips need to be wider. Looks kinda like a dude right now.

Anyway, the pic looks overall very nice. I like that you used the female kanji there. Works well with the font style of "Street".

[Omenith]

Thanks Ryona. I adjusted both the hips and the shoulders! This kinda fixed the quirks with the arms abit more.

Still not sure what to do with the hair... need more input on that.

Hmm, hitting the 60 color mark. Not sure if I should add more elements into the background or not.

[sharprm]

i hope she shoots that bug good. I think the pose doesn't make sense, but i guess other people don't mind. The alley way looks good,
but the blue thing is hard to tell whether its feather type thing attached to her head or grafiti on the wall. Maybe make the
helmet more spherical or get rid of it all together since you're having trouble making it recognisably a woman. Like the japanese characters
and the lighting of the alley way is good.

[Omenith]

(Yes, I am a troll)

Anyway, yeah, sharprm; I've gotten that from some off-forum critique as well "is she shooting rats?". Well, shes not really trying to shoot anything; it might just be the outstretched arm but if I change it to a more passive position it'll change the composition dramatically.

Heres a thingy to illustrate my point:


So this is another of those function vs aesthetics problem. Anymore insight on this would be great too.


-------------------The edit line---------------------------------
OK OK I HAD A MOMENT I think I could almost light a light bulb over my head...

==FIX #1==
Anyway heres a quick edit:


Yes, its the cheap shoot into the camera pose again! This could still fit the composition and fix some of the problems; adds a better focal point too. I'll think of more later...

[Skull]

Might just be me, but that left leg looks a lot shorter than the right, even in that stance.. 

[Omenith]

Might just be me, but that left leg looks a lot shorter than the right, even in that stance.. 

not just you



-Accepted new change
-Tried to put less volume on the hair; detached it from background
-More boobage
-Shortened left leg
-Tweaked some colors and etc.

----------Edit line-----------



-Foot still felt alittle wonky; moved it
-Added some dithering into the bg
-Cleaned up and tweaked colors