Panda - would you mind explaining more what you mean? Because from a quick glance at your edit it seems like you simply made everything smaller, I didn't really see too many differences other than making the size of the eye more proportional and realistic.
I'll study it more when I get a change tomorrow, but I'd still appreciate further explanation if you can, thanks 
Practically what you had mixed sizes and looked unproportioned. Some elements were kept big (eyes, nose), and some others weren't (shape of the face overall) and made it look swollen.
Also the shapes and volume weren't too loyal to the reference you were using. I guess you got carried on the dithering.
On the edit,
- I changed the shape of the eyes, pulled down the one on the right, and moved both so it would look more like in the reference.
- I made the nose thinner, and pulled it up and changed the nostrils.
- Moved the curve of the eyebrow a tad but kept its size.
- And overall I moved the hair to the right, made the face a tad thinner.
So yeah, I didnt change much, just cropped, painted over and moved stuff.
Anyway, the thing is that if you are going to increase the size of something, you should do it with everything else too.
