That Tank Monster Again (Critique, Feedback)

[B-Rokal]

Is the monster of before, i'm resuming my run n gun game (which I put on hold during because of college) and made an animation on how the "sprout" on his back

During upload I noticed like 98413023419082314 pixels off and quirks that I'm planning to repair later, at the moment is the movement and aesthetic of the animation what i want feedback on (point out the errors if you want anyway in case I missed something)

In like one month I want to post a gameplay of stage one for further feedback (I hope ._.) Hope you like it

[Melodee]

well i think it looks nice but u probably already knew that XDD

[MysteryMeat]

Is the monster of before, i'm resuming my run n gun game (which I put on hold during because of college) and made an animation on how the "sprout" on his back

During upload I noticed like 98413023419082314 pixels off and quirks that I'm planning to repair later, at the moment is the movement and aesthetic of the animation what i want feedback on (point out the errors if you want anyway in case I missed something)

In like one month I want to post a gameplay of stage one for further feedback (I hope ._.) Hope you like it

There's not enough movement on the tail making the body feel tweened, and I think his lips should contort with the inflated cheeks and "scrunch up" a bit during that rather than just pursing together to emphasize the effort of the breath-holding.

[B-Rokal]

Like so?

[MysteryMeat]

Close! Try adding the "edges" of his lips to the outer edge of the cheek balls, and try giving that tail more of a wiggle to it than just a rotation. You're trying to make it look less stiff, aye?


...and on that thought, perhaps some more of a full-body inflation before the thing pops out so it feels more uh... trackable? I'm losing the word I want here so hopefully that one gets the idea across. It's a followthrough thing, the turret kinda pops out after a moment with a lot of movementless space inbetween that makes it hard to connect the breath-holding with the pop.

[JellyStarCat]

Just a quick dirty edit.
I added one more frame to lengthen the build up.
I made its head go higher as it hold the breath.
Its lips cling together in the build up also to express the breath-holding more.
I added a exhale pop so there would be more pressure^(?) to the sprout.
Its head also bobs down a bit at the sprout to show the exhaustion after the sprout.

[B-Rokal]

Close! Try adding the "edges" of his lips to the outer edge of the cheek balls, and try giving that tail more of a wiggle to it than just a rotation. You're trying to make it look less stiff, aye?


...and on that thought, perhaps some more of a full-body inflation before the thing pops out so it feels more uh... trackable? I'm losing the word I want here so hopefully that one gets the idea across. It's a followthrough thing, the turret kinda pops out after a moment with a lot of movementless space inbetween that makes it hard to connect the breath-holding with the pop.

Momentary edit, I have no idea what to do with the tail, the problem i'm facing is that if I animate the tail a lot then i have to do it in the rest of the animations and i'm going to finish the sprite sheet of this guy like in 3018, Happy new year btw

two things, I didnīt get quite right the lips part and JellyStarCat edit is glorious lml so I implemented it (on my style, of course)

[MysteryMeat]

This looks brilliant now, the movement prevents the tail from even being an issue by drawing the eye up the spine instead.

Really on the lips thing you just have to keep the "circle of lip" intact, like...




The difference here being that keeping them as one shape helps keep them feeling voluminous and stretchy, your version does that pretty well with the PBLBLB motion at the end but might help during the windup a bit more to make the lips feel less cut-off by the cheeks

[B-Rokal]

This looks brilliant now, the movement prevents the tail from even being an issue by drawing the eye up the spine instead.

Really on the lips thing you just have to keep the "circle of lip" intact, like...




The difference here being that keeping them as one shape helps keep them feeling voluminous and stretchy, your version does that pretty well with the PBLBLB motion at the end but might help during the windup a bit more to make the lips feel less cut-off by the cheeks

Like so?



(PS: You really really consider this "brilliant" O.O)

[MysteryMeat]

the scrunch is better but you still cut off the edges of the lips! and yea youre doing prdtgy good