I hope a woman artist on the boards does an edit, mainly because they know how to draw women better than I can if nothing else.
Somebody called?
When standing relaxed, most women shift their entire weight to one leg. In this case, that would be her right leg (our left). So, I think that leg should be moved so that it's straight below the body. Frychiko's leg pose looks good too, but not with this upper body. She seems to be leaning to the front too much.
If you have all of your weight on one leg, the hips tilt a LOT, and the shoulders should tilt the other way to match. And when you tilt the shoulders one way, you should tilt the head the other way, otherwise the neck looks detached somehow.
When I looked up the character, I was surprised to see that the blue patches on her shoulder are actually shoulder straps. So, they should be a lot less wide and have some sort of shadow underneath them. I also think you need to give a lot more shape to the dress to show her figure underneath. The sleeves should curve more at the bottom, too.
Lastly, I would try to bring more depth to the hair and eyes, since elaborate hair and overly shiny eyes are a big thing in anime. I take it that you were going for a stern expression rather than pouty, so I would make the mouth more subtle and change the eyebows to look angrier.
Anyway, an edit says more than words, so here's my attempt.
Yours ----> Helm's ----> Mine
