AuthorTopic: Manga Girl [WIP] [C&C]  (Read 1588 times)

Offline Brink

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Manga Girl [WIP] [C&C]

on: September 07, 2014, 07:59:30 am
PC-9801 restrictions. Haven't worked on this for a while now, but I want to go back and finish it. I dunno, some feedback might help me get back on track or something...

Offline YellowLime

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Re: Manga Girl [WIP] [C&C]

Reply #1 on: September 07, 2014, 03:36:55 pm
Typical of disgusting anime filth, this drawing has all the body proportions wrong >:(

Haven't you ever heard of Loomis? Draw a thousand naked men from all existing visual points, with 5 different kinds of lighting, and try again, taking the aural proportions into consideration.



I'm just teasing you, the story of this poor schoolgirl and her kuma tomodachi has touched my heart :hehe:

Although, with all the anatomical nitpicks below, my apology may sound insincere :P


Head:
  • The hair 'starfish', to me, represents where the hair curves back into the head (and thus gets less light reflected on it.)
    So I think it should start a little bit further back.
  • I think it'd be better if the tears were a little thicker. (mwahaha :hehe:)
  • Maybe a little too much back? (Or is it just fabric?) Though I might be wrong on this one.

Her hands:
  • The palm/back of her right hand looked too short.
  • The second finger of the right hand seems too thick.
  • I think that in this angle/position, maybe not all fingers should be seen.
  • Her left hand looks unnaturally tilted towards her. I made it look like it's approximately in the same position as the other one.

(her) right leg:
  • The thigh starts too soon.
  • The leg disappears after being obscured by her right arm.
  • The foreleg should be tilted slightly towards her center of gravity (if she's sitting on her right foot)

(her) left leg:
  • The whole upper part is just too thick, I think.
  • The lower part (foreleg) is the opposite- too thin. Also a little short
  • Maybe there should be some indication of her heel...



But, aside from that, I like this picture a lot :y:
Its quality is on par with most of the titles on that platform, and makes me want to fire up the old emulator (if only I actually knew Japanese...)
« Last Edit: September 07, 2014, 03:40:02 pm by YellowLime »

Offline Seiseki

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Re: Manga Girl [WIP] [C&C]

Reply #2 on: September 07, 2014, 04:02:34 pm
Nice work, but the anime tears would look much better if they're white.

Offline Sohei

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Re: Manga Girl [WIP] [C&C]

Reply #3 on: September 12, 2014, 06:13:30 pm
Very nice work, very nostalgic. I enjoy the overall aesthetics, and restrictions dear to the memory.