Girl on a Horse

[Rosier]

http://filmplatform.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/horse-rearing.jpg


A bit more of my regular style, as opposed to a Hyper Light Drifter one. 
The girl's a bit smaller than I would have preferred, but it definitely gets the monster horse thing across.

  This is just an general outline of the girl's appearance, albeit I forgot a sleeve.

[Johasu]

Quick Critique on the horse image:
To my eyes, the patches of lighter gray on the body seem off.  They appear to be highlights on the legs but on the main body those highlights seem placed incorrectly and/or at odd angles.
The seam on the horse's front leg is distracting and causes it appear to be "stuck on"
The horse's left rear leg (the furthest back) feels much more correct in form and length than the other hind leg. The abdomen feels like it narrows to a point really quickly there.

[HarveyDentMustDie]

Horse proportions are off, perspective is twisted, and shading is bad. You have very good reference, you should study it more carefully. Also I thing that you don't need outlines, colors should "speak" for themselves, you can use that black for additional darker shadow in her hair, clothes etc. Girls posture on the horse is fairly accurate, I like the shape of the hair but her left arm is a bit dislocated (her shoulder seems very low or her arm is longer then  the other one).

Shading is bad on the other character to, because you don't have defined light source. Crotch is a bit too low compared to bellybutton position. Maybe it's just due to specific design of pants. You need more contrast in the face cause it looks very flat, and face features are not very flattering (You should find some reference for this also). I'm not sure what those 3 black pixels on her neck should represent, is it a tattoo?

Maybe I was a bit too harsh, but if you at least change your shading you will see dramatic improvement.

 

[Cyangmou]

The main thing which seems off to me is the dynamism and the weighting. In both things your reference is great.

I don't know a lot about how to ride a horse. In the reference the rider though seems to be much smaller than your girl and he sits closer towards the shoulders of the horse and not at the haunches.
The rider also seems to try to counterbalance the weight, although he pulls the horse's neck back because otherwise he would be thrown off.

If you don't go for the pulling part, the overall angle of the horse should be lower. Otherwise counterbalance the weighting of your figure by referencing the relative spine angles - there is a lot of difference.
Also look how the legs are wrapped around the horse's ribcage and how the upper and lower leg of the rider look.

Another thing which seems to be off is the structure of the legs of your horse. It's missing important joints. Either check up how the basic bone design for arms and legs looks like or look carefully at the reference.

In terms of general proportion your horses rear legs appear by far to long, compared to the whole body and also if you compare them against the length of the front legs the difference is huge.

The by far poorest part nonetheless is how the horses head looks. It's completely flat, seen from the side and don't conveys any form. In the reference you really can feel that you look up to the horses head and you can see the bottom plane and the side plane quite well.

well I actually just roughly tried to fix some proportions, the position of the rider and the weight distribution. l also tried to illustrate roughly what I mean with the head and the legs.
It's sketchy and not exact, but I have no time for making it better/clearer. Maybe it helps you to compare the spots I mentioned with the reference.

[Rosier]

To my eyes, the patches of lighter gray on the body seem off.  They appear to be highlights on the legs but on the main body those highlights seem placed incorrectly and/or at odd angles.
The seam on the horse's front leg is distracting and causes it appear to be "stuck on"
The horse's left rear leg (the furthest back) feels much more correct in form and length than the other hind leg. The abdomen feels like it narrows to a point really quickly there.

I'll keep this all in mind with the one right above.

Horse proportions are off, perspective is twisted, and shading is bad.
Also I thing that you don't need outlines,
I like the shape of the hair but her left arm is a bit dislocated.

Proportions can be fixed.
I disagree with not needing outlines for this exact sprite.  I feel it might look odd without them in some places.  Always worth a try, though.
It totally is, isn't it?

Shading is bad on the other character to, because you don't have defined light source. Crotch is a bit too low compared to bellybutton position. Maybe it's just due to specific design of pants. You need more contrast in the face cause it looks very flat, and face features are not very flattering (You should find some reference for this also). I'm not sure what those 3 black pixels on her neck should represent, is it a tattoo

This is really just a thing to show people that that is what she looks like.  I'll keep this in mind in case I ever want to fix it, but it's mainly just a reference I made a while before making the horse sprite.
The neck pixels are supposed to be a collar, but putting more anywhere on her neck made it look a lot worse.  Bit of a weak excuse, but it's true.

Maybe I was a bit too harsh, but if you at least change your shading you will see dramatic improvement.

If you don't point out my mistakes, I can't try to fix them.  By all means, as long as you aren't say "This sux kbai," be my guest.

In the reference the rider though seems to be much smaller than your girl and he sits closer towards the shoulders of the horse and not at the haunches.
The rider also seems to try to counterbalance the weight, although he pulls the horse's neck back because otherwise he would be thrown off.
Also look how the legs are wrapped around the horse's ribcage and how the upper and lower leg of the rider look.
The by far poorest part nonetheless is how the horses head looks.

I shrunk the horse's neck down a bit, just because it started to look like a giraffe when translated to pixels.  That's probably why she's a bit bigger than the guy in the photo.  I'll up the size a bit.
She's not so much riding the horse as she is fighting to stay on.  That thing around the horse's neck is her choking it, which is why the pose isn't quite the same.
I'll look at the legs on your edit and go with that.
The head could use some improvement. 
Your edit is greatly appreciated.

[wolfenoctis]

Basically what Cyangmou said, mainly proportions and anatomy, a rough edit:

[Rosier]

Two versions based on both of the edits, mainly because they looked so radically different.


...Wow, I really need to try out spriting without outlines.  That makes it look completely different.  Either way, both are huge improvements.  Thanks for the help with this.

[HarveyDentMustDie]

I disagree with not needing outlines for this exact sprite.  I feel it might look odd without them in some places.

Wow, I really need to try out spriting without outlines.  That makes it look completely different.

...And you thought that I was wrong. 

Horse mouth is not anatomically correct. You made it's lower jaw short and almost human. At least your shading suggest that.

And the nose is distorted to, mainly because you've fuzed two edit heads with slightly different perspective. Front hooves looks more like cat paws, look at edits again.

Also you shouldn't just cut out parts from peoples edits and paste them on your piece, you'll not learn anything. Try to draw it yourself, it will be a good practice.

[Rosier]

I disagree with not needing outlines for this exact sprite.  I feel it might look odd without them in some places.

Wow, I really need to try out spriting without outlines.  That makes it look completely different.

...And you thought that I was wrong. 

I'll admit it, I was totally wrong.  I've never tried that style, so I never knew how it could look.  I can definitely see an attempt at it in the future.

Also you shouldn't just cut out parts from peoples edits and paste them on your piece, you'll not learn anything. Try to draw it yourself, it will be a good practice.

Noted.

So would that make this the final?

[HarveyDentMustDie]

It's much better then if your first version. Front legs and front left hoof are still not perfect. Leg joints should be well defined like in the back legs, now they look like they are made out of rubber.


Although you fixed front right hoof, left one is still narrow long and deformed.