I think your main issue is the hip-line (shoulde rline could use some work as well)
Your skirt is horizontal though the legs are widely spread. this makes it appear that both legs have different length while the hip is really static. If you study Facet's edit you will see how he worked with rhytm for the hip line and the shoulders.
Your clothed version has a horizontal hip line (skirt lower edge) and a horizontal shoulder line. - try to apply the main landmarks of faces edit in the clothes as well.
If you look closely at her left leg you will see that the knee is displaced. the anatomy of the upper leg (at least what I can read from the shading) don't matches together with the position.
Her hand on the hip also seems to be really misformed, it looks to me more like a cat claw.
The other huge proplem I spot are huge inconsistencies with the light direction: most is frontal lit, her lower left arm is lighted from the right side, sword too, hair too, breasts are flat shaded, while the head is shaded from 45° upper light)
The belly currently seems to be the far most important spot to look at, the breast are flat (which makes no sense if you are drawing a design like that) - tone down the light on the belly, increase the light at the top (face, shoulder area)
the reflected light next to her right knee barb (if that's right in english, at least below her left knee) is definitely off if the light is coming from above.
There are even more smaller anatomical inconsistencies, like:
her right lower arm seems to be to longs, the breasts are completely flat on the torso (they are usually facing away from each other)
her right shoulder seems to be by far to big compares to her left shoulder
the legs in your base have different lengths
the calfy could use more stress for such high shoes
the neck is to long, or there need to be more back muscles visible (in the base)
belly button is too high, or at least the brown shading makes it appear higher
head seems to be misattached to the neck (sternomastoid - ear line)
feet are both fixed to the bottom (no weighting in the pose)
the line of the suspenders don't works wll with the rest of the upper legs
I know all the anatomical stuff is just nitpicking compared to the other, more important stuff I mentioned before, but since I had a lot of the same anatomical problems with the last characters I drew and I am currently studying all those subtleties carefully to get them right, I think some of the observations might help you for your overall image as well.