As an offset of the focus on anatomy, one thing this lacks is the thin cartoony proportions of the original.
You could stick to it more, which could be more interesting:

This edit mainly took some resizing and color reducing.
If you're still doing this in Mojry's style, the colored outlines, flat colors, no AA and crazy designs basically ties itself into anime, if done right. I'm advocating the opposite of Helm's point with this (rendering vs. simplifying) but it depends on which direction you want to go.
Crow: Yeah I agree. Attempted to fix some things about the edit, mostly facial, but I'm trying not to change it too drastically.