[C&C] Diver Meets Fish

[GustoGaiden]

Hello! I am making myself some business cards, and decided to go with some pixel art. I was hoping I could run it by you guys before printing to see if you had any suggestions on how to make it look better. Get as nit-picky as you like, I have a lot to learn! The thing bothering me the most is the fish.



I'm trying to make it look like he's mildly upset that this diver is interrupting his leisurely swim, and I can't seem to get his eye to look right. I'm also not super happy with the pipe. I'm not sure if it looks enough like it is actually in the fish's mouth.

Also, any tips you have for printing pixel art would be very welcome. I was going to do this at kinkos. Is there anything specific I should ask from them? Will regular business card paper hold the hard edges well enough?

Thanks!


Edit: Here's the full sized print if composition is your thing.

[pistachio]

The diver seems to be the focal point of the piece, for multiple reasons. I don't know too much about composition, so these are probably just stabs in the dark.

Having learned to read from left to right, me and some others who read similarly are likely to stumble upon the diver first, but that's not all. It's the second-brightest part of the image, and it's larger than the fish. The oxygen pipe also directs attention to the diver. It pretty much acts as an arrow your eye follows to the diver (or skips directly to him.) I'm probably more likely to relate to the diver as well, because I'm not a fish. (The full size print helps, but not by much.)

Actually, you might want to disregard that... Re-read the description, and while it doesn't specify exactly whether the diver or fish is the main focal point, I assumed it was the fish. The diver makes much more sense, however.

The fish's eyes look very stylized, which is highly unnatural. If you're having trouble, try using reference; this will help for both the fish and diver, maybe more. Working on your fundamentals would greatly improve this if you're going to revisit it in the future. But since you can't become a great artist overnight, even in two nights, it's probably your best bet for now.

The whole thing seems like an unfinished doodle. It lacks shape or form, and since you're talking pixel art, there are a lot of techniques you're missing out on. (!) Why is the diver's belt (or the fish) facing us, for example, or why is he seemingly tipping over, perhaps by the weight of his helmet? How, in turn, is it attached to his body? Where's his feet/hands?

The concept is interesting but the execution needs work. You might even need to redo it. It may sound overwhelming but it's the best way to go.

[Seiseki]

I had some time to kill, so I played around with this really quick.
It was just for fun, and to keep me from getting rusty so it's probably filled with errors

[Phlakes]

Yeah, it looks like basically all you did was color in some line art, with a few details of course. Like you filled everything with a midtone, and then put simple regions of light and dark. That's not how shading works. It conforms to shapes on a surface, just like the hat and the fish tail in Seiseki's edit. When you hold your hand up in front of your face, there's a lot more going on than |light|-|mid|-|dark|. And once you start working with shadows over details, you can give the illusion that details are there without really drawing them. In a small piece, you have such a limited area that you need those illusions, because you physically can't draw everything.

But yeah, it does just look like a doodle. Most of the line art is unrefined, especially in the helmet area, and too much of it is basically cartoon shading. Which is to say not much at all, and what is there is very basic.

[GustoGaiden]

Thanks a lot for the pointers guys! I changed around a few things, and this is the version that went to the printer a few days ago. I should have given myself more time!

I will likely continue to fiddle with it and print another batch once I am happier with the way it looks, and also adding important things like my phone number (oops!).