That sort of finish is all that's left for me in pixel art, really. The only thing that still excites me about what pixels do. Your second pass is stronger in terms of readability and sharpness for sure. I can parse the sprite at lesser zooms, some of the embroidery and flash is gone but it's not a huge detriment. Have you thought about pushing some of the values apart through tints and contrast? The darkest color you're using for separations, especially.