It's looking promising.

Basically, what Larwick said, plus a few things.

The shape of the lower lip isn't very well defined right now. Using only that bright shade to define it makes it look flat. I would also be careful with using such dark lines, like under the lip and nose. This makes them look very sharp compared to other features and draws a lot of attention to them. I think the part of the nose furthest away needs to be foreshortened more, and I also moved the right eye further to the left. I shrunk the left shoulder and tried to give him a more obvious adam's apple. I should probably have put a little more thought into the neck area, though.
Overall, I'd go with more blocky facial features. Feminine is softer, masculine is sharper. Perhaps a little too sharp in this edit compared to the style you're going for. Don't be afraid to use reference to get a better idea of where to place the facial features and the facial planes. The area around the eyes seems a little sketchy at the moment. Keep in mind that the eyes is perhaps the most important part of the face to us, so I think this is a place it would be wise to put a little extra care into.
Hope that helps.
