AuthorTopic: WIP - Go back to sleep  (Read 6795 times)

Offline Tarenken

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WIP - Go back to sleep

on: April 03, 2010, 02:39:52 am


Two characters from my work in progress novel, in a work in progress pixel! Haha... haha...
Uhh, anyways, any critique you could give would help. I think my understanding of anatomy has improved from past threads but I have a looooong way to go...

Offline NaCl

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #1 on: April 03, 2010, 03:11:32 am
A little more description would be helpful. I quite like it so far, but I think the story it tells could be clarified. What is the yellow and purple thing in the background for example? I also think removing the black outlines completely, or replacing them with darker colors of what they are outlining would improve it.

Offline Mathias

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #2 on: April 03, 2010, 04:52:29 am
whoa this is creepy. what is happening? is the yellow-haired char like an arachnacentaur or something? that bird is all up in her/his face; no concept of personal zone. go back to sleep? what. birdy needs a shadow under it's hand on other char's shoulder.

Offline Tarenken

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #3 on: April 03, 2010, 05:45:29 am
You're pretty much spot-on, Mathias, the background character has the lower body of a spider (or as you put it, arachnacentaur)

It's a specific scene in the story, where Aoi (bird person) grabs Madara's (spider person) shoulders and tells him to go back to sleep. As I imagine it happening in the story, she's looking at Madara, but in the pixel version she's looking at the viewer. I thought it looked cooler that way, like she had some sort of control over him - which she does, in a way.

I noticied some things which I'll fix tommorrow (or later tonight, depending on how late I stay up).

Offline Aelyrin

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #4 on: April 03, 2010, 07:54:20 am
The biggest thing bugging me right now would be that Madara's hair is hanging on Aoi's shoulder, even though they're some distance apart. Also, to me, your feathers kinda look like scales. :o They're very smooth.

Offline Tarenken

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #5 on: April 14, 2010, 02:20:21 am
Made some adjustments. The outline colors are a heavy WIP at this moment. Selout will come when I'm near the end stage.

Offline ilkke

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #6 on: April 14, 2010, 08:32:23 am
You should make it clear that the spider belly is connected with the human torso.
Also, what's with the human's arm? Is it supposed to be behind his back?
I suggest you take a look at yourself in the mirror trying to recreate the pose as close as possible. All will be revealed. :)
i

Offline Manupix

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #7 on: April 17, 2010, 08:00:04 am
The bird's body is almost seen straight from the back, and its head from the side; also agree with Mathias that it's too close to the spider guy. A step backwards, an extended arm and a slightly more side view would help.
Birds don't have necks like humans do. Maybe check some Horus pics.

Spider guy: agree with comments, it doesn't look connected, doesn't read as spider, and the arm thing is really weird.
Why do you have to crop the image like that? No way to show more of the spider?

Colors are in need of recycling / unification. So far each part has a separate palette.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2010, 08:03:58 am by Manupix »

Offline Tarenken

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Re: WIP - Go back to sleep

Reply #8 on: May 12, 2010, 06:12:52 pm


edits...

A lot of that stuff I wasn't able to do, but I gave it a shot. It's cropped that way since whenever I draw the spider guy it comes out bad. P: