AuthorTopic: Akira's SS. Picnic under the sleeping robot in the mossy forest.  (Read 6670 times)

Offline Jad

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I'm calling this done!

 

I feel there are things I could and should've done differently, but I can't figure it out by myself. Please know that I will probably not touch this again in a while, but please do critique whatever comes to mind, even as far as composition! Edits, paintovers, anything goes - I will take it all in and I will try to learn. <3
' _ '

Offline Souly

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My god Jad it's stunning, it's all so soft and fuzzy with a great atmosphere of lighting.  :y: :'(

Offline Pizza Tom

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The black outlines and lack of shading on the girl and items make it hard for me to believe that she's actually in that environment- it almost gives it a sort of "green screen" effect.

That aside, I love the mood you've established.  ' D '
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Offline EyeCraft

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The black outlines and lack of shading on the girl and items make it hard for me to believe that she's actually in that environment- it almost gives it a sort of "green screen" effect.

That aside, I love the mood you've established.  ' D '

Indeed. Everything else is so beautifully sculpted with light and shadow that the girl is almost like a hole in the image, existing in a separate dimension. It's also the fact the warm, saturated colours used don't unify with the scene. Even if you just had some cel-shading with the shadows tinted towards the scene's ambient that would help a lot, I'm guessing.

Compositionally, I have this nagging feeling like the girl should be over to the right more.

The rays of light filtering in from the top left are at an angle that slightly contradicts the way the robot has been lit. Looking at the shadow it casts, and the way its far arm is lit, it feels like the rays of light should be steeper, slightly more over-head of the robot.

The leaves at the base of and creeping up the trees kind of break the delicious soft haziness you've established with the background because their contrast and sharpness is higher than everything else. I think if you got a little more hazy with them, it would do wonders for keeping the eyes attention on the foreground.

The rocks are very blobby and lack the sophisticated sculpture of the robot. That succeeds in keeping the eye way from them, but they break the immersion when my eye starts exploring the image. Looking at the amount of light hitting the robot's back, it feels like the rocks should have much broader areas of highlight, rather than the brief rims and specs. I'm not saying necessarily make them brighter, just distribute their values more in accordance to how the scene is lit.

I think that's all I have for now. I've told you I love this piece though, haven't I?  :-*
« Last Edit: March 15, 2010, 03:13:11 am by EyeCraft »

Offline EvilEye

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Looks great, you did the background for a nice picture, now where is the foreground ???

This reminds me of an old animated movie with a giant robot and a few kids ( kid? ), but I forgot the name.

Offline 7321551

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Very excellent.
The incongruity of the girl's style makes for a pretty interesting effect, but I prefer the solo robot - it's very atmospheric,  & seems to tell a story about stumbling across a derelict robot in a secluded forest. Depends what you're going for, ultimately.

This eye drew my attention. Is it too high, or something?

Offline EvilEye

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This eye drew my attention. Is it too high, or something?

Yes, but I think he's done :)

Offline Jad

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I might tweak this, but not in the coming days, there are other things that I need to get done ' 3 '

Thanks for the praise, guys, feels great to hear that the atmosphere is what people enjoy.

The girl is intentionally completely separate from the scenery around her, I wanted the feeling that she doesn't belong. She's having some sort of kitschy picnic in some sacred forest, what's up with that anyway.

I have these separate ideals in my mind, that I nurture with my thoughts and dreams. One of that of the sacred Miyazaki forest reality where gods still dwell within the lushest darkest forests, where everything tingles with utter life force.

The other is some kind of 60s-in-space-and-possibly-on-earth-too café cutesy girl bossa nova kitsch hey let's have a picnic reality that I love to dreagr and think about too, I like the aesthetic a million and apply it to other things I like.

This, in my mind, is a girl from that universe having a picnic in the other universe. So it's some kind of experiment that mainly I would understand.

Other from that it also resembles the visual differences between painted backgrounds and cel-animated elements of hand-animated movies, but possibly taken to the extreme. All I can say is that it's not something I did without intent - I think I feel the same about it as 7321551; I like the incongruity, but I wouldn't have posted the solo robot if there was no appeal in having it all by itself. Rant over.

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The black outlines and lack of shading on the girl and items make it hard for me to believe that she's actually in that environment- it almost gives it a sort of "green screen" effect.

That aside, I love the mood you've established.  ' D '

Indeed. Everything else is so beautifully sculpted with light and shadow that the girl is almost like a hole in the image, existing in a separate dimension. It's also the fact the warm, saturated colours used don't unify with the scene. Even if you just had some cel-shading with the shadows tinted towards the scene's ambient that would help a lot, I'm guessing.

For the reasons explained above, I'm not touching that. I might desaturate her colors (SELF-CONTRADICTION, 'I'm not touching that'? aw Jad) and make her conform more to the shadow, but I'm not sure if she's able to even have partial shadow, in the universe and virtual game restrictions of the game universe from which she comes. Yeah, I know, I'm imposing so many silly rules on myself. WHY IS HER THERMOS SHADED!? bad form, me.

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Compositionally, I have this nagging feeling like the girl should be over to the right more.

I think it's because her plaid isn't surrounded by equal amounts of shadow. I could move her whenever I touch this again. Good crit.

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The rays of light filtering in from the top left are at an angle that slightly contradicts the way the robot has been lit. Looking at the shadow it casts, and the way its far arm is lit, it feels like the rays of light should be steeper, slightly more over-head of the robot.

If I could only fix this in a way that wouldn't require me to rework huge parts of the piece for two night straight. I know, it doesn't have to take that much time, but I know from experience that that's how it goes when I try to redo things like that ' n ' It was one of the first inconsistencies in the piece that I decided that I'd just have to live with. Sadly.

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The leaves at the base of and creeping up the trees kind of break the delicious soft haziness you've established with the background because their contrast and sharpness is higher than everything else. I think if you got a little more hazy with them, it would do wonders for keeping the eyes attention on the foreground.
Good point!
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The rocks are very blobby and lack the sophisticated sculpture of the robot. That succeeds in keeping the eye way from them, but they break the immersion when my eye starts exploring the image. Looking at the amount of light hitting the robot's back, it feels like the rocks should have much broader areas of highlight, rather than the brief rims and specs. I'm not saying necessarily make them brighter, just distribute their values more in accordance to how the scene is lit.

Buhuhuu ; A ;

I suck at rocks. To render a thing such as a rock, what the hell. I'm just resorting to symbols, completely in zombie control by the left side of my brain. I ask myself 'how does a rock look' and my left brain answers 'IT'S A BALL WITH THING ON' and then I try to render that. The anatomy of a rock is beyond me, but some studies will cure that.

I wanted the light to focus almost completely on the 'bot, but to be honest, the lighting of the robot and the lighting of the rocks .. just don't go together!

I can live with the girl and her surroundings being inherently disconnected, but I am not happy with how the background is inconsistent with itself. But alas, this is hand-drawn media, if I want to change the lighting I will have to redraw basically everything. So I'll have to go for the biggest eyesores, if I ever revisit this.

.. like that eye. Man I draw skewed. Ffff. Thanks for pointing it out, 7321551. (how would you go about choosing that nick!? srsly)
' _ '

Offline big brother

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Quick comment: outlines aside, the color on the girl doesn't seem like she's sitting in the shadow of the robot.

Offline Tobe

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I find it kinda odd that you choose to give the girl a black outline to begin with. Was it some special effect you were going for that didn't quite worked out?

Composition wise, I would actually have her sitting on the right facing the left. Kinda like, she wanna see her robot while shes resting. Though you can also say that, she had her back against the robot because she believe in him.

Well, I don't know the story behind this, but there's so many possibilities here. Loves it :)