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Messages - Joshua
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So, for those of you who aren't aware of my history, I've been battling opiate/drug addiction since I was homeless at the age of 17. That's when I started making the mistake of taking money, and not doing the work. I never set out to "rip off" anyone. I always took on the work with the best intentions- always ready to do the work. Unfortunately, the nature of my addiction kept me in a state to where I often felt I "needed" an advance payment so I could purchase the drugs so I could not be sick and actually do the work. Instead what would happen is I'd get the money, get the drugs, start the work (sometimes I wouldn't even get that far) then I'd be sick again, and couldn't sit still or focus to actually get anything done due to the withdrawal (Serious opiate withdrawal is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy). This may sound like an excuse, but it's not. I take full responsibility for what I've done. What I'm doing here is telling the truth. Powerful opiate addiction is a very serious, deadly, and nearly irreversible affliction and it makes otherwise good people, do things they would absolutely never do.

So over the years, this behavior only got worse. Unfortunately, from the time the original post was made in this thread, to when I stopped doing this, no one actually saw any of the art I did complete for which I was paid. For instance, I worked on Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark (DS), Hotel Transylvania (DS), etc. for Wayforward, as well as the work I completed for indie developers from about 2009 to 2016. Again, I'm not excusing my behavior, only explaining the other side of the situation.

Also, there have been several claims in this thread (more recently) where people were saying that I "almost" ripped them off, then they saw this post, then decided not to work with me. I can't guarantee that I necessarily would have done the work for these folks because I've only been in recovery for a couple of years, but that doesn't mean that I would've ripped them off.

My addiction, being homeless, along with other environmental factors in my life contributed to this behavior. So. I've been in a place in my life for the past couple of years where I've been doing art, refraining from large advances, which has resulted in many happy clients. I'm not going to go looking for these people to testify to this because I don't think I'm really going to change any minds with this post anyhow. My point here is that I'm clean and I'm trying to live a virtuous life.

As part of my recovery, it is absolutely essential that I make amends with those who I've hurt while in active addiction. There are a lot of people. I don't intend to put the burden upon them to contact me, but if you see this, and I owe you money/work, please contact me so I can begin to make amends. To those who don't get a chance to see this, I'll do my best to contact them as soon as possible and start some kind of payment plan, possibly provide the graphics they originally wanted- whatever I can do within my current means.

Look, the bottom line here is that, yes, I took advantage of people. The addiction thing is no excuse but is damn sure a reason. Whether I intended to rip anyone off or not, really is irrelevant. It happened. I am willing to right these wrongs. I don't have much money, but I can work something out with the people who have been affected by my unprofessional work ethic.

Also, I started going by Robinson (I was born "Joshua Robinson". I was then adopted by the guy who abused me with the surname "Astorian" when I was 8. He ended up leaving and I was stuck with his name) for the most part, to evade this negative feedback I'd brought upon myself. I didn't make up a name so I could "rip off" more people. Again, it was never my intention to do that. I was born Robinson and would've changed my name back anyhow. So that's that.

I don't really expect anyone to understand how being homeless and addicted to heroin/opiates could make a good person do this, but I at least had to ATTEMPT to explain the reality of the situation.

To "janedoe": You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Almost everything you wrote in your post you made up aside from me having a criminal history. A criminal history tends to go hand-in-hand with serious drug addiction. I'm sure you were angry when you posted that but there's no need to make stuff up. I'd say all the LEGITIMATE negative attention I've brought upon myself is good enough to make it so I cannot find work anymore.


Again, Please PM me if I owe you or someone you know money/work.

General Discussion / Re: I am looking for Joshua Astorian.
« on: November 19, 2009, 02:10:56 am »
I want to apologize to everyone I've received money from and didn't complete the work. I have just been incredibly busy dealing with major life situations and its caused me to take on work in the hope that my situation would change I would be able to do the work. I recently found out my fiance is pregnant and I have literally no place to live for me or my family. I am homeless. I'm not trying to give that as an excuse for my irresponsible decision to take on work that I wasn't absolutely certain I'd be able to complete but it has hindered my work.

I am currently trying to work this out with everyone so if I missed you please send me a pm.



General Discussion / Re: I am looking for Joshua Astorian.
« on: June 04, 2009, 09:13:32 pm »
I'm sorry to you guys, it'll be a couple of weeks or so before I'll be able to refund your money. I was just kicked out of the place I was staying so I've been sleeping outside, and trying to find food where I can. I didn't anticipate this problem arising before I agreed to complete the work. I'm really sorry, I'll definitely give you guys both refunds as soon as I possibly can.

Also, thanks for being so patient. Oh, and in regard to me being arrested- I was trying to sleep on my mom's porch one night and she called the police on me. I'm not a criminal, I just keep getting delt a crappy hand. I'm working on it though.

Pixel Art / Re: Stroll on the beach (full frontal boobage)
« on: March 13, 2009, 02:37:27 am »
Really good looking sprite. Very smooth at this point. My main gripe though, at this point is your selout. Its really not necessary for a sprite within a background. I've addressed that as well as some issues with smoothing out the shading a little bit.



Pixel Art / Re: Lennus Portriat/poster (Alien Creature.)
« on: March 13, 2009, 12:30:18 am »
Well, first of all, this image needs to be refined. Thats really your biggest problem from what I can tell. You got to put in that pixel level detail for it to really come together otherwise, like Gil said, its not going to be finished.

Another thing- you got to show part of the arm as to not confuse the viewer. Otherwise its just going to look like a floating circle. Also, the gun needs to look more metallic. Heres a rough edit to illustrate what I mean:

You don't necessarily have to show the top part of the arm like I've done, it'll work just as well if you show the bottom.

Pixel Art / Re: Two Face Challenge [warning: wiggly manparts]
« on: March 09, 2009, 10:00:10 am »
Hah! This is cute, man. I think you definitely addressed the issue with the leg movement.

Basically, all you really need to do now is refine, clean up the lines a bit more, fill out the shading, make the bg transparent, and there you go.

Pixel Art / Re: C64 Avey Tare WIP
« on: March 09, 2009, 12:22:37 am »


Pixel Art / Re: C64 Avey Tare WIP
« on: March 08, 2009, 03:22:42 am »

You were right, thanks. And he's casting a level 4 wizardry spell.

Pixel Art / C64 Avey Tare WIP
« on: March 08, 2009, 02:50:48 am »

I figured this was going to take a while so I decided I'll show the progression here. I haven't even started checking out the 8x8 deal. I'm still working on the likeness and the colors.

Heres my reference:

Its Avey Tare from my favorite musical group, Animal collective.

Pixel Art / Re: Avatars!
« on: March 03, 2009, 09:07:13 am »

Quick edit. Basically, the idea is to try and line up the features according to each other. For instance, the pupil generally lines up with the corners of the mouth. The inner part of the eye generally lines up with the corner of the nostril. Once you have found these correlations within your reference then it becomes a lot easier to draw a likeness.

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