Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: LuckyF on August 28, 2009, 06:13:49 am

Title: Wip background.
Post by: LuckyF on August 28, 2009, 06:13:49 am
OK I was doodling the other day and came up with something that i thought was pretty interesting. Then I started refining things and something started to bother me about this piece. But I cant figure out what ))) So I thought I'll show it to you and maybe someone will give some useful advice ))

P.S. In case anyone wonders, yes I was playing flashback at the moment ))) I think it shows )
Title: Re: Wip background.
Post by: fortunato on August 28, 2009, 07:22:20 am
whats bothering you is probably the composition. now mind you i dont know shit about composition (or at least the science or whatever of it) but i think you might be happier if the whole 'platform' (the part of the tree you walk on) was shifted more towards the right and that the whole thing was possibly moved down a tiny bit (not so sure about the last one but def the first one) because it seems as though this is some kind of platformer mockup and normally the main character is, yes, close to where you have him but once again.. more shifted to the right and down a bit.. i guess you could say close to the bottom left corner to the screen. now it seems youre trying to show height by the placement of those platforms.. either that or it was purely just on accident/how shit played out with it. if the latter is the case then im sure youd probably have no problem giving the moving a try but if the former is the case... yes it does show height but what you get (for some reason i dont know yet as im a beginner in art myself) is an odd emptiness and a general some kind of off balance, 'hmm-its-good-but-something-seems-somewhat-off' kind of effect (eh? nice one huh? haha). i guess some way to fix this would be some sort of foliage action going on at the bottom there... but that might just be dressing up shit in a dress (not saying your art is shit.. [i actually quite like this] but you get what i mean i hope). which brings me back to my previous suggestion.. which is, to lower that platform! i mean dont get me wrong i love empty space and empty space often has a powerful effect on the viewer in the realms of composition/artwork in general (**read footnote) but in this example it doesnt not have that effect.. the only effect it has on me is that something seems unfinished. now yes i know your piece isnt done.. or else you wouldnt have put WIP in the tile. but you wanted some useful advice so damnit im gonna give you the best advice i can muster on 0 hours of sleep... haha. basically, the gist of this whole nonsense-fuck is move the fuckin thing down more and to the right a bit, haha. as long as the bottoms (or parts at least) are showing off the platforms then it will still convey height if thats what you want to go for and shit in general it will just look 100x times better. i mean you dont have to think fuckin super mario here (though that is a good example of what im about to say) but think of most platformers youve played... and think of the placement of where you can walk... where is that shit half the time? the fuckin bottom.. now by all means im for breaking barriers and starting trends but you have to think about whats just gonna look good and probably better here... like i said you dont have to go mario and put the shit all the way at the bottom but once again i say go for a slight movement down and to the right a bit... almost so that your main guy is almost 1/3 in the shot... but more like in between 1/4 and 1/3... 2/5 or something like that. but what the fuck do i know? i hate math.
i wish i could have a picture to better explain my 5 AM ramblings to you but oh hey would you look at that its five fuckin am.. haha just joking but in all seriousness i am a bit lazy.. tomorrow ill try to have a picture for you if you need some more clarity.
on another note, REALLY like the detail on the bridge in the background... great fuckin job.. haha
(on another another more personal note i noticed that, at least what _I_ think are my best crits are always in the wee hours of the night/early early morning when i should be sleeping... this is a new science i swear to fucking god that everything worth noticing is always made when you should be doing something else.. am i right or am i right?)

**i tend to think that composition really is pretty much artwork... now anyone who disagrees listen here for a second.. in my experience a piece with great composition thats lacking in actual technical skill such as anatomy or something is really just as good as some piece with better technical skill.. composition gives your piece charm and actual enjoyability to look at pretty much.. and oh hey isnt that part of the definition of art or something? something thats pleasing to the eye i.e. something beautiful to look at? forgive me i tend to ramble

EDIT: i felt bad not giving you any pics to look at so here you go
(http://www.slashgamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/super-mario-bros.jpg) i know i said you dont have to super mario it but this just proves my point further.. wheres he at? bottom and to the left.
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UqUwVPikChs/SWycxlrZJhI/AAAAAAAAIEM/Ma8EesfPfUs/s400/secretmaryo.jpg) mario-LIKE game that is better suited to my point
(http://www.trustedreviews.com/images/article/inline/8420-Braid1copy.jpg) this ones actually more towards the center
now that im looking up pictures of platformers im realizing that actually lots of them place the character towards the middle... shhhhiiittt.. but they still have one thing in common which is that the spaces you walk on are more towards the bottom of the screen or the 'ground' if you will. like i said you can basically do whatever the fuck you want.. but im speaking in compositional terms and in my gut feeling that i think (though it looks fucking sick now) it would look not as gay if you nudged that platform down a bit more... you might lose some of that little tree detail you got goin on on the one on the right which i like but once again im talking about whats just going to look best (at least in my humble opinion) and sometimes that takes a bit of sacrifice to really make shit shine. now i really gotta fucking sleep some so ill talk to you later. keep this shit up and keep me posted. peace.
COMPLETELY UNRELATED EDIT: holy fucking shit i just noticed that your avatar looks pretty much EXACTLY like my fucking friend... haha if youre even interested he pretty much looks like this:
http://videodetective.com/photos/268/011279_14.jpg (guy in the middle with the long hair)
plus this guy:
Title: Re: Wip background.
Post by: LuckyF on August 28, 2009, 07:47:14 am
Totally agree about the composition. But the thing is the placement of things is kinda random, like you said happened by accident. I just started to ad details to the color blobs that I had originally and didn't bothered to move them to their proper place )) But good things to consider especially about showing hight.
I think something about the colors that bothers me, but I can't quite figure out what =\

P.S. And that little guy is from different piece, he just was in this document for some reason and I forgot to erase him, so don't mind him )
 They not wearing a baseball cap ) But I do... ))
Title: Re: Wip background.
Post by: Morden on August 28, 2009, 10:27:05 am

I missed your P.S. when I read through the topic and I was about to point out how similar to Flashback everything looks. The twisted tree trunk, and especially the background. It still looks great, though. The only thing I can comment on is the character. Maybe it's Flashback that makes me think that, but the character appears to be a bit small. Or maybe it's because there's so much free space. Still, he seems like a really small dude who probably wouldn't make the jump across the gap.
Title: Re: Wip background.
Post by: LuckyF on August 28, 2009, 11:03:12 am
I think you missed P.S #2 ))) The little guy was there when i started doodling, I just didn't remove him. So I don't think he's going to be there in the final  :)
Title: Re: Wip background.
Post by: EyeCraft on August 30, 2009, 10:20:46 am
It's a pretty brilliant start  :).

First thing I thought when I looked at it was `colours are off'. The palette you have for the tree trunks I think might be at the heart of it. It seems to lack harmony with the rest of the piece. The reds mixing into the greens makes the trunks kind of loud and distracting, but at the same time muddy. I'm inclined to think a greater presence of cool tones could really help the mood of the piece, since at the moment its hovering more around warms and neutrals.

I might have a play around with an edit, see if I come up with anything.



Maybe something like this. I'm thinking you could even kill the highlight you have on the trunk in the bottom right of the image. Or take some of the shadow out of the crevices, either way I say the contrast needs to be reduced there.
Title: Re: Wip background.
Post by: Randommonkies on September 01, 2009, 09:53:47 pm
I think It has a really nice style. I don't think the composition is that big of an issue, it can shift around in a game depending on how far the camera goes near the borders of the level as well. Right now it seems like you guy is about as high as he can go, which kinda works for the scene.

I'd juts put in some more immediate background treetops etc near the bottom of the screen and behind the big trunk, just so it breaks up the blue a bit more, and makes it seem more like something is down there.
Making the ground plain not so flat might also give it a better feel. In the picture posted by morden the ground is just a bit bumpir than yours so it feels really organic.

Also, if you do have a character in the final version, (though you may have thought if this already) standing on the right platform standing/leaning against the tree trunk would look cool.

I think the colours and style are a really nice start!