Pixelation
Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: Cure on May 25, 2009, 01:13:31 am
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c+c plz
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/cabaged.gif)
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/galacticgarden-1.gif)
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vejtuble6.gif)
latest:
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/finalfinal.gif)
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Nice work on the colors.
There is some weakness in the lines though.
(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w104/chris_6713/galacticgardenedit.gif)
I pointed to the parts that stick out in my mind.
Why are the arms different lengths? Looks bad IMO.
What is that shadow behind the right tentacle?
It seems like you ran out of gas on the feet. They don't hold up to the rest of the piece.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/gardenedit.gif)
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/cabbagegarden.gif)
edit:
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/gardengarden.gif)
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amazing work thus far, looking forward to seeing the finished piece
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It looks really nice; I really like the atmosphere. Still, the way he holds his tentacles confuses me. His left tentacle almost seems to be on backwards. To me, it doesn't look like an organic part of him, if you know what I mean, kinda like he's not used to having/controlling it.
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Cure! This looks very awesome so far. I really like the character and your color selections.
The only thing that throws me off is this:
(http://www.bananattack.com/stuff/art/edits/cure_suggestion.png)
His left arm seems too unnatural. Almost like he's put a "kink" in his tentacle because he's bending it too drastically. I'd say make that curve back a little more gradual and it'll be awesome.
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better?
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/gardengarden3.gif)
still got plenty to do on the bg
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the alien stands out too much from the background.
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the alien stands out too much from the background.
No, he doesn't? ??? I think he stands out just right in brightness.
However, I think the colors are much too saturated. If you desaturated the background a bit, you could make the character stand out so much more. Right now, it feels a bit as if he's fighting for attention with the background, colorwise. Subtlety can be very valuable.
Everything in the background is terrestrial, so there's nothing about it right now that says galactic to me, except for the alien. Is he on Earth or another planet? If it's the latter, I suggest changing the colors to make it look alien. You've already established that they're trees and bushes, which leaves some room for creativity, even if he's on Earth.
Your color ramps also seem random in how they change in hue and brightness. If the connection between two colors is not clear, it can make the image seem disjointed. Your brain has to try to figure out if they're parts of the same ramp or an entirely separate ramp.
Otherwise, I really like the design. Especially the asymmetrical head. :)
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working on that now
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vegetablelovechild.gif)
yeah, nothing really galactic going on, just a quick title
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/veggiepuss.gif)
still workin' on it. needs something non-boring in there somewhere, maybe a few non-shrub/tree/folliage things, still haven't decided what yet.
c+c appreaciated.
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there's something awkward about the gesture that just makes him feel like he's crammed in there, even though he should have plenty of space. follow that up with no real action or expression and a very static background and you've got a piece that, fo all the skill of the rendering/color choice etc, is about as disengaging as it gets. Your work has always been pretty static, but i think this is a case where that's really hurting the piece. just adding in junk isn't going to make the piece exciting, it's probably going to increase clutter, time spent and little else. you can have an electrifying piece showing half a wine cork if it's properly arranged on the page.
This is also a debatable point, since you're working with an alien, but most people don't like it when a head has no room in back for the brain. it's more visually discomforting than any of the other changes made to the body. If the composition was stronger that sort of thing might work better, but there's a lot of things adding up negatively when you have i think more skill than that.
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i admit the background is more of an afterthought, and unfortunately it shows. I've half a mind to scrap the background all together, maybe save it for a later piece or something.
I'm not sure if I intended it or it just reminded me of it afterwards do to the two elements not interacting with one another, but it's sort of got that rpg monster/generic background dependent upon terrain look going. At one point I even thought of making it a mockup.
I haven't been particularly happy with it either, I'll probably just do a big overhaul on the sprite and forget the current background (maybe use it as the an aforementioned generic rpg bg). If I do another bg, I'm thinking maybe doing his spaceship (either an entirely organic ship or a sort of mechanical ship overrun by plant life, kudzu/vines etc.).
just for kicks, here's the original sketch:
(http://www.landofbrokendreams.com/gallery/75923cabbagehed.gif)
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If you wanted to do something about the " cramped" feeling ndchristie was talking about, and I agree with, I think yes you should scrap the background for this piece( which is beautiful btw) and possibly have the canvas be of portrait orientation and maybe even of a 1:2 ratio? or if you were to keep a landscape orientation, somehow have elements that " trap" him in between? I have nothing to say of the pixel tech, I think its very fine as always.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vejtuble.gif)
scrapped the bg, going with the infested ship idea. just blocking everything out right now, i like it more thus far. didn't really like the portrait style canvas so i trapped him in, per ryumaru's suggestion.
redid the character a little so he isn't as static and boring, got the tentacle on the dash so he interacts with the environment a little and doesn't look as pasted in. i'll probably have him looking at the console in the next update, might do something with that other tentacle as well.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vejtuble.gif)
scrapped the bg, going with the infested ship idea. just blocking everything out right now, i like it more thus far. didn't really like the portrait style canvas so i trapped him in, per ryumaru's suggestion.
redid the character a little so he isn't as static and boring, got the tentacle on the dash so he interacts with the environment a little and doesn't look as pasted in. i'll probably have him looking at the console in the next update, might do something with that other tentacle as well.
Nice to see you really are working on this :) I like the new expression much beter. I have no crit on this piece just keep it up ;)
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desk was a smart choice, gives him a reason to tilt forwards.
palette should also be more friendly to him this time around
carry on :D
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vejtuble3.gif)
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This will look great when finished, I like the colors, but there a re a lot of big surfaces that might be hard to texturize.
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Maybe its just me but the door looks too small for him to fit through, the curves of the window/console make me think its a pretty small room, so even with the foreshortening its pretty small. Or maybe it just has some depth issues at this stage, I'm seeing the console touching the window, is that right? The pink spots don't really work for me, I thought it was just an attempt at mixing your ramps at first but apparently not, maybe darken them? And lastly some banding issues on (his) right shoulder thing, where it connects to the torso.
Keep at it, looks great.
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He's not made to fit the ship. He's a space pirate.
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Perhaps give our space pirate a shadow. I think it will really help unify the lighting, and tie him into his less saturated background.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vejtuble6.gif)
still a WIP
update:
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vejtuble7-1.gif)
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Shadow looks good!
On the more recent version, his tentacle looks like its just chillin there, and not really doing anything. perhaps give him something to hold? (coffee? lol)
also, the tentacle coming out of the door in the background looks out of perspective.
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mind that having a strong highlight you may need an adequate lightsource over the alien, like a breach on the ceiling of the ship.
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He stands out soo much from the background o.o in terms of contrast and etc.
but i love it, yeah that tentacle is a bit awkward with such a sharp turn but everything else looks great :] and the original sketch is very .. endearing ahah.
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Will the background get some black outlines like the old one? The alien stands out too much from the backround due to his black lines IMO.
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I think it's really nice, and I know it's still a wip, but you need to break up the flat shapes in the background more so that it can compare to the sprite. Right now the flat vs. broken up is keeping them too separated. Using the greenery was a very nice idea, and is working well. Maybe a lot more of that?
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vent at top middle is facing perpindicular to us yet is on a surface curving away from us, seems odd. Try some Venus Fly Traps growing among the infestation flora, or some other 'dangerous' plant-life. It's all too friendly-looking, like average forest shrubbery.
Does the alien have control over the plant growth? If it's popping holes in stuff it must be destroying circuitry/critical operational systems, which would therefore cause the ship to crash/blow up/whatever. Not a smart way to pirate a ship, right?
Is that orange light bouncing off the back of his tentacles?
And I agree, it's the outlining giving him that cartoony illustrative look, makes him stand-out from the environment which is more realistically shaded. I do like the differences though - the alien is curvy and natural, and the environment is square and boxy/technical.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vegif.gif)
I really haven't given up on this... just slowed down a bit.
C+C still appreciated
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This is awesome! It reminds me very much of Space Quest III :-) Don't stop.
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I'd like to see some moss covering some surfaces (such as glass), because it still looks quite clean. Vegetation could be popping out of grooves such as the sides of a screen or a board. I think you need to try and integrate your character to the background furthermore, by maybe adding a trail of goo or something from where he came from. I assume this character is the gardener, so I suggest you give him a tool in his other hand or something.
I really like that quirky character design, I'm waiting for more!
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update:
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/vegeetablay.gif)
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Omg I love this, Im going to be super picky but I don't really see any "high tech" stuff onboard this ship it kinda looks like a normal control room that we have now a days with a space view :crazy:
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Nice work, it looks really awesome. I like your color choices and my only critique was to get rid of the black outline, which you did a long time ago.
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Glad to see this is still going! It's got a lot of promise.
One thing that's been bothering me is that it looks so monochrome. I wasn't able to put my finger on it for quite some time, but when I went in to edit your pic in photoshop, a few color tweaks instantly revealed the problem to me.
I don't have much time to go in-depth here so I'm going to just give you my edit, and hope you can take what you can from it. I don't really doubt you can. Basically, I hacked in some more organic lighting and tried filling out the scene to look a little less vacant.
(http://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww13/pixelgroover/edits/cure_edit_8-19.png)
edit: also, as you can see, I tried to maintain the same color theme you have, but shifted the bg colors to better harmonize with alien. As you had them, they contained a lot of blues and browns, which go great together, but don't work nearly as well for bright greens and magentas. Overall it presented a general muddiness, and somehow detracted from the vibrant colors of the alien.
(http://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww13/pixelgroover/edits/cure_edit-8-19.png)
and one with the moon bringing back some of your older colors to contrast with the scene.
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Right now the moon has too much priority in the picture, it almost seems to be on the same level as the control thingie. i would darken it up a bit and have some reflections from the glass breaking it up a bit.
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still haven't given up yet.
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/zzz-1.gif)
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I liked it much better when it lacked the darker outlines, it seemed much smoother. I prefer it that way, but it's an artistic choice.
It's looking nice. I think the foliage in the corner could use some more attention, some parts lack a really organic feeling and don't really resemble leaves. Otherwise this is looking very nice and I'm looking forward to a finished product! Keep at it, man. :)
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I liked it much better when it lacked the darker outlines, it seemed much smoother. I prefer it that way, but it's an artistic choice.
Same here. I think the bright colors alone are good enough to make him stand out. Otherwise, it'd look more like a game mockup.
If you're going to heep him this way, the background might need some touches of black to balance this out.
I like this so much, I could even use the Wip as my desktop. Keep it up.
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I like it!
I like how the character is brighter and pops out while the background is sorta *bland (can't think of the right word right now). Lovely :)
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I have little to add regarding technique - it's been in my inspiration folder since the last rendition.
However, there is something bothering me about the facial-expression. I think my mind automatically wants to impose some narrative or context on the image, & the expression is impeding that... is he tired? Lethargic? Is he looking at the ceiling? Why?
That probably isn't the sort of crit you want at this stage, but it's the only thing stopping it from reaching full-potential in my view.
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trying to lighten up the outlines. other minor edits.
752etc- I agree, maybe having him look towards the window like so then adding a spaceship or something headed towards him?
I also feel it should read like a narrative, but the fact that it's a bg built up around a sprite does show through. Willing to make changes/quick fixes to correct this as best as possible, but probably won't be reworking anything major.
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/ipixelatanirregularpace.gif)
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Yeah, that's a good idea. The expression adapts to one of resignation-to-impending-doom surprisingly well. :y:
You could shape the looming spacecraft like a big locust, as a bit of Gary Larson style irony.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/000blablabla000.gif)
no huge changes yet
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I love this! ;D
A few points:
I didn't notice the planet until I saw some earlier wips. I think it's hidden by the glass reflections, and has values and hues too close to the ship's.
The door doesn't look spaceshiplike.
The vertical vine left of the door, and horizontal left of that and above the guy look too straight and simple.
The general light looks too even, and doesn't really read as a confined space. Might be better if there were patches of topdown light. I'd mostly darken the image top, parts of the floor and 'tabletop' (left corner mostly).
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/veggggg.gif)
started on that spaceship. i'm thinking space police, perhaps. fits the expression well.
ship still need a lot of work (or a complete overhaul) to look natural, I think.
all good points manupix. the vines were some copy+paste stuff to fill up space, but I forgot about this and have left them shoddy looking.
lighting has definitely been an issue, I'll see what I can do about that in the next update
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I think I preferred it when the alien was simply looking into space - the viewer could then make up their own mind as to why he's there and why he's so worried. Now that the police ship has been added I get the feeling it's not so subtle or dramatic and more blatently humorous. Not a bad thing, but it seems to me to be a large difference in the mood of the piece, and I wanted you to be sure you were heading in the right direction.
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I remain enthusiastic about the police-ship. I find it refreshing... to get the impression that I'm looking into a universe where characters interact & things occur, in contrast to the bulk of pixel-art & non-commercial art generally, which is too often characters standing in nondescript environments without interacting or showing discernible motivation.
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current:
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/duceduce.gif)
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Big compositional improvement with the lighting adjustment. The classic vignette effect is always so effective is channeling focus into the middle of the pic and reducing edge distractions. That's basically the principle you've applied in this edit. The big crazy manta ray thing is also no longer a distraction, I never understood it's purpose. How about some silhouetted flora around edges, maybe not entirely silhouetted but with some little highlights on edges for detailination.
Are you sure that top middle screen should be facing our POV so perfectly? Seems it ought to be set on more a curve still. The lower indented feature, in the panel just below it, is set on a curve, like I think the top middle screen should be. Also, the top left screen is crying out for a nice little highlight, it looks too matte, lacking reflectivity, it's glassy material isn't well-conveyed.
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(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g209/phototekcub/finalfinal.gif)
sorry for the long absences between posts. gonna call this finished today or tomorrow, open to any last-minute crits (major changes probably won't be integrated, but I'd be interested in hearing any regardless)
had 23 colors, so I threw in another to make an even 24.
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I think that dithering on the shaded part of the window right behind his head sticks out too much like it's unnecessary.
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fixed and uploaded to pixeljoint
(http://pixeljoint.com/files/icons/full/galacticgarden.gif)
I was getting antsy
still willing to make minor changes, but on the whole I'm calling this finished.