Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: Tremulant on April 12, 2007, 07:22:41 pm

Title: Modern Love [*Updated Again*]
Post by: Tremulant on April 12, 2007, 07:22:41 pm
After several centuries of reliance upon his trusty bow, cupid finally decided it was time to modernize.



These things take time.

Anyway, new stuff. Obviously still very much a WIP, but I thought I'd get help from an early stage this time. Looking for crits on anatomy, pose, colours (so far), etc.

I'm thinking I'm going to have to add a few colours, particularly to the girl's shirt, which is maybe slightly flat looking at the moment in comparison to the rest of the pic. But I might not. Anyway, that's what your opinions are for. :P So, uh... let's hear it!
Title: Re: Modern Love
Post by: alkaline on April 12, 2007, 07:38:03 pm
ooh, i like it. the colors are very good so far.


-the cupid seemed to shoot him from behind, but his wound is in front, yes?
-i'm not sure if i like how you did the girls legs. it just seems,.. kind of strange for this piece.
-a darker pool of blood maybe.

Title: Re: Modern Love
Post by: Alex on April 12, 2007, 07:48:00 pm
bloc party.

i like it a lot actually. cupid has never looked so gangster.

The guy is perfect as well. the way he is positioned is just so humorous. the blood on the shirt looks nice too.

im just having trouble adjusting to the girls legs...they are so. fat.

i dig it though. <3
Title: Re: Modern Love
Post by: The B.O.B. on April 12, 2007, 07:49:07 pm
I think the bullet came in the back, and out the front. It happens...

Also, Her right thigh is pretty damn big compared to her left thigh. Speaking of legs, her left foot looks like it's on the wrong plane. Should be further back than the other foot, if she is truly in that position. Her right breast also looks too much like a buff guy's pec, than a females. Usually, female breasts hang off the pectoral muscle, so to speak. Might want to check that out. I like the love shock of the guy, though. Heh, classic...

Great job, anyhow. Now update, slave, update Neeoooww!!
Title: Re: Modern Love
Post by: Sharm on April 12, 2007, 07:50:07 pm
The only way the girls legs would look like that is if she were wearing some very unflattering leggings, and she was on the chubby side.  Let the fabric be a bit looser and put some wrinkles in the knee area.
Title: Re: Modern Love
Post by: Feron on April 12, 2007, 08:38:09 pm
yes the biggest hole is on the front because entry wounds are tiny, whereas exit wounds are what covers the wall in blood and flesh.

a little bit of blood wouldnt go amiss on the back, but its looking great so far
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Tremulant on April 12, 2007, 10:31:13 pm
Update. I was working on it as the comments were coming in, obviously, and only just checked the thread now, so appy-polly-loggies if I didn't address some of the crits.. don't worry, though, it'll happen. :P

Alk: The wound thing I think everyone pretty much covered for me :P The girls legs I slimmed; seems to be a problem of mine, overly fat legs... Maybe it's some kind of subconscious fetish... Heh, either way, I'll have to work on that. And the blood... it's a temporary pool, since there'll be a background. I'll recolour to fit when all's done.

clr: Glad you like. ;D Hopefully the legs are better now (fatness-wise, that is... still need a lot of work on the shading, wrinkles and such).

B.O.B: I raised the foot, and I think I see the problem with the breast. The highlight is just way too high up right now. So I'll fix that. I'm glad you like the guy's expression, 'cause originally it was just a generic "oh good Christ, I've been shot in the spine" face as opposed to a love struck one.

Sharm: Again, hopefully they're better now. On a side note, if they aren't (I'm not so great at anatomy, and even less so at female anatomy), I always love edits. ;D

Feron: Good point (about the back-blood). I'll more than likely throw it in next update.

Thanks for all the crits, guys. Like I said (or... maybe I didn't, but anyway), this is still a pretty early WIP so keep the critique coming. For those who care, I'll be away until sometime later tomorrow so I won't be updating anymore at least till then. G'night.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Doppleganger on April 12, 2007, 11:11:10 pm
I think with the breasts, there's just too much definition going on. Afterall, she's wearing a hoody, which are usually good at hiding shapes. Indeed, the highlights are too high. If I were you, I'd create the breast area more like a fold/bump in the hoodie than actual breasts.

The wrinkles above the knees seem very unnatural. I'm not exactly sure how they'd come about in real life. The pants fabric would probably pull the folds of flesh tight and bulge a bit but, not wrinkle. Her left hip area is a good example of how it'd work, if you got rid of that really defined crease that is. Or at least shortened it's lenght and replaced it with some softer shading.

While we're at it, the head of the woman seems rather flat. The hair area anyways. I won't go in depth with that though.

Hopefully that helps.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Gil on April 12, 2007, 11:30:09 pm
- The guy's back foot needs shape, looks too thin
- Her right leg looks broken, I think the line will need to go straight down for it to work
- Saggy and slanted boobs
- Crotch looks a bit off-center, the zipper line might be too straight. Try slanting the zipper slightly
- Hoody's don't have normal collars, they have V collars. You can't have a functional hood that fits over your head without a V collar
- Her butt is too light, looks paperdolled
- Girl pants need contrast

Looking awesome as always, keep it up. Cupid, and the guy's face are pure gold btw...
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Feron on April 12, 2007, 11:43:04 pm
isn't cupid supposed to be bald?, for some reason his hair seems to take something away from his character, perhaps slightly bigger wings might look cool also.

i dont like how the smoke goes into the gun, it should begin from a point just above the end.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Soup on April 13, 2007, 01:32:10 am
Cupid is suberbly done.

I think that the
-pool of blood should be darker
-there should be a wound on the back
-the women thigs are odd, i don't know what to say on how to fix them
rest is amazing.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: vellan on April 13, 2007, 12:20:08 pm
the woman has a very manly body type - broad shoulders, wide rib cage, no hips. I am def. not saying make her barbie, but presently i think she comes off very stocky and beefy.

love the piece. has so much character.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Sharm on April 13, 2007, 04:52:48 pm
Here's the edit for the pants, and I moved the waist in a little to see if I could get rid of the manly proportions Vellan mentioned.


The folds go behind and under the knee.  I also took some of the taper off of the bottom, but that's a stylistic choice.  The dent in the hip area was extreme and did the most to contribute to the overly stretched look.  And I toned down some of the highlights on the knees.  Not the best edit, but hopefully it clarifies what I mean.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Wayuki on April 13, 2007, 08:57:39 pm
This is really a funny scene! I love it. The faces are adorable.  ;D

That said, I do agree with the others that the female's figure is really stocky and generally unatractive. The ribcage is really far too wide. The neck could stand to be one pixel taller and also a bit thinner. The breasts seem saggy mostly because the highlight is misplaced, it should be lower. The legs and hips are not necessarily too fat, but they are too bulgy. They need to be sleeker and taper more gradually towards the joints.

Also, clothes do not cling to the body like that, especially not a sweater and jeans. Make the clothes come away from the body a bit, or else they look like bodypaint. Get rid of all the muscle definition too, these type of clothes would not show that. In fact, she shouldn't even have that kind of definition if she was naked, it would make her look like a she-hulk. The muscle definition in her neck is definitely too much as well. Futhermore, the folds on the side of her body look kind of like muscle definition, I'd get rid of those altogether.

Another thing to note is that clothes will always stretch across the chest forming a "monoboob", unless the clothing item has modelled cups (like a bra or bustier).

The clothes could use some more realistic details as well, like folds, pockets and ribbed hems. Keep in mind where folds really happen, for instance you don't get folds above the knee at the front, but you do get folds at the back of the knee. I think you should give her shoes some soles as well, because they kind of look like socks.

And lastly... drainpipes are extremely unflattering unless you're sixteen years old and weigh a 100 pounds.  :D

Here's an edit to clarify my points:


@ Feron: Cupid is mostly portrayed with blonde curly hair, actually. I've never even seen a bald one.  :-X
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Update*]
Post by: Feron on April 13, 2007, 10:46:43 pm
@ Feron: Cupid is mostly portrayed with blonde curly hair, actually. I've never even seen a bald one.  :-X

yes, how right you are - i dunno why i thought that, probably my subconscious image of a baby.
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Updated Again*]
Post by: Tremulant on April 14, 2007, 04:48:58 pm
New update. Mostly worked on various parts of the girl, but also tweaked cupid a bit (note the curlified hair), added the back-blood and probably did some other minor stuff.

Dopple: I hopefully fixed the breasts, and jeans. As for the head, it's the back of the head that seems flat, yes? If that's the case then... I know. I'm working on it. Not that it should be too hard, just that I haven't gotten too it yet. Next update, hopefully.

Gil: Good points, all around. Hope I touched on all of them, but I think I at least picked up on the most important stuff. I'm not real clear on what you mean about the leg seeming broken. Hopefully I fixed it, but if I didn't... elaborate for the benefit of the dumb? :P

Feron: I messed with cupie's hair. I may play with the wings a bit, too, but haven't gotten around to that part of the picture yet. The smoke will probably change, too. At the moment, it's supposed to be flowing into a heart shape, but it does look a bit awkward. I'll play with it.

Soup: Think I touched on all of that, 'cept the blood-puddle which, as I mentioned, will stay as is until the background is done, at which point it will be altered to fit.

Vellan: Slimmed the girl down quite a bit (slighter build, thinner through the shoulders and ribcage). Also, I changed a lot based on Sharm's and Wayuki's edits.

Sharm: Thanks for the edit. It helped me to see what you were talking about. If they aren't completely fixed, I think the pants look better now, anyway.

Wayuki: Wow, that's a great edit. That said, I... pretty much copied your work on the pants (and to a slightly lesser extent, the hoodie) for the update. I still have some work to do, obviously, but thanks in large part to your edit (and the accompanying crits), I think the girl's improved quite a bit.

Thanks very much for the crits and edits, guys. As always, it's greatly appreciated and incredibly helpful. right now, I think the biggest problem I'm having is deciding on a background... I'm... not so good at coming up with interesting backgrounds. I was thinking like, a generic-ish city park, but I dunno. Might end up being a bit dull? Whatever. Suggestions, as always, are very much welcome. Oh, and the rest is far from done, too, so many more crits, please!
Title: Re: Modern Love [*Updated Again*]
Post by: Ryumaru on April 14, 2007, 06:37:07 pm
why no shine on the blood?
i really like it, you always pump out heavenly shit like this.