Pixelation
Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: Turbo on March 15, 2007, 03:03:59 pm
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(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/haunted_girl_port.png)
Thoughts, advice?
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Very cool, I love colour choices and the details. Especially around the eye sockets... It's not exactly reading like a girl to me so far though. I thought it was a guy with long hair until I remembered the title. The lips look rather flat so far and the eyes seem a bit too small.
I can tell that this is going to be absolutely amazing when finished.
-Fry
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/joshastorian/editstuff.gif)
I'm not so good at critiquing with words so I decided to do a quick edit. The main beefs I had with this were the color choices and the facial structure. Like fry said, she looks a bit manly. Also, I upped the contrast and made the hue shifts a bit more pleasing to the eye imo.
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Is that some purple shadows? :P
Turbo: Joshua's edit brings about some good points on the lower half of the face. To me, the nose seems a little flat, and short, vertically. The lips and chin are unnaturally long horizontally. the very edges of your lips fall roughly in the center of your eye, on a vertical line. Also, as shown in Joshua's edit, there is a lack of depth to the general mouth area, and the little darker spots at the edges of the lips help establish more volume to the area. (i guess you'd call 'em dimples? iunno.)
It looks like she's got some dip in her lower lip, to put it simply. I'd round the highlight on the chin more, to give her a more feminine jaw.
I really like the way the upper portion of the face looks, though, the eyes are very emotive. Other than these small issues, it really comes down to the palette, which was also addressed.
Good luck with the piece, it has wonderful potential.
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What's what's what's with the odd neck position? It ruins this a bit by being 'whacky'. I don't think you need that.
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Fry: Anatomy crits are helpful, i'll work on girlifying her more. I didn't want to give her a look that's too pretty, but don't want her to be a man either.
Joshua: that's a great edit! I like how different it looks, the palette pops out a lot more than mine, and i agree that it's more pleasant. I'm a bit timid with hue variations, still getting there, but you show it well here. I'll take it into account (though i want to keep a pale and slightly colder look, not so much pinks and purples). The anatomy on your edit is quite solid, though it strays in keeping the expression i'm going for, slightly angry/hurt, yours somehow looks happier. But it definitely helps, i'll take is as reference.
Stwelin:
The lips and chin are unnaturally long horizontally. the very edges of your lips fall roughly in the center of your eye, on a vertical line.
I durr, forgot basic anatomy. Due to accumulated rust. Joshua's edit made me see that. Thanks for the heads up :)
I kinda liked the lips, but since everyone's complaining, i'll rework them, maybe add another color there (or a few more). Yeah, regarding the nose being flat, it looked like it didn't pop out enough at first, i tweaked a bit and thought it ok but i'll go at it some more.
Helm: yeah, the neck thing's from the original idea for this... Initially I was going to make a portrait for a King of Spriters character, but as i went on i didn't stick to the genre style too much, and liked this outcome better. The neck is from the initial idea though, she has a long neck and bad posture. To be altered. Nice tip thar :)
I'll work on this some more later, and update when i get the chance. Thanks for the help and encouragement.
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(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/haunted_girl_port_3.png)
Made some general tweaks, still working on the lips and chin. Palette better now? Don't want to go as drastic as Joshua... The eyes don't seem to be looking at us anymore, need to check that.
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(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/haunted_girl_port_3_2.png)
Face pretty much done, except some more work on the chin. Starting on the hair next. I enjoy doing ears :)
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Looks great! It looks too much like a gradient to me maybe because it's the dithering that's doing it. I'd fixed it up a bit.
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Have a couple of unfinished pieces I'm working on, this is one of them.
(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/haunted_girl_port_4.png)
I tweaked the face and everything else, really. Added hair highlights. I'll just be doing the lower part of the hair before i call it finished.
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(http://www.locustleaves.com/haunted_girl_port_4.png) (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/haunted_girl_port_4.png)
minor neck edit and experimental colors just for a different spin. I really like this.
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hair is rather sculpted even for wet hair, it reminds me of a figurine. I'd try rendering more strands and not binding them all into such rigid clumps.
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Why thank you! Helm, I like the warmer tints on that palette edit, not so sure about the opposite hue highlights. I'll try to figure out something along those lines.
Adarias, about the hair, i'll get on it. It's supposed to be oily and therefore clumped, but i'll de-clump it a bit, sure could use some declumpment.
Thanks for the help!
Edit: new palette. Which do you like best?
(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/Pixel%20Art/haunted_girl_port_5.png) -- or -- (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/haunted_girl_port_4.png)
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The new palette is much cooler, IMO.
I think the problem with the hair is that it's, as Adarias said, quite sculpted. Since it is so sculpted to the skull, the areas in back make it look like she's got an irregularly shaped skull. It protrudes out far too much. I think it even goes so far as to ruin the rest of the perspective. Either add more body to the hair to match what you have in the back or bring in the hair in back a bit. More shaped to the skull, y'know.
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it looked like to me that the shape of the skull was intended to fit with the slightly stretched facial features. i actually dont see anything unappealing about the hair at all.
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I second Ryumaru's comment. Looks like she's just risen out of a swamp or something.
I don't like the random dithering/broken lines in the hair though. Doesn't suit it at all.
I really liked the amount of green Helm put into the lightest skin tone, as well as the more saturated second lightest skin tone, and I think you should play around with that.
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At the moment, the lips look like they would be viewed from a straight view. I think this image is pretty close to the angle you're doing:
(http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/8630/23469113ua7.jpg)
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(http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/5390/tempdl0.gif)
First picture is meant to address the proportion critiques: i think i have the skull proportions correct. I honestly can't really see any deformation or irregularities.
The hair dithering is how i'm able to do the several shades of hair without adding further colors, can't get that look without doing it. I don't think it's very noticeable, at least not on my screen at 1x.
The second and third images refer to Khris' comment. That pose is close, but mine is not as tilted up, eye level is at ours, with a slight chin tilt upwards. More upper lip is visible from your reference at that angle, and the model has bigger lips. I was going for smaller tight lips, while still young girlish ones.
As for the green for the highlight, i think it reduces the whole contrast, and changes the lightsource completely, losing the harsh pale lighting tone i wanted. As for the second tone, i tried some warmer colors but it needs to be at a somewhat inbetween color between the brightest highlight and the next warmer color, otherwise it doesn't look as good, as whole. So it's at a yellow-peach.
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Sorry I hadn't just made this edit when I originally posted:
(http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/5003/turboeditua2.gif)
The lips in yours looked more like they were coming from someone facing the viewer. They seemed a bit long and angular along with having a few oddities in shape, which I was hoping you would see, regardless of the slight difference in pose in the reference image. I also edited the (her) left side of the face that we can see. Seemed a bit too straight to me.
My edit's not perfect, but hopefully this will help you understand what I was talking about with the lips.
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That edit certainly makes things less weird. I don't know if that's good or bad though.
To be honest, I think that straighter face kind of creeped me out. I don't know if that's good or bad either though.
I guess they both have their charm. I must say that she looks far less haunted in the edit.
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That edit certainly makes things less weird. I don't know if that's good or bad though.
To be honest, I think that straighter face kind of creeped me out. I don't know if that's good or bad either though.
I guess they both have their charm. I must say that she looks far less haunted in the edit.
Agreed. Also, Addressing the hair issue, I think the hair looks sickly, and clumped together, which in my opinion adds very well to the apearence of the girl being haunted..and unwell. But, that could just be me.
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Khris: oh sorry, i thought you meant the perspective. You're totally right, something was bothering me about the lips and you figured it out. The chin and area around the mouth are a bit too extremely changed in your edit, it's a bit more "girl+pretty"-fied (but not too much), i'll try to come up with something similar, correct but keeping the anatomy i had in mind... and the hauntedness :). Thanks.
Malor and Doppleganger: nice to hear it freaks you guys a bit, it's the intended purpose :) I'll try to keep it freaky while somewhat more anatomically correct the next time.
On the hair, i'm trying to come up with something in between, pasty and oily while not as sculpture looking. But always keeping that original look in mind. Thanks for the comments.
edit:
(http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f291/TurboLento/Pixel%20Art/haunted_girl_port_6.png)
Hope i've addressed these issues. The mouth/lip thing is subtle but i think is fixed. The top hair area is kind of muddled, but i'm not going to touch it anymore. Sick of hair for now :P
edit 2: people at pixeljoint critted the chin, i changed it a bit:
(http://pixeljoint.com/files/icons/full/haunted_girl_port_6_2.png)
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I personally found the bigger chin more appealing. Both face-types are realistic and could exist, so it's up to you to choose which one you want to go with.
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you have improved a LOT! the first one looked like michelle jackson! :D
This is a bit out of my league, good luck.
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Thanks, guys. I wasn't too sure about changing the chin, i kind of liked it but since i heard several critiques on it i though better to go with democracy. When changing I tried to keep it, as always, close to what i envisioned.
Thanks for all the help, this improved quite a bit :)