Pixelation

Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: secretcat on September 09, 2016, 03:59:22 pm

Title: Help with my title screen
Post by: secretcat on September 09, 2016, 03:59:22 pm
(http://imgur.com/a/7aYi5)

Hey all! I'm new here and I was hoping I could get some feedback on the title screen for a game I am making.

The one thing I really want feedback on is that the tentacle is meant to look nebulous, like it could almost be made out of gas or liquid but is all held together anyway.

I'm pretty new to pixel art, so any feedback is more than welcome :)

Thanks
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: MysteryMeat on September 09, 2016, 05:40:38 pm
Broken image, friend!
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: secretcat on September 09, 2016, 06:06:54 pm
oh dear! I uploaded my picture to imgur but it doesn't seem to be working when I post the link on here. I have no idea why :(
the link to imgur is here:
 http://imgur.com/a/gOUO8 (http://imgur.com/a/gOUO8)
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: wzl on September 09, 2016, 06:29:26 pm
you pasted the imgur url, not the image url.

See this thread for more info (http://pixelation.org/index.php?topic=3466.0)
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: MysteryMeat on September 09, 2016, 08:22:05 pm
The ocean is too flat, took me way too long to figure out the tentacle was coming out of it. The overall composition is a bit iffy, try to tweak that empty space on the left to guide the eyes more towards the spire.

For example, you could have the title breaching from the water with the larger words under to imply a sort of "tip of the iceberg" feel. I am on mobile right now but will post a mockup of what i mean soon.
Ideally you want to avoid boring empty space, though.
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: MysteryMeat on September 10, 2016, 02:05:38 am
AIGHT! I'm here with a (very) rough outline of what I mean.
(http://imgur.com/9bSPfZS.png)
What I did here differently from yours is I put a bit more focus on the tentacles and ssubmersion, with the waves serving as a visual guide towards the text and tentacles under the water. I was a bit lost for what to do with the second line (probably should have just expanded the canvas) but hopefully this gives you some more ideas.

This isn't the GREATEST example of composition (it's something I myself am still figuring out, and it can be simultaneously highly specific and incredibly vague), with how unbalanced it is, but there's a few things I adhere to. Rule of thirds, sight rails (not sure the proper term, it's what I call it), and the use of contrast to pull on the eye.

For the former, rule of thirds is a thing I learned in photography, and is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thirds
The second is something you can see on the tentacles here. I specifically bent the two biggest ones to lead into each other, drawing the eye down from the one on the bottom left into the tall one on the right, up to the spire, then over to the text (kinda flubbed that last bit, unfortunately.)
I also gave them a specific shade of purple to offset from the blues of the ocean shadows, to further draw the eye. There's other visual effects I did too, like the lighting along the "leading edge" of the water surface to give the impression of a half-submerged camera and some mild 3d space to the water surface, but the primary thing I want to focus on are those things.

I do stress again though, I was lazy with this. The use of white for the light muddied up the readability of the text, which also should have been done in a better color to further contrast against the water riding down off the title and pull the eye towards it. A reddish browny-earthy hue might have worked for that, but alas. I also was INCREDIBLY lazy on the storm clouds, and initially planned to put in rain too, but alas.
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: secretcat on September 10, 2016, 03:24:54 pm
Wow thanks for the pointers, I will try and work on the composition :)
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: secretcat on September 10, 2016, 03:28:15 pm
Also, sorry all for not working the image post correctly!
(http://i.imgur.com/MhAi0xh.png)
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: secretcat on September 14, 2016, 04:57:29 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/SMrIQw4.png)

I redid the drawing based off of the feedback, is this better?
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: MysteryMeat on September 14, 2016, 06:46:02 pm
MUCH better! Great detail s on the water especially! There's room for more details, but as it is it looks perfectly fine too.
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: secretcat on September 14, 2016, 06:59:46 pm
Thanks!

I will definitely think about whether putting more details in would make it "messy" or not for a start screen. Especially as the setting for the spire - it isn't sky above it's surrounded by a city which is topped by caves.

Thanks so much for your help!
Title: Re: Help with my title screen
Post by: MysteryMeat on September 14, 2016, 08:47:14 pm
You bet! And a good way to do that is to work with low-contrast shapes, adds that extra bit to look at without taking away from the focus of the picture!