Pixelation

Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: sonicspin on January 04, 2016, 02:16:24 pm

Title: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: sonicspin on January 04, 2016, 02:16:24 pm

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Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Seiseki on January 04, 2016, 02:30:49 pm

It's a bit wonky and the shading is kinda flat.
I think the outline is very harsh too.

I really like the style and palette!  :y:

Edit: I tried to fix some of the shading and proportions by drawing in rough blotches..
Gave her thumb gloves (I can't draw hands :'()

(http://share.cherrytree.at/showfile-23339/btononu2.png)(http://share.cherrytree.at/showfile-23340/btononu2.gif)

This was really just a way for me to get some practice, I hope it's helpful.
I think you're doing line work and then shading it, so you should try doing the shading first, it helps with the volume and keeping a light source in mind..

Don't be afraid to make some big changes, use a bigger brush and clean it up after you've gotten the general shape down..

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: sonicspin on January 05, 2016, 10:07:08 pm

x

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Zia on January 06, 2016, 07:12:04 am

I feel like she'd be a lot more proportional if you made her torso about half as tall, like so:

(http://i.imgur.com/06bU0Mm.png)

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Gil on January 06, 2016, 10:35:11 am

I always use something I call the "pocket test". I try to mentally make the character put his/her hands into where the pant pockets would be. When standing up, you can just about reach those. If that seems an impossible task (like in the original sprite AND Zia's latest edit), then you need to either make the arms longer or the torso shorter. Zia made the torso shorter, but he also made the arms about half as long as the legs (as in, she'd look REALLY weird naked).

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Ambivorous on January 06, 2016, 10:43:01 am

Sooooo, proportionality.
I've stuck all the edits next to each other and drawn, in beautiful magenta, some stick figures over them.

(http://i.imgur.com/tThXQvI.gif)

So while your new edit certainly improves upon a lot of things, it also has a worse pose and proportions.

Note that Seiseki's edit uses your belt to just hang over the bottom of her butt. It's not actually a belt at this point and more like a ring in a different colour. This was an interpretation of your original edit where you could imagine it looks like she's wearing a belt below her ass, and then the dress does crazy things once it's free.

Enter your edit.
Here we see you've fallen back into the idea that the belt is a belt and her butt is below it, but this makes her torso look hella long and her legs very short. Zia interpreted this as a chibi character and so left the legs short, but shortened the torso and arms significantly to get her more proportional (though as Gil points out, perhaps a little too short).
I added one last edit to this example just to show her with a more regular body shape.

One other thing is that Seiseki's edit has a lot more "character" in her stance. The arms are pulled back, the chest is pushed forward and the hips are further apart and facing the screen more. This gives her much more of a presence and personality.
Try imagining what kind of personality you would like her to have and then work out how she would stand based on that. Practice in the mirror a bit to really see some examples and get the proportions right (if you're a guy just remember that girls have shoulders that are only about 3/4 the size of your own and very small rib cages).

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Seiseki on January 06, 2016, 12:35:29 pm

I like where this thread is going!  :y:

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: PixelPiledriver on January 06, 2016, 05:13:40 pm

Cute colors.
The image could be improved in other ways.
But here's some design thoughts.
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ns4-jFQeO_0/Vo1Kk34ilUI/AAAAAAAAAvA/7W7rOtzENYY/s1600/witchGirl_7.png) (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B6HP7Xa3t1o/Vo1Kk_dTnDI/AAAAAAAAAu8/rcMnBv84LNQ/s1600/witchGirl_frames.gif)

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: sonicspin on January 06, 2016, 11:48:56 pm

Quote from: Ambivorous on January 06, 2016, 10:43:01 am

Helpful things

Quote from: PixelPiledriver on January 06, 2016, 05:13:40 pm

helpful edit

Quote from: Zia on January 06, 2016, 07:12:04 am

another helpful edit

(http://i.imgur.com/HZuQvyK.png)
another revision, hopefully fixed more things (and now the belt is a belt!)

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Seiseki on January 07, 2016, 12:34:52 am

Awesome new boots! I like the way the dress bends around the legs, but it feels a bit cramped on her right leg..
I think the shading is a bit unclear on the hat and her shoulder thing(what are those called?), you soften it too much around the edges while the rest is a solid color.
The light seems to be coming from the top right, so you could try darkening the part of the shoulder cloth that hangs over her chest.

PPDs edit conveys the shapes through really simple but straight forward shading.

And, I think the first edition of her face was better, where it was more at an angle (one eye being slightly more narrow), more puffy cheeks and bigger hair..
The new face feels a bit compressed, and the line under her jaw makes it quite straight..

Quick edit: Kinda inconsistent shading, but a bit clearer?

(http://share.cherrytree.at/showfile-23354/witchgirl.png)

The folds on her dress look more like it's ripped.
Maybe because it's rounded?

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: Friend on January 07, 2016, 12:50:07 am

*seiseki's new edit is the last comment on page 1, just to make sure you dont miss it*

this is so great, lots to learn from this.  huge improvement in believability in capturing her human form, though you can take this much further.  that's great news, because not only are you doing well, but you have lots of room to improve which will be fun

-neck area is uncontrolled, either the head position is too far to th left, or the perspective of the neck sould be more downturned towards us, having the collar wrap around her head.  it kinda looks like we are seeing the collar head on.  sorry if this isnt explained well.  try to visualize the neck area more.  try to imagine your hands can reach into the screen and feel your character.  feel the neck area.  why does it feel off?

-the arm not holding the broom seems broken at the elbow
------

for the design of the character, it's kinda a step backwards.   

1.) the color distribution is a lil funky.  the bright green overpowers everything.  note how ppd used it as an accent color.  note how ppd uses colors in ways that make everything super crisp and stand out but everything is well balanced.  you have beautiful colors here, now you just need to use them more wisely.  doesn't mean be boring with your colors.  actually the opposite.  you have awesome yellows and purples, and ppd saw it.  he also saw most of your sprite is blue.  so doing the broom in purple and yellow just pops so well. 

2.) your silhouette lacks punch and character in my opinion.


(http://i.imgur.com/ZI8JkKc.png)

  yours is just kinda generic and you can easily fit all of her into a rectangle.  but it seems you're trying for more of a dynamic pose, which makes the plain boxy silhouette more of an issue.  if the character read as a tall, lanky,funnily rectangular figure, the rectangular silhouette could be embraced and look awesome. 

ppd adds a bunch of curves and crossing lines and even a cat thrown in that give form and LIFE to the silhouette- the hat curvers to the right, the broom makes a long clear angled line cutting through the less angled body line, the cat's gaze crosses in an X with the broom, and if you follow the curve of the hat to the arms, it makes nice S shapes curves.  All of the curves and angles just add character and life.

while it is true you also have curves, they arent dramatic enough to add dynamism to your sillhouette.  another thing is looking at the silhouette, it is very easy to guess what we are looking at in ppd's version, but yours is a little trickier.  try making your silhouette more readable and i think thatll improve your design.  dont be afraid to be bold and crazy with design.  i draw special attention to her broom, since it is hard to tell what it is in your  new version

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: StarRaven on January 08, 2016, 02:20:42 am

It seems like people gave you a lot of good edits to work with, but I wanted to talk about why your original wasn't really working out so here you go! Plus a bonus doodle because I sat on this for a million years until it was barely relevant anymore. ;_; My edit isn't very polished but I hope you can take something useful away from it!

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17067479/edit/bewitched.png)(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17067479/edit/bewitched.gif)
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17067479/edit/bewitch.png)

Title: Re: bewitching [c+c]
Post by: sonicspin on January 10, 2016, 12:56:24 am

Ah ah very heplful posts!!
But I cant píxel till late monday, so, "reserving" this post for hopefully Tuesday, where I will be able  to draw some new versión!
StarRaven, your edit is very pretty and a heplful post!
Friend, many thanks to you for taking so much time helping, same for Seikeki!
EDIT: seems i will hold off this draw for a while till get gooder, will make new thread when i feel ready