Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: Cyangmou on January 06, 2015, 10:28:27 am
Title: 4th iteration
Post by: Cyangmou on January 06, 2015, 10:28:27 am
Well I have had enough with the quick experiments. THanks for all the crits and comments so far. Looking through all edits and everything and having all the choices makes decision-making a lot easier. I did a wrap-up version now, with pretty less experimenting compared to what was already there. I tried to convey even more of the strengths, went this time like with the first sprite from my personal preferences, also keeping it perfectly usable for the chatterbox scene.
Nonetheless I tried to keet the same approach for animation like with the third iteration (no outline, bigger clusters).
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip13dujg.png)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: RAV on January 06, 2015, 04:21:32 pm
Was awesome following through the experiments. And I personally think you just about nailed it on the last. I like on that pose that it fits to her... job in the backround story, ahem... sorta offering, and luring in the customers. :) That's how you first meet her anyway, I suppose. :D While the sleeker armor on the shin just implies a bit combat/defense potential, so she's good to go.
P.S. Like a thorny rose!
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Gil on January 06, 2015, 07:17:35 pm
Looks great man, good job
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: JoeCreates on January 06, 2015, 07:49:26 pm
This is the best yet. Face looks good. You have the best bits of the costume and the textures are nice. The pose works, and the style is very clean. I love it!
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Mr. Fahrenheit on January 06, 2015, 10:29:12 pm
Looks great! A nice medium between all the iterations. My only problem I saw is the lines indicating her breasts on her chest seem a little thick, but idk. And the bangs look a little weird, too separated and a little banded too. Great job man!
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Decroded on January 07, 2015, 01:41:11 am
Wow yeah nice cyan :y: I only have time to glance at this on my phone but this had an instant impact when I saw it as ur doing something right
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Cyangmou on January 07, 2015, 08:01:00 pm
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip3uzso2.png)
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip_changese3set.gif)
Thanks guys. I did a lot of small detail improvements, check out the spoiler. main edits happened in the hair, in the lighting situation of some important parts and I moved up the boobies, since they felt by far to low for the corset.
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: PixelPiledriver on January 08, 2015, 12:02:45 am
Call me weird, but the armpit bothers me a little. Maybe use 1 more darker value in a very selective manner.
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Night on January 08, 2015, 06:15:56 pm
Can definitely relate to what PixelPiledriver is saying, to me it seems that there's not enough emphasis put on the line that is created by both the boob and pectoral muscle.
The waist area, despite the corset effecting it in mind, seems really weird to me. I think it's mainly because of the bump that seems to be a hipbone (which is way too high and "in front" for a lack of a better word), but secondly also because of the belt thingies on her stomach. I understand that the straps are supposed to be slightly out of the belt buckles, but it looks really confusing like this; almost as if the whole belt is warped downwards awkwardly. I would suggest to tune down down the yellow highlight, if not eliminate the whole loose strap part of it altogether.
Still with the waist, the middle green-ish part of the corset doesn't look quite right in my eyes, this is to do with what I mentioned regarding the belts but also with what I referred to as being too "in-front" earlier (part of the dress that looks like a hipbone). I'll try to explain it like this (I'll also show this in an edit further in) but the bump created in there (and the consideration that the dress and corset are symmetrical) implies that the green part needs to curve inwards as it goes down with another bump on the left side created next to it. Easiest way to fix that would be to simply make it straight (ofc if needed make it curve with alignment to the body). Small detail that I noticed around the waist but not quite sure what it is, is somewhat like flower decorations(?), could do with some more adjusting but idk.
A bit of input on the arms; the front hand, while I don't considering anything to be particularly wrong seems to me that it touches the hipbone too lightly, almost like it's slightly floating above it. A small thing that I would suggest to do is add a shadow to the side of the humerus bone that is seen (the shoulder basically) to imply that it's facing the front better (you'll see what I mean better in the edit). With the rear arm there's a tiny mistake with the arm's anatomy (nothing too big mind you, its shape is just too "sausagy") and also the wrinkles that are created in-between the upper and lower arm aren't quite right. (http://i.imgur.com/0WLbX42.png)
The legs is the part I'm truly sure about, I made a skeleton illustration to help show what I mean. Currently the problem I have with the legs, or just front leg I suppose, is that the lower limb seems to go too back (or too to the right from the front view) and that gives it a really over-the-top elongated feel; it causes the two limbs to look like they're of the same length. (http://i.imgur.com/LaPIgNR.gif)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Cyangmou on January 08, 2015, 07:38:54 pm
yeah also can relate to what ppd was saying. I actually went out to search a ref. While your edit is from a constructive approach more on spot there night, it's more like the muscles would look, although there is a bump of fat if the arm is moved like that. Also emphasized the shadows.
I actually went and got other refs, for some troublespots like the raised arm (elbow, lower line) and the corset. Did also quite some editing there.
With the length of the leg I rather guess it's a minor proportional inconsistency, which has a bigger effect through the perspective.
For the hand I really liked the playful quality. It's not really supporting, but I guess it's also more a provoking part, which goes well in line with her character.
Didn't go over the wrinkles of the raised arm right now, just overread that. Will do it later.
Guess a lot of details got changed which overall make a much better impression.
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip5q7sbq.png)
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip_changes2gqsh1.gif)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: wolfenoctis on January 09, 2015, 07:40:58 am
Night makes some great points, here are my thoughts(mainly on the corset): (http://i57.tinypic.com/2h4dhlt.gif)
I think when you raised the breasts you took it a touch too far :-X
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Cyangmou on January 09, 2015, 12:24:01 pm
after going over stuff with wolf I guess I nailed the wrong looking parts of the corset, which all playe somewhat together. Now the overall length of it is a bit shorter, the strap position is slightly different and the bulge and waistline are different in terms of the proportion relationship.
Then I apllied a few minor detail improvements here and there and I think it's now overall polished enough.
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip6nzbea.png)
(http://abload.de/img/v4_wip_changes3dqkid.gif)
Here a direct comparison with the old version (which both use the new colors - for better comparison)
(http://abload.de/img/typewriter_mockupsbxc4.png)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Probo on January 09, 2015, 08:06:02 pm
I had a go at editing the lat/shoulder/trap area, heres a gif
(http://i.imgur.com/AK5HtxS.gif)
I feel like more light should be hitting it
oh and i made the mole one pixel, didnt feel you need the AA? looked almost like a hairy mole!
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Cyangmou on January 11, 2015, 12:34:16 pm
@Probo. Best thing is how you seperated the dark plane, that's the good thing in it.
However shading wise you adfd there a lot of pillowed bands and the upper arm which receds in space looks now flat to the side and by far to short. You also removed a lot of the corset effect. Might need to be a tad slighter than in my current version, but not as extreme as in yours.
Thanks for taking the time to write a crit.
last version so far:
(http://abload.de/img/creya_v4_2joucl.png)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: AlcopopStar on January 11, 2015, 01:26:05 pm
Lovely work as always Cyangmou,
I had a pass at adding some more structure and expression to the face. I may have sacrificed some of the faces roundness in the progress however (i'm not sure how integral to the character that is)
Not a perfect edit in every direction, but hopefully one or two of the changes help.
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: ErekT on January 11, 2015, 01:34:52 pm
Just wanted to say great iteration and that AlcopopStar's face edit really brings more life and sense of personality into the character.
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Probo on January 11, 2015, 05:00:55 pm
ah! i didnt realise the arm was recessed down behind her, i got the impression its in the 'normal' hand-on-your hips position: jutting out and ever-so-slightly angled backwards from the model, but then her whole body angle brings it forward and into light.
alcopop your edit definitely looks even more feminine, shaved jawline et al!
edit> Night's edit on the previous page pretty much nails that withdrawn arm i think, although maybe the cuff would wrap differently?
edits of edits inbound
(http://i.imgur.com/0ETZjEh.gif)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Cyangmou on January 12, 2015, 12:21:49 pm
Not a perfect edit in every direction, but hopefully one or two of the changes help.
Agree, but definitely a really helpful pointer. It has a few things I really like and a few things I considered to drop.
First of all: the cuteness and roundness of the characters face is very elementary - I don't want to sacrifice that at any cost, since quite some work went into it. Most changes for those cuteness things ar ejust a few pixels, sometimes even a difference of a shade in the right spot changes the impression a lot. Which makes it really hard to guess what's right and a lot comes down to playing around.
I made a lil chart where I applied the changes from what seemed important to me.
(http://abload.de/img/faceditw8j8o.gif)
1 - original face from the last version 2 - added there shadow at the eye, but don't added the shadows close the nose which make the nose a lot less cute. 3 - you added highlights in the eyes, I liked the idea, don't liked you clusters, came up with a solution which adds a similar effect. 4 - which is most probably the biggest change - the jawline. Mine made her looking fat. Also from some skull studies I did over the last days I can freely agree that mine was quite off - also moved the ear up. 5 - lips - I liked how you changed the main-line, don't like how flat yours looked. Edited that as well. Also you added thare a single brown pixel in the corner of the mouth - had this one in the first version, but it makes it happier looking, but also more unsharp - left tha tone consciously out. 6 - little shadow beneath the eye from the cheekbone - unsure about that one actually, but I have the feeling it adds something 7 - the rounder shape of the eyebrows was nice, make the eyes even look rounder and cuter.
what I disliked: really thick eyebrows, the sharp chin and the decreased size of the head. This are all things which significantly take away from the intention and therefore i dropped those suggestions. All in all a really nice edit I appreciated a lot.
Also edited the cast-shadow, the arm on the hip (hope it looks clearer now Probo) and a few other really small things.
(http://abload.de/img/creya_v4_4mnjav.png)
-----
and another edit with an extented chin and a few more lil changes:
(http://abload.de/img/creya_v4_5g1u8i.png)
Title: Re: 4th iteration
Post by: Kosvid on January 14, 2015, 03:48:50 am
Quote
and another edit with an extented chin and a few more lil changes
The small chin is better, imo. With extended one you lose a bit of the "elementary cuteness".
Marvelous work. I wonder how many characters we are going to see here.