Pixelation
Critique => Pixel Art => Topic started by: brianskywalker on January 28, 2008, 05:19:33 am
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(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup.gif)
This is my first game mockup ever. for practice, but if it turns out nice then I'll consider making a homebrew game. I'm really not sure about the background, I might do some AA on it since it's not very easy to get something like that to look smooth enough without it. really not enough contrast between the character and the bg either. I might outline the character or change the bg to fix it.
meh the character isn't that great either.
Anyways critiques would be awesome. (Imma add more stuff and enemies soon, but I really need to sleep now. X.x)
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Latest version + WIP:
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup8.png) (http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/WIPstage2.gif)
Also another mockup:
new: (http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/stage3mockup2.png) old: (http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/stage3mockup.png)
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Well I don't have much critique yet since it's so wip, but I just wanted to say it's a really, really awesome style and I can't wait to see the progress.
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I love the style you've chosen. Not to often do you see cartoon mock-ups like this. My one and only crit would be the ground. Maybe try something with more depth rather than just squares. Seems a bit messy too, but it's still a wip so it's hard to crit. Good luck.
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Thanks guys.
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup2.gif)
Well I haven't really added anything yet. I messed with the palette a bit here and I tried to make the guy's position look a bit more natural. I'm trying something different with the shading on the sand. I tested some dithering in the bottom left corner, not sure if I like it or not. Thoughts?
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Okay, so i've broken the style a little, but you may want to consider some of this stuff.
(http://www.maj.com/gallery/exendia/Misc/0000000000000000000000mockup.bmp)
changes:
1 i AAed the background a little.
2 i thought the characters leg position was a little extreme, so i changed it and made the legs shorter and thicker.
3 Changed the text and heart on the top a little.
4 Added a shadow below the character. I know it's horribly inaccurate, but you get the point.
Besides though, i LOVE the idea. an actual game like this would be awesome.
Keep up the good work. :D
EDIT:
the dithering works. Go with it.
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I prefered the orange, but there'd be a problem making the character out from the background.
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I also prefer the original version. I loved the comical and whimsical nature of his running style and the crazy extension of his arms - now it just looks awkward in my opinion.
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I love the look of the first version, both the color sheme and the character, looks very cartoony and full of movement. No a big fan about the dirt effect, but it's interesting to see some zany effects for floor :)
The shadow on the second looks pretty interesting, would be nice to have it match the character's animation (if this were to be done, hipothetically).
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I also liked the original version better. I had been trying to find an orange bg color that would also make the character readable, but I couldn't get one that wasn't really gross and unsaturated.
@coran Thanks for the ideas. The AA in your edit made the bg look worse I think. My AA probably isn't that great either though.
Anyways heres my new version:
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup3.gif)
I changed the palette quite a bit here. I'm using a redder ground color and went back to the pink I had originally. The bg is now AAed as well. It's still not as smooth as it could be, but it's better! I changed the HUD quite a bit. In general it's just smaller, and opens up the top a bit making the sky seem a little bigger. I wanted to add a shadow but I'm actually not sure how it should go, because the sand isn't exactly flat, and if this does actually get made into a game, I will probably have to figure out a shadow that will look good everywhere. (At least in this sandy area, anyways.)
I didn't finish the shading on the ground since I wasn't completely sure it would look alright. Looking at it now I think it will work out good. I'm going to add some plants or foliage next I think. Probably some birds in the sky would look good too. I dunno.
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Coming along! New dirt is much improved I think on the higher point you should try to keep some of chunky texture, but still add some texture and dithering :). Kinda hard to explain.
Judging from a quick glance, it looks like your curves on the sky aren't maximum efficiency (I just made that up, take note), that is, they aren't ordered correctly. Like instead of 1-1-1-2-2-2-3-3-3
they're like 1-1-2-1-2-3-2-3-3
So either you need to work on that, or your AA bits vary too much in size.
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next vursion!
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup4.gif)
Here's what I did:
fixed bg so the curves are closer to that elusive maximum efficiency and fixed the AA in general
added random things and shadows
small edits
so that pirate robot wearing geta behind that Jerry fellow isn't colored because I wanted some C&C on that a bit first. I'm going to remove the outline, methinks, because it really doesn't match the rest of of the objects in it. since everybody's hypersensitive about references here, I used an old math sheet from 1979 that happened to have some weird robots with ice skates on it.
When I did the robot, I also happened to notice that Mr. Jerry doesn't lean into his run at all. So I'm probably going to try to make him lean into his run a bit too. Also: I'm afraid of plants.
Edit: Oh I also finished texturing the ground.
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Reminds me of toejam and earl 2, especially from this clip bout 5 minutes in where you just run and run.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEz4c9zwefI
could give you some ideas.
no need for those shadows atall imo, at least not so dark.
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Here's my latest version. I got rid of the shadows and finished the geta-wearing robot.
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup5.gif)
I also added a bonus meter, so for each stage there will be three bonus stars. At the end of each stage, if you have gotten all stars, you can play a minigame. Anyways I gotta sleep.
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Well this is probably my final version, so critiques would be nice if you have any.
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup6.png)
Mainly, I edited the sun (mostly AA and some repositioning), and worked on the bonus part of the hud a bit. Everything else is just minor edits and some palette adjustment. 14 colors.
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It looks like the object of the game is to race throught the stage kind of like Sonic the Hedgehog. If so, that would be pretty awesome. Anyway, like people have said, the art style is very nice. Hahah, I guess I don't actually have any real critique... Oh well. Good job so far!
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I really like where you're going with this one.
Here's a few nit-picks:
The AA on the sky and sun doesn't work for me. I think it looks better without.
The ground looked the best in mock-up 3. After that it started to look flat because the pattern in the dithering is applied on the picture plane and not from above.
The dithering gives the sand a nice texture, you just need to make it look like it's lit from the angle of the sun.
There's a mix on contrast on the robot and the guy.
There's banding/jagginess on the hearth.
You could shape the star more like a pentagon. The three stars at the top are OK, the big one is not.
Why are there fish bones in the desert?
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I'll work on what you said, especially the lighting on the sand. But how do you mean about a "mix on contrast"?
It's not exactly a desert, just a fairly empty beach. I should probably add some beachier things, eh?
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Ok.. I think I've gotten everything Robotacon said.
(http://www.kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup7.png)
Is it any better, or have I ruined it even more? :/
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I liked the sky better when it was orange, but other than that it's a good edit. I like the style.
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Reminds me of Wallace and Gromite on the moon episode. The GUI looks very good :y:. I would say that the characters might've been improved by drawing it in that way where you draw the basic shapes first (constructive drawing?). I think a few little things are wrong: the position of the left arm of robot is too far to the left if the arms are supposed to be tilted outwards. Also bottom curve of body doesn't fit with bottom curve of head. Right foot of robot seems too tilted away from us. For man, length of feet not same, as with forearm and shins.
The robot running looks good. Maybe for man, can have his left most foot tilted. Also shift him up a few pixels.
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I'll work on what you said, especially the lighting on the sand. But how do you mean about a "mix on contrast"?
Sorry, I miss-spelled. I meant to say that there is a mix of contrast on the two characters.
The robot have several solid black shadows while the dude had only highlights.
You've added some contrast to him now so it looks better.
The dithering on the sand is also better.
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(http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/gamemockup8.png)
Well I've tweaked the characters a bit. I think they look a bit better. Also I'm trying an orange background again. I was messing with the colors on that fir a while though. Fairly desaturated purple looks surprisingly nice.
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Looks very nice. I liked it with the shadows. If you're going to animate it, you could do a day to night cycle and use both the blue and orange styles :)
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I hope this wouldn't be considered reviving an old topic..
I have another mockup now, for the third stage. It's an underwater level. Currently it's still really WIP but here it is. (Also excuse that Mr. Jerry is running, I haven't made a swimming sprite yet.)
(http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/stage3mockup.png)
I actually tried to make an animation for the heart / health meter. It's supposed to kinda be something that looks like it's splashing around in it. Kinda like water in a glass that's swirling around a bit.
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I want to say that this is the most rad game ever conceived, sir, but I am beginning to get disappointed. You can only run/swim through so many relatively plain-looking levels. The game has enough vivacity to cover a number of mind-bogglingly awesome mechanics. Can we please see Mr. Jerry flying through hula hoops on a penguin? Bouncing on trampolines? Your original image was inspiring, but these updates are feeling tired. I think I would still play it to get high, though.
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I want to say that this is the most rad game ever conceived, sir, but I am beginning to get disappointed. You can only run/swim through so many relatively plain-looking levels. The game has enough vivacity to cover a number of mind-bogglingly awesome mechanics. Can we please see Mr. Jerry flying through hula hoops on a penguin? Bouncing on trampolines? Your original image was inspiring, but these updates are feeling tired. I think I would still play it to get high, though.
Ah, yeah. Hopefully, this won't be very plain later on. It looks lively in my sketch, I just haven't added the plants, rocks, coral, fish, etc. to it yet.
Also, I think I might try having him jump on trampolines in the future. I'm not sure if riding on penguins will work though. Maybe something like a walrus or a sea turtle. (a sea turtle would be great, although that would have to be a hidden feature somewhere)
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Jerry has spatula hands. Shade some fingers on his left hand!
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Jerry has spatula hands. Shade some fingers on his left hand!
Aaaii! I didn't notice that before! Well, the one you see here isn't the current version, but I really don't want to post another stage 2 unless I have a ground breaking edit.
So, here's stage 3 again. I wouldn't have shown it yet, but I can't figure out what's wrong with Jerry.
(http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/stage3mockup2.png)
I was going to add some jellyfish to the mockup too, though I think it might get a bit overcrowded. Mainly I'm going to be working on the ground now, I think.
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I have type for it now. It's an extended character set, probably will only ever use part of them.
(http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/mr-freddy_type.png)
There's also a project page for it at my website. it's got an in-progress storyline, so it's not final. http://kid-made.com/brian/mr-jerry.html
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Sorry for the triple post, this is on the second page and I wanted people to see it.
Here's another mock up. It's still a bit of a WIP but it does have some interesting things in it.
(http://kid-made.com/brian/pixels/bonus-game.png)