Ever feel like you’re standing in the middle of a room where everyone is speaking a language you almost know, but the words just won't click? That’s the heavy, monochromatic world of In Limbo, the breakout graphic memoir by Deb JJ Lee (sometimes searched as Jeb Lee due to phonetic mix-ups). It isn't just another coming-of-age story. It’s a raw, visceral look at what happens when you’re "too Korean" for New Jersey and "too American" for Seoul.
Honestly, the book is a gut punch.
Released in 2023, this 352-page memoir captures the specific, jagged edges of the Korean-American experience. Deb, whose Korean name is Jung-Jin, navigates high school while her mental health basically falls off a cliff. There’s no sugar-coating here. We’re talking about suicide attempts, intense academic pressure, and a mother-daughter relationship that feels more like a battlefield than a bond.
What Really Happens in In Limbo
The story kicks off with Deb’s family moving from South Korea to the United States when she was just three. By the time she hits high school in a predominantly white New Jersey suburb, the "otherness" has become a permanent weight. Teachers can't say her name. Her classmates make her feel like an alien.
Basically, she's stuck.
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This state of being "in limbo" isn't just about geography; it's about her face, her eyes, and the fact that her English is finally "perfect" but her soul feels fractured. The art style itself tells the story better than words ever could. Lee uses a stunning, inky grayscale palette—mostly grayish blues and whites—that makes the New Jersey winter feel as cold as the isolation Deb is experiencing.
The "Tiger Mom" Reality vs. Stereotype
One of the most talked-about parts of the book is Deb’s relationship with her mother. It’s complicated. Her mom is incredibly driven, bordering on what many would call a "tiger mom," but the book doesn't leave it as a caricature. There is real, documented abuse—both verbal and physical.
It's painful to read.
At one point, Deb’s love for the violin, which was her only safe space, gets turned into another academic chore by her mother. So, she quits. It’s a classic example of how high-stakes expectations can actually smother the very talent they're trying to nurture.
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The Turning Point: A Return to South Korea
If the first half of the book is about falling apart, the second half is about the slow, messy process of putting the pieces back together. After a suicide attempt that the book handles with incredible honesty—showing the awkward, "invisible" aftermath where peers don't know whether to ignore you or mock you—Deb starts to find her footing through art.
But the real shift happens during a trip back to South Korea.
Returning to her homeland doesn't magically fix everything. It’s not a movie. However, it does give her a mirror. She sees a version of herself that isn't defined by the "otherness" of America. She begins to understand her heritage not as a burden, but as a part of her identity that she can actually define for herself.
Why In Limbo Matters for Mental Health
Let's be real: mental health is still a huge stigma in many East Asian households. In Limbo doesn't just mention depression; it lives in it. Deb JJ Lee shows the therapy sessions, the anxiety, and the desperate attachment she forms with friends like Quinn, which eventually becomes too much for either of them to handle.
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The Korean edition of the book is titled Oekkeopul (meaning "monolid"). This is a huge deal. It focuses on the physical insecurity many Korean-American girls feel regarding Western beauty standards. By naming the book after a physical trait that is often "corrected" with surgery, Lee is making a bold statement about self-acceptance.
- Fact: The Korea Cartoonist Association (KCA) named it "Cartoon of the Month" in September 2024.
- The Author: Deb JJ Lee is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. They are a Brooklyn-based illustrator who has worked with giants like Google, McDonald’s, and LEGO.
- The Impact: It’s been compared to Hey, Kiddo and The Best We Could Do for its unflinching look at generational trauma.
Key Insights for Readers
If you're picking up In Limbo, don't expect a light read. Expect a mirror. If you’ve ever felt like you’re living in the "in-between," this book will make you feel seen. It’s a masterclass in narrative drawing where the silence in the panels says more than the dialogue.
The story reminds us that healing isn't a straight line. It’s a series of circles that eventually lead you home—wherever that might be.
To truly appreciate the depth of this work, pay attention to the wordless panels. Lee often uses these to show the passage of time or the crushing weight of a conversation that isn't actually happening. It’s in those quiet moments that the "limbo" feels most real.
Actionable Next Steps
- Read the book with an eye for the art: Notice how the color palette shifts—or doesn't—based on Deb's emotional state.
- Check out Deb JJ Lee's commercial work: Seeing their illustrations for brands like Apple or Johnnie Walker shows the incredible range of an artist who started by drawing their own pain.
- Support diverse memoirs: If this story resonated, look into other graphic memoirs like Almost American Girl by Robin Ha to see different facets of the diaspora experience.
- Start a conversation: If you're struggling with the same "in-between" feelings, use the book as a jumping-off point to talk to a friend or a professional. Sometimes seeing it on the page makes it easier to say out loud.