Burnout isn’t just about working too many hours. It’s deeper. Sometimes, it’s about the sheer weight of having to start over, again and again, until the very idea of "rising from the ashes" feels less like a miracle and more like a chore. Honestly, i’m getting tired even for a phoenix is a sentiment that’s been bubbling up across social media and therapy offices lately because we live in a culture that demands constant personal disruption.
We are told to pivot. We are told to rebrand. We are told that if a career path or a relationship or a lifestyle isn't "optimizing" our happiness, we should just torch it and begin anew. But nobody talks about the soot. They don't talk about how much energy it takes to keep building a new version of yourself from the debris of the last one.
The Myth of the Infinite Pivot
The phoenix is a beautiful metaphor, sure. It’s ancient, Greek (mostly), and represents resilience. But if you look at the actual mythology, the phoenix doesn't just "reset" like a video game character. It undergoes a violent, transformative process of combustion. When people say i’m getting tired even for a phoenix, they are tapping into the reality that transformation is expensive. It costs emotional labor. It costs time.
In the modern workplace, this manifests as the "gig economy" or the "career pivot." You spend five years becoming an expert in one field, only for AI or market shifts to render that niche obsolete. So, you burn the old identity. You go to a bootcamp. You learn Python or digital marketing or sourdough baking. You rise. But then, three years later, you have to do it again. It’s exhausting.
According to research by Dr. Christina Maslach, a leading expert on burnout at UC Berkeley, one of the key dimensions of burnout is a sense of reduced personal accomplishment. When you are constantly in "phoenix mode," you never get to enjoy the plateau. You are always in the ascent or the fire, never just... flying.
Why the "Rise and Grind" Mentality Broke Us
We’ve been sold a version of resilience that is actually just sustainable exhaustion.
The pressure to be "extraordinary" means that being a regular bird isn't enough. You have to be the flaming one. This is especially prevalent in the "hustle" sectors of lifestyle and business coaching. You’ve likely seen the Instagram infographics telling you that "your 2.0 version is waiting," but they never mention that the 1.0 version was actually doing okay and just needed a nap.
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The Physicality of Emotional Exhaustion
It isn't just in your head. When you feel like i’m getting tired even for a phoenix, your nervous system is likely stuck in a state of high alert. Constant reinvention triggers the sympathetic nervous system—the fight or flight response. You are constantly "fighting" to survive a transition or "fleeing" a version of yourself that no longer works.
Chronic stress leads to elevated cortisol levels. Over time, this doesn't just make you "tired"; it creates "brain fog," sleep disturbances, and a weakened immune system. You aren't lazy. You are biologically overextended. The phoenix metaphor fails because birds—even mythical ones—don't have to navigate 401(k) rollovers and the terrifying landscape of modern dating apps while they are on fire.
When Resilience Becomes a Trap
There is a dark side to being "strong." If you are known as the person who always bounces back, people—and even you—start to expect it. You become a victim of your own high ceiling for pain.
Psychologists often discuss "resilience fatigue." This happens when an individual has survived so many crises that their capacity to process the next one is depleted. You might look fine on the outside. You might even be succeeding. But internally, the engine is knocking.
- You feel a sense of apathy toward new opportunities.
- The idea of a "fresh start" feels heavy rather than exciting.
- You start withdrawing from social circles because you don't want to explain your "new" self again.
- Small setbacks feel like catastrophic failures because you're out of reserves.
It’s okay to admit that the fire is out. In fact, it’s necessary.
The Case for Being a Pigeon Instead
Maybe the goal shouldn't be to be a phoenix. Maybe the goal is to be a pigeon.
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Pigeons are incredibly successful. They are adaptable without being dramatic. They find a niche, they stay in it, they eat some crumbs, and they survive. There is a profound dignity in stability. We have stigmatized the "plateau" as a place of stagnation, but the plateau is actually where life happens. It’s where you build deep roots. It’s where you have "boring" Tuesdays that don't require a total soul-searching overhaul.
If you find yourself thinking i’m getting tired even for a phoenix, it’s a signal from your psyche that you’ve reached your quota for reinvention. You don't need another "New Year, New Me." You need a "New Year, Same Me, But With Better Boundaries."
How to Stop the Cycle of Forced Rebirth
First, stop viewing stability as a failure. If your job is "just okay" and it pays the bills and allows you to go home at 5 PM, that is a massive win. You don't have to launch a side hustle. You don't have to "disrupt" your industry.
Second, audit your "fires." Look at the times you’ve had to start over in the last five years. Were those fires necessary, or did you set them yourself because you felt restless or inadequate? Sometimes we burn down perfectly good lives because we’ve been conditioned to believe that "growth" only happens in the wreckage.
Third, embrace the "Soot Phase." If you have recently gone through a major change, give yourself a year—not a month—to just exist in the aftermath. You don't have to be "rising" yet. You can just be ash for a while. It’s nutrient-rich. It’s quiet.
Actionable Steps to Recover Your Energy
If you are feeling this specific type of existential fatigue, standard "self-care" like bubble baths won't cut it. You need a structural shift in how you relate to your own identity.
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Lower the stakes of your daily choices. Stop treating every decision like it's the foundation of your new empire. Decide to be mediocre at something for a while. Join a hobby group where you are the worst person there and have zero intention of improving. It breaks the "performance" cycle of the phoenix.
Limit your exposure to "Inspiration Porn." Unfollow the accounts that make you feel like you're falling behind. The "25-year-old CEO" or the "Digital Nomad" who changed their life with one simple trick is selling a version of the phoenix myth that ignores the burn scars.
Schedule a "Season of No." For the next three months, say no to any opportunity that requires a significant "pivot." No new projects, no major lifestyle changes, no intense diets. Just maintenance.
Practice "Identity Anchoring." Find the things about yourself that don't change, regardless of your job or relationship status. Maybe you’re a person who likes the smell of rain. Maybe you’re someone who is kind to waiters. These are your anchors. They keep you from floating away when the wind picks up.
The world will always ask for more of you. It will ask you to be brighter, faster, and newer. But you aren't a mythical creature. You’re a human being, and human beings weren't meant to be on fire all the time. Sometimes, the most radical thing you can do is just stay exactly as you are.