It starts as a whisper. Maybe a thought while looking in the mirror or a reaction to a stressful week where food just felt like "too much." Then, it becomes a mantra: I’ll try not to starve myself. It sounds like a promise, but often, it's a plea. It’s the sound of someone standing on the edge of a habit they know is dangerous but can't quite quit.
We need to be honest. Starvation isn't just about the absence of food. It's a physiological shutdown. When you stop eating enough, your body doesn't just "burn fat." It panics. It lowers your heart rate, thins your hair, and makes your brain feel like it's stuck in a thick, gray fog.
The phrase "I'll try not to starve myself" often comes from people who are caught in the "gray area" of disordered eating. You might not meet every clinical criterion for Anorexia Nervosa, but you are struggling. You’re skipping lunch "by accident" or replacing dinner with coffee.
Why the Brain Fixates on Restriction
Biological psychology tells us something fascinating and terrifying about the human brain. When we are in a caloric deficit, our brains prioritize food-seeking behavior above all else. This is known as the Minnesota Starvation Experiment effect. Conducted by Dr. Ancel Keys in 1944, this study showed that when men were semi-starved, they became obsessed with cookbooks, dreamt of food, and lost interest in everything else.
If you find yourself saying "I'll try not to starve myself," you are likely already feeling this mental narrowing.
Your world gets smaller.
👉 See also: My eye keeps twitching for days: When to ignore it and when to actually worry
Socializing feels impossible because there might be food there. Exercising feels like a chore, yet you feel guilty if you don't do it. The "try" in that sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting. It implies a lack of control, a tug-of-war between the part of you that wants to survive and the part that wants to disappear.
The Physical Cost of "Trying"
It's easy to think you're fine because your labs look "normal." But the body is a master of compensation. It will leach calcium from your bones to keep your heart beating. It will shut down your reproductive system because it can't afford the energy for a period.
- Bradycardia: Your heart slows down to conserve energy. This can lead to fainting or, in worse cases, heart failure.
- Gastroparesis: Your digestive system literally slows down. When you finally do eat, it feels like a brick is sitting in your stomach because your muscles have forgotten how to move food along.
- Cognitive Dissonance: You know you should eat, but the "ED voice" tells you that you're stronger if you don't.
Many people think starvation is a choice made once a day. It isn't. It's a choice made every minute. Every time you walk past the kitchen. Every time someone offers you a snack. When you say I'll try not to starve myself, you're acknowledging that the choice is becoming harder to make.
The Myth of "Not Sick Enough"
One of the biggest hurdles in recovery is the belief that you aren't "sick enough" to deserve help. You might think, "I'm still at a normal weight," or "I ate a sandwich yesterday, so I'm not really starving."
This is a lie.
✨ Don't miss: Ingestion of hydrogen peroxide: Why a common household hack is actually dangerous
Medical experts like Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani, author of Sick Enough, argue that the body suffers regardless of the number on the scale. Malnutrition is a state of being, not a weight category. You can be "starving" at any size. The damage to your metabolism and your mental health is real the moment you start restricting.
Practical Steps Toward Nourishment
Stopping the cycle of restriction requires more than just "willpower." It requires a plan. If you are genuinely saying I'll try not to starve myself, you need scaffolding to hold you up when your brain tries to talk you out of eating.
Mechanical Eating
When your hunger cues are broken—which happens quickly during restriction—you cannot rely on "feeling hungry." You have to eat by the clock. Three meals and three snacks. It sounds like a lot. It feels like a lot. But it is the only way to kickstart your metabolism and signal to your brain that the famine is over.
Challenging the "Safe" Food List
Restriction thrives on rules. "I can't eat after 7 PM." "I can only have carbs if I worked out." To stop starving yourself, you have to break these rules. Start small. Pick one "fear food" a week. Eat it. Notice that the world didn't end.
The Role of Support
You can't do this alone. Honestly, you shouldn't have to. Whether it's a therapist specializing in EDs, a registered dietitian, or a trusted friend, you need someone to check in with. Tell them: "I'm struggling with the urge to restrict." Verbalizing it takes away some of its power.
🔗 Read more: Why the EMS 20/20 Podcast is the Best Training You’re Not Getting in School
What Happens When You Stop?
The first few weeks of refeeding are hard. You might feel bloated. You might feel intense "extreme hunger" where you feel like you can't stop eating. This is normal. It’s called the Homeostatic Recovery Period. Your body is trying to make up for the energy debt you've accumulated.
Don't be scared of it.
Your body is not "getting out of control." It is trying to save your life. It is repairing your organs, rebuilding your muscles, and restoring your brain function.
Actionable Next Steps
If you are currently in the cycle of saying I'll try not to starve myself, here is what you do today. Not tomorrow. Today.
- Eat something now. Don't wait for the "right" time. A piece of toast, a handful of nuts, a glass of milk. Anything to break the fast.
- Delete the apps. If you are tracking calories or macros, delete the app. It is a digital leash that keeps you tied to your disorder.
- Schedule a "blind" weigh-in. If you are seeing a doctor, ask to step on the scale backward. You don't need to know the number. The number is the fuel for the starvation fire.
- Audit your environment. Unfollow social media accounts that promote "clean eating," "body checking," or "fasting." Fill your feed with people who have recovered and who live full, messy, nourished lives.
- Identify the 'Why'. Why are you trying not to starve? Is it for your career? Your kids? Your ability to think clearly? Write it down. Carry it in your pocket.
Starvation is a thief. It steals your personality, your humor, and your future. Making the choice to eat is an act of rebellion against a culture that tells you that smaller is better. It isn't. Better is being present. Better is having the energy to laugh. Better is being alive.