Imagine it. You wake up, and suddenly, your word is law. No more taxes to file, no more boss breathing down your neck about a missed deadline, and definitely no more sitting in traffic. It’s a seductive thought, right? The phrase if i were a king has been a staple of human daydreaming since, well, since we actually had kings who could chop off heads on a whim. But honestly, if you actually sat on a throne tomorrow, it would probably be a nightmare.
Most people think of royalty as a mix of Disney aesthetics and a limitless credit card. We see the crown and think "freedom." In reality, historical kingship was usually just a high-stakes corporate management job where your board of directors—the nobles—were actively trying to murder you. Yet, the fantasy persists because it represents the ultimate desire for agency in a world where most of us feel like we have very little.
What People Get Wrong About Absolute Power
We have this weird, distorted view of what it means to rule. Pop culture, from Game of Thrones to The Crown, makes it look like it's all about heavy robes and dramatic speeches. But if you look at the actual history of monarchs like Louis XIV or Henry VIII, their lives were incredibly structured. Rigid, even. Louis XIV had people watching him get out of bed. Every. Single. Day. That’s not power; that’s a lack of privacy that would make a modern influencer have a breakdown.
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When you say if i were a king, you’re usually imagining "I would fix everything." You’d end poverty. You’d build beautiful parks. You’d make sure the trains run on time. It’s the "Benevolent Dictator" trope. The problem is that power doesn't work in a vacuum. To stay king, you need the support of the people who control the money and the military. If you spend all the gold on public parks and ignore the generals, you won't be king for long.
The Psychological Hook of the Crown
Why do we still do this? Why do we play games like Crusader Kings or watch endless documentaries about the Tudors? It's about the simplification of problems. In our real lives, problems are messy and bureaucratic. If you want to fix a pothole in your street, you have to call the city, wait for a meeting, vote on a budget, and hope for the best. If i were a king, I’d just point at the hole and say "Fix it." There is a deep, primal satisfaction in that kind of direct impact.
Psychologists often point to this as a form of "external locus of control" coping. When the world feels chaotic—inflation, climate change, weird political shifts—the idea of a single, wise ruler (who happens to be you) makes the world feel manageable again. You aren’t just a cog in the machine; you are the machine.
The Burden of the "Great Man" Theory
There’s this old idea called the Great Man Theory, popularized by Thomas Carlyle in the 19th century. It suggests that history is just the biography of powerful men. While most modern historians think that’s total nonsense—because social movements and economics matter way more—we still buy into it emotionally. We want to believe one person can change the course of a nation.
- The Law of Unintended Consequences: You ban something you hate. Suddenly, a black market forms.
- The Information Bubble: Nobody tells a king the truth. They tell him what he wants to hear so they don't get fired (or worse).
- The Loneliness Factor: You can't really have "friends" when you can literally order their execution. The power dynamic ruins every relationship.
If I Were a King in 2026: A Modern Reality Check
Let's get practical for a second. If you were actually handed a kingdom today, the first thing you’d realize is that you don't know how to run a power grid. Or a healthcare system. Or a digital currency exchange.
The dream of if i were a king is usually a dream of returning to a simpler time, but we live in a hyper-connected world. A modern king would spend 16 hours a day on Zoom calls with technical advisors. You’d be a glorified project manager with a fancy hat.
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Think about the modern "royals" we have now—tech billionaires. They have more resources than most historical kings ever did. They can launch rockets and buy social media platforms. But look at their lives. They are constantly stressed, embroiled in lawsuits, and obsessed with their public image. It turns out that having the power to do anything doesn't actually make you happy. It just gives you more things to worry about.
The Real Power is Local (And Less Heavy)
If you really want the feeling of being a king, you don't need a throne. You need autonomy. Most of the time, when people say if i were a king, they are actually saying "I want more control over my schedule and my environment."
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You can get about 80% of the "king" feeling by simply setting better boundaries. Saying "no" to things you don't want to do is a royal prerogative. Building a community or a small business where you set the culture is a form of modern kingship. It's about sovereignty over yourself, not over others.
Actionable Steps to Take Back Your Sovereignty
Stop waiting for a crown. You can start acting with "kingly" agency right now without the risk of a peasant revolt.
- Audit your "vassals": Look at who drains your energy. If you were a king, you wouldn't let people constantly waste your time with drama. Cut the cord.
- Define your territory: What part of your life do you actually control? Your home? Your desk? Your morning routine? Make that space exactly how you want it. No compromises.
- Practice Decisiveness: Kings don't say "I don't know, what do you want for dinner?" They make a call. Start making small decisions faster to build that "muscle" of authority.
- Invest in Your Legacy: A king thinks in centuries, not weeks. Start a project—a garden, a book, a savings account—that is meant to last longer than you.
The fantasy of being a king is ultimately about the desire to matter. It's a valid feeling. But the real secret that historical monarchs knew—and that we often forget—is that the crown is always heavier than it looks. True power isn't about being served; it's about the ability to choose your own path without asking for permission. Start there. You don't need a coronation for that.