The opening track of Trouble Will Find Me doesn't start with a bang. It starts with a realization. When you first hear the I Should Live in Salt lyrics, there’s this immediate sense of a heavy, dragging regret. It’s not about a breakup, though. It’s not about a dead friend. It’s about a little brother who grew up while the big brother wasn't looking.
Matt Berninger, the baritone frontman of The National, has always been a master of the "middle-class anxiety" aesthetic. But this song is different. It’s specifically addressed to Tom Berninger, Matt’s younger brother. If you’ve seen the documentary Mistaken for Strangers, you know the vibe. Tom is the metal-loving, chaotic, filmmaking younger sibling who joined the band on tour and basically failed at being a roadie because he was too busy being himself.
Matt wrote these words because he felt like he’d abandoned Tom. He left for the city, became a rock star, and forgot to bring his brother along for the ride. Or maybe he just forgot to check in. It’s a song about the guilt of success.
The Raw Meaning Behind the I Should Live in Salt Lyrics
People get the "salt" metaphor wrong all the time. Honestly, it’s not that complicated, but it is deeply personal. In various interviews, Matt has touched on the idea of salt as a preservative or something that stings a wound. But mostly? It’s about the ocean. It’s about being "in salt"—staying in a place of mourning or penance. He’s saying he deserves to be uncomfortable because he wasn't there.
"I should live in salt for leaving you behind."
That line is the heart of the whole thing. It’s an admission of a specific kind of sibling cruelty: the cruelty of moving on. When Matt moved to New York to pursue graphic design and later music, Tom stayed back in Cincinnati. There’s a decade between them. That’s a massive gap when one person is hitting their stride and the other is still figuring out how to be an adult.
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The song isn't just a "sorry." It’s a "you should have been there." The National has always leaned into these messy, familial dynamics. They are a band literally made of brothers—the Dessners and the Devendorfs. Matt was the only one without his brother in the trenches with him until that 2010 tour.
The 9/8 Time Signature and the Feeling of Unease
Music nerds love this track because it’s in 9/8 time. It feels off-balance. It’s awkward. It’s jerky. Much like a relationship with a sibling you haven't talked to in three years. You try to walk together, but someone’s always out of step.
If you listen to Bryan Devendorf’s drumming on this track, it’s doing a lot of heavy lifting. It pushes the lyrics forward even when Matt sounds like he wants to retreat. The rhythm mirrors the emotional state of the I Should Live in Salt lyrics. It’s the sound of someone trying to apologize but stumbling over their own feet. It’s not a smooth ballad. It’s a jagged piece of alt-rock that feels like a lump in your throat.
Key Themes of Regret and Brotherhood
There is a specific line that always hits: "Learn to appreciate the vacancy."
Think about that for a second. Matt is telling himself (or Tom) to get used to the emptiness he created by leaving. It’s a brutal thing to say. It’s an acknowledgment that his absence caused a hole in his brother’s life. You can hear the self-reproach. It’s the kind of thing you only realize after you’ve "made it" and you look back to see who you dropped along the way.
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The lyrics also mention "California." This refers to the time they spent together later, particularly around the filming of the documentary. It’s where the tension between the "successful" brother and the "struggling" brother finally boiled over.
- The Guilt of the Eldest: Being the first to leave the nest often comes with a secret shame.
- The Preservation of Memory: Salt preserves things. Matt wants to hold onto the version of Tom he left behind, even though that person is gone.
- The Public Apology: Writing a song like this is a massive gesture. It’s putting your family’s dirty laundry on a billboard and then singing it to 20,000 people every night.
Why "Salt" Specifically?
Biblical references are scattered all through The National’s discography, though Matt isn't a religious guy in the traditional sense. Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt for looking back. Matt is looking back. He’s turning himself into salt by obsessing over the past.
It’s also a physical sensation. Salt in the eyes. Salt in a cut. It’s a choice to stay in pain. He doesn't want to move past the guilt yet because the guilt is the only thing connecting him to that period of his life. If he stops feeling bad about leaving Tom, he’s truly left him.
How Mistaken for Strangers Changes Everything
You really can't fully grasp the I Should Live in Salt lyrics without watching Mistaken for Strangers. It’s probably the best music documentary of the last twenty years because it isn't really about music. It’s about two brothers who don't know how to talk to each other.
In the film, you see Tom being a nuisance. He’s messy, he’s loud, and he’s constantly asking Matt questions that Matt doesn't want to answer. But you also see Matt’s protective streak. He’s hard on Tom because he wants Tom to be "better," but the song is the realization that Matt doesn't get to decide what "better" looks like for his brother.
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The lyrics act as a prequel to the movie’s emotional climax. While the movie shows the friction, the song shows the internal rot that led to it. It’s Matt admitting, "I’m the one who messed this up, not you."
Common Misconceptions About the Song
A lot of fans think this is a song about a romantic partner. "I should live in salt for leaving you behind" sounds like a classic break-up line. If you didn't know about Tom, you’d assume Matt was singing to an ex-girlfriend from Ohio.
But that’s the beauty of Berninger’s writing. He writes about his brother with the intensity of a romantic tragedy. Because losing a sibling—or losing the closeness you once had—is a heartbreak. It’s just one we don't have as many songs for.
Another mistake? Thinking the song is angry. It’s not. It’s profoundly sad. There is no anger in the I Should Live in Salt lyrics, only a desperate wish to go back and do the "leaving" part differently. Maybe bring a suitcase big enough for two.
Actionable Takeaways for Listeners
If you’re diving into this track for the first time or the hundredth, here is how to actually digest what’s happening:
- Watch the Documentary First: Seriously. Go find Mistaken for Strangers. It will change how you hear every single line of this song. You will see Tom’s face when Matt sings "You might need a friend / I wouldn't use that word yet." It’s heartbreaking.
- Listen for the Transition: Notice how the song flows into the rest of Trouble Will Find Me. The whole album deals with being "settled" but still feeling terrified. This song sets the stage for that.
- Read the Lyrics Without the Music: Sometimes the orchestration of The National is so lush you miss the punch to the gut. Read the words like a poem. "I should live in salt for leaving you behind" hits different when it’s silent.
- Examine Your Own "Salt": Most people have someone they left behind, whether it’s a sibling, a hometown friend, or a former version of themselves. Use the song as a tool for your own reflection. Who are you "living in salt" for?
The National makes music for people who think too much. This song is the pinnacle of that. It’s a complicated, messy, rhythmic apology that doesn't actually ask for forgiveness. It just sits there, in the salt, waiting to be noticed. It’s a reminder that even when we move on, we carry the people we left with us, usually in the form of a sting we can't quite wash away.