Fat is a word that usually carries a heavy weight of shame, but honestly, for a growing number of people, that narrative is completely flipping. You’ve probably seen the shift on your social feeds. It isn't just about "body positivity" anymore—it's deeper. I love being fat is a sentiment that sounds radical because we’ve been conditioned to think of larger bodies as temporary problems to be solved.
But what happens when you stop waiting for your life to start at a lower weight?
Everything changes.
People are finding that stepping away from the constant cycle of restriction actually opens up a world of mental clarity and physical ease they didn't think was possible. Aubrey Gordon, co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast and author of What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat, has spent years breaking down how systemic bias makes life harder for fat people, yet she also highlights the power of reclaiming the word "fat" itself. It's a descriptor. Like "tall" or "brunette." When you strip away the moral judgment, the world looks different.
The Reality of Living in a Larger Body Without Apology
The vibe is shifting. For decades, the goal was to be "body positive," which basically meant trying to find yourself beautiful every single second of the day. That’s exhausting. Most people can’t do it. Body neutrality, however, allows for a much more honest relationship with the self. It’s the idea that your body is a vessel, not a masterpiece on display for public approval.
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When someone says "I love being fat," they aren't necessarily saying they love the joint pain that might come with certain lifestyles or the difficulty of finding clothes in a brick-and-mortar store. They're often saying they love the freedom. Freedom from the 2 p.m. hunger pangs that they used to ignore. Freedom from the "before and after" photos that kept them stuck in a loop of self-loathing.
Take Virgie Tovar, for example. She’s an expert on fat discrimination and the author of You Have the Right to Remain Fat. She argues that "diet culture" is essentially a form of social control. When you opt out of that, you regain a massive amount of brain space. You can focus on your career, your hobbies, or just enjoying a meal with friends without doing mental math on a napkin.
It’s about comfort. Softness.
There is a tactile joy in inhabiting a body that doesn't feel like a constant construction zone. You stop looking at your stomach as a "work in progress" and start looking at it as, well, your stomach. It’s there. It’s soft. It’s you.
Why the Medical Community is Starting to Listen
Health is complicated. We used to think BMI was the end-all, be-all of medical metrics, but we now know it’s a pretty flawed tool. Developed by Adolphe Quetelet in the 19th century, it was never meant to measure individual health—it was for populations.
Lately, more doctors are moving toward "Health At Every Size" (HAES), a framework popularized by Lindo Bacon. The core idea? You can’t tell how healthy someone is just by looking at them. Metabolic health—things like blood pressure, cholesterol, and insulin sensitivity—matters way more than the number on a scale.
- Focusing on intuitive eating rather than calorie counting.
- Moving your body because it feels good, not as a punishment for what you ate.
- Prioritizing sleep and stress management over "shedding pounds."
Studies, including research published in the Nutrition Journal, have shown that HAES-based interventions can lead to better long-term health outcomes than traditional weight-loss diets, which have a failure rate of nearly 95% over five years. When you stop fighting your biology, your cortisol levels actually drop. Your heart health improves because you aren't putting your body through the "yo-yo" effect of losing and gaining weight, which is actually more taxing on the cardiovascular system than staying at a stable, higher weight.
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Reclaiming Space in a World That Wants You Small
The world isn't built for fat people. This is a fact.
Airplane seats are narrow. Turnstiles are tight. Doctors often blame a broken arm on weight before they even look at the X-ray. So, saying "I love being fat" is a form of resistance. It’s a way of saying, "I refuse to be miserable until I fit into your furniture."
There’s a community aspect to this that is genuinely beautiful. From "Fat Girls Hiking" to inclusive yoga studios, people are creating their own spaces. They aren't waiting for permission to exist. They’re buying the swimsuit. They’re going to the beach. They’re living full, vibrant lives right now.
Breaking Down the Myths
People think that if you love being fat, you’ve "given up."
That’s a huge misconception. In reality, it takes a massive amount of effort to unlearn the internalised fatphobia most of us grew up with. It’s an active process. It involves curated social media feeds to see bodies that look like yours. It involves setting boundaries with family members who comment on your plate.
It’s not "giving up" on health; it's giving up on a specific aesthetic standard that was never attainable or healthy for your specific genetics.
We also have to talk about the "glorification" argument. Critics say that being happy while fat encourages "obesity." But let's be real—shaming people has never made them healthier. In fact, weight stigma is linked to increased depression, social isolation, and avoidance of medical care. If loving yourself leads to you actually going to the doctor because you no longer fear the scale, isn't that a win for health?
How to Start the Journey Toward Body Acceptance
If you're tired of the war with your mirror, you don't have to jump straight to "loving" everything. Neutrality is a great pit stop.
- Curate your input. Unfollow every account that makes you feel like you need to change your body to be worthy of respect. Follow creators like Jessamyn Stanley or Sonalee Rashatwar.
- Buy clothes that fit today. Stop keeping the "goal jeans." They are a haunt. Wear fabrics that feel good on your skin right now.
- Listen to your hunger. This is harder than it sounds. It means eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're full, without the "good" or "bad" labels.
- Find movement that isn't a chore. Maybe it's dancing in your kitchen. Maybe it's swimming. If it feels like a punishment, stop doing it.
The transition to body acceptance is messy. You’ll have bad days. You’ll catch your reflection and feel that old sting. But the goal isn't perfection; it's presence. When you stop trying to shrink, you finally have the room to grow in every other way that matters.
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The most radical thing you can do in a society that profits off your self-doubt is to be okay with yourself. It sounds simple, but it’s a quiet revolution. Whether you call it fat acceptance, body neutrality, or just living your life, the result is the same: you get your time back. You get your energy back. You get yourself back.
Practical Steps for a Neutral Mindset
Begin by identifying "body checking" behaviors, like pinching your skin or constantly looking in windows as you walk by. When you catch yourself doing it, acknowledge it without judgment and redirect your focus to what you are actually doing in that moment—feeling the wind, hearing the traffic, or tasting your coffee. Shift your language from "I look gross" to "This is my body today." Over time, these small linguistic shifts rewire how your brain processes your physical form. Seek out medical providers who offer weight-neutral care to ensure your health concerns are addressed with the same rigor as any other patient's.