It hits you at the weirdest times. Maybe you’re standing in the middle of a grocery store aisle, staring at a brand of cereal that looks almost like the one from back home, but the packaging is just slightly off. Suddenly, your throat tightens. You realize with a jarring thud in your chest that i have never been this homesick before, and the intensity of it feels like a physical blow.
It’s not just "missing home." It’s an ache.
Psychologists actually have a name for the more severe version of this: separation anxiety disorder, though in adults, we usually just call it a rough transition. But when you’re in it, clinical terms don’t help. You feel like an alien. Everything—the smell of the air, the way people say hello, the light hitting the pavement at 4:00 PM—feels wrong. You aren't just nostalgic; you’re grieving a version of yourself that fit into a specific puzzle. Now, the pieces are scattered.
The Science of Why This Feels Like Physical Pain
Believe it or not, homesickness is biologically taxing. When you're in a new environment, your brain stays in a state of high alert. This is the "hyper-vigilance" phase. Because your brain doesn't recognize the "safe" patterns of your old neighborhood or your mom's kitchen, it keeps your cortisol levels spiked. You’re essentially in a low-grade "fight or flight" mode for weeks or months.
That’s why you’re exhausted.
It's also why you might feel literally sick. High cortisol suppresses the immune system. Researchers like Dr. Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, have noted that homesickness is often about a loss of control. You lose your "habitual" life. When you don't know where to get the best coffee or which lane to be in for the highway exit, your brain works overtime. It’s exhausting. It’s isolating.
🔗 Read more: Why Everyone Is Still Obsessing Over Maybelline SuperStay Skin Tint
It Isn't Just About the Place
Honestly? You probably don't just miss the house. You miss the person you were in that house.
When people say, i have never been this homesick before, they are often mourning the loss of their social capital. Back home, people knew you. They knew your jokes. They knew you were the person to call when a car broke down or when someone needed a movie recommendation. In a new place, you’re a blank slate. Being a "nobody" is a massive ego hit that most of us aren't prepared for.
The "Digital Mirage" Problem
We live in a weird era for moving. In the 1990s, if you moved across the country, you wrote letters or paid for expensive long-distance calls. You were forced to integrate because the "old world" was mostly inaccessible.
Now? You’re on Instagram.
You see your friends at the pub you used to frequent. You see the Friday night lights of your hometown’s high school football game on a story. You’re physically in a new city, but your mind is stuck in a digital loop of what you’re missing. This creates a "split-brain" effect. You never fully arrive in your new life because you’re constantly checking the status of your old one.
💡 You might also like: Coach Bag Animal Print: Why These Wild Patterns Actually Work as Neutrals
Stop doing that. Sorta.
I’m not saying delete your accounts, but recognize that the "FOMO" you’re feeling is curated. Your friends aren't posting about the boring Tuesday nights or the traffic. They’re posting the highlights. You’re comparing your "behind-the-scenes" move—the boxes, the lonely dinners, the confusing bus routes—to their "greatest hits" reel.
How to Handle the "I Have Never Been This Homesick Before" Wall
When the wall hits, you have to climb over it, not just sit at the bottom crying (though a good cry is actually medically recommended to release some of that built-up tension).
Build a "Micro-Routine" Immediately. Find one place in your new town. A specific park bench. A specific corner of a library. Go there every single day at the same time. This tells your brain, "We have a territory here. We are safe."
Stop Calling Home for Two Weeks. This sounds harsh. It is. But if you spend every evening on FaceTime with your parents or your best friend, you aren't making space for new people. You’re using your old life as a crutch. Give yourself a "blackout period" to force your brain to find comfort in your current surroundings.
📖 Related: Bed and Breakfast Wedding Venues: Why Smaller Might Actually Be Better
The "Rule of Three." Find three things your new location has that your old one didn't. Maybe it’s a specific type of tree, a better library system, or even just a really good taco truck. Focus on the gains, not just the losses.
Why Age Makes It Harder
There’s this myth that only kids at summer camp get homesick. Total lie.
Adult homesickness is actually more complex because the stakes are higher. If you moved for a job, you feel the pressure to succeed. If you moved for a partner, you might feel guilty for being unhappy. You’re supposed to be "grown up," right? Wrong. The need for belonging is a fundamental human drive, right up there with food and shelter. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs puts "Love and Belonging" right after physical safety. If you don't feel like you belong, your foundation is shaky.
Moving Forward Without Forgetting
Homesickness isn't a sign that you made a mistake.
That’s the biggest misconception. People think, "If I feel this bad, I shouldn't have moved." No. You feel this bad because you’re capable of deep connection, and you’re currently disconnected. It’s a sign of your humanity, not a sign of a bad decision.
Take these specific steps over the next 48 hours:
- Go to a local event alone. Don't wait for an invite. Go to a trivia night or a run club. The goal isn't to make a best friend; it's to have three 30-second conversations with strangers.
- Unpack the "Sentimental" Box. Many people leave their favorite photos or blankets in boxes because "the house isn't ready yet." Unpack them now. Your brain needs those visual anchors.
- Cook a meal that smells like home. Smell is the strongest sense linked to memory. If your house smells like your grandmother's kitchen, your nervous system will naturally dial back the "danger" signals.
- Acknowledge the timeline. Most relocation experts say it takes six to nine months to feel "okay" and two years to feel "at home." If you’ve only been there for three weeks, give yourself a break.
You are currently in the hardest part of the process. The transition is the "messy middle." It feels permanent, but it’s actually a temporary neurological adjustment. Stick it out. The feeling of i have never been this homesick before will eventually fade into a quiet appreciation for where you came from, while you're busy building where you are going.