It sounds like a bratty pop song lyric or a line from a villain in a noir film. But honestly, the phrase i always get what i want has moved away from spoiled-child territory and straight into the world of "lucky girl syndrome" and psychological priming. You’ve probably seen the TikToks. People swear that by simply repeating this mantra, the universe bends to their will.
Is it magic? No. Is it just annoying optimism? Kinda.
But there is a very real, documented psychological mechanism at play here. When people say they always get what they want, they aren't necessarily rewriting the laws of physics. They are usually rewriting their own cognitive filters.
The Reticular Activating System (RAS) and Why It Matters
Your brain is constantly bombarded by data. Like, an exhausting amount. To keep you from losing your mind, a bundle of nerves in your brainstem called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) acts as a filter. It decides what information is relevant to you and what can be ignored.
If you decide that i always get what i want, your RAS starts looking for evidence to support that claim.
It’s like when you buy a red Jeep and suddenly you see red Jeeps on every single corner. They were always there. You just didn't care before. When you adopt the mindset that things work out for you, you start noticing opportunities that other people miss because they’re too busy looking for reasons why things will fail.
Dr. Tara Swart, a neuroscientist and senior lecturer at MIT, talks about this in her book The Source. She argues that through "value-tagging," we can prime our brains to notice things that align with our goals. If you're convinced you'll get the job, you walk into the interview with a level of physiological calm that actually makes you more articulate. You didn't "manifest" the job out of thin air; you optimized your brain's performance to grab it.
The Dark Side of Persistent Getting
We have to be real here. The "I always get what I want" mentality can easily slide into something a bit more clinical.
In clinical psychology, an "internal locus of control" is generally healthy. It’s the belief that you have agency over your life. However, when this crosses into an absolute demand on reality, we might be looking at narcissistic traits or an inability to handle "No."
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Healthy persistence looks like: "I want this, so I will find a way to make it happen."
Unhealthy entitlement looks like: "I want this, and if I don't get it, the world is broken or someone is out to get me."
The most successful people who claim i always get what i want are usually just masters of the "Pivot." When Plan A fails, they don't see it as a "No." They see it as a detour. To an outside observer, it looks like they always win. In reality, they just refuse to stop until they find a version of "winning" that works.
Confirmation Bias is a Hell of a Drug
Why does it feel so true for some people?
Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, and recall information in a way that confirms one's pre-existing beliefs. If I believe I am lucky, I will remember the time I found five dollars on the sidewalk but completely forget the time I dropped my ice cream.
If you tell yourself i always get what i want, your memory becomes a curated highlight reel.
- You remember the green lights.
- You remember the "yes" from your boss.
- You remember the seat opening up on the bus.
- You ignore the 45-minute wait at the doctor's office because it doesn't fit the narrative.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, research by psychologist Richard Wiseman, who spent years studying "lucky" vs. "unlucky" people, found that "lucky" people are simply more open to new experiences and more likely to act on chance opportunities. They aren't inherently luckier; they just play the game more often.
Social Engineering and the Charisma Factor
There’s a social element to this too. When someone carries themselves with the quiet confidence of i always get what i want, people tend to get out of their way.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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Confidence is attractive. It’s persuasive. If you're negotiating a deal and you act as though the outcome is already decided in your favor, the other party often subconsciously aligns with your energy. This isn't sorcery; it's basic social psychology. We look to others for cues on how to value them. If you value yourself as someone who wins, others often follow suit.
However, there is a ceiling. You can't "confidence" your way out of a lack of skill.
The Difference Between Manifesting and Doing
The internet loves the "manifestation" angle of i always get what i want. The idea is that your thoughts have a frequency and you attract what you vibrate.
Let's be clear: there is zero peer-reviewed scientific evidence that "vibrations" attract physical objects.
What is proven is the "Expectancy Theory." When we expect a positive outcome, our behavior changes. We work harder. We stay later. We are more resilient.
If you think you're going to lose, you've already checked out mentally. If you think i always get what i want, you're the last person to leave the room. You're the one sending the follow-up email. You're the one asking for the discount.
The "getting" is the result of the "doing," which was fueled by the "believing."
Actionable Steps to Actually Get What You Want
If you want to adopt this mindset without becoming a delusional nightmare at dinner parties, you need a strategy. It’s about merging the psychological edge with actual effort.
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Audit Your Inner Monologue
Start noticing how often you tell yourself "That would never happen for me." That's your RAS working against you. You're literally training your brain to ignore opportunities. Try flipping the script. Not to something fake, but to something curious. Instead of "I won't get this," try "I wonder how I'm going to get this."
Increase Your Surface Area for Luck
Luck is a numbers game. If you want to get what you want, you have to want more things and ask for them more often. Apply for the roles you're 60% qualified for. Ask for the table by the window. The person who says i always get what i want usually asks ten times more often than the person who says "I never get anything."
Practice Radical Resilience
When you don't get the thing—and you won't, because that's life—don't let it break the "I get what I want" identity. Reframe it. "I didn't get that because I'm actually supposed to get this." It sounds delusional, but it keeps your dopamine levels high enough to keep trying.
The Selective Memory Trick
At the end of the day, write down three things that went your way. Tiny things. This trains your brain to prioritize "wins" over "losses." Over time, your default state becomes one of expecting success.
Getting what you want isn't about controlling the universe. It’s about controlling your focus, your effort, and your refusal to accept a "no" as the final word. It’s a mix of cognitive bias, social signaling, and sheer, stubborn persistence.
Stop waiting for the world to hand you things. Start convincing your brain that the things are already yours, and then go pick them up.
Next Steps for Implementation:
- Identify one specific goal you've been hesitant to pursue because you "never get what you want."
- State the outcome as a fact (e.g., "I am moving to a better apartment by June") to prime your RAS.
- Take three "low-stakes" risks this week—ask for a small favor, apply for a minor award, or initiate a conversation with someone you admire—to build your "asking" muscle.
- Note every "win" in a dedicated digital note to begin building the confirmation bias that supports your new identity.