How to Write a Graduation Commencement Speech Without Being Bored to Tears

How to Write a Graduation Commencement Speech Without Being Bored to Tears

You’re standing at a podium. The sun is beating down on a sea of polyester robes. Everyone—students, parents, that one uncle who fell asleep during the processional—is looking at you. No pressure, right? Most people think the hardest part of figuring out how to write a graduation commencement speech is finding some profound, earth-shattering secret to success that no one has ever heard before.

Honestly? That’s a trap.

Most commencement speeches are forgettable. They’re filled with platitudes about "the journey" and "climbing mountains." If you want to actually connect with the Class of 2026, you have to stop trying to be a philosopher and start being a human. People don't remember the advice; they remember how you made them feel during those twelve minutes of their lives.

The Hook: Why Most Graduation Speeches Fail Immediately

Most speakers start with a laundry list of thank-yous. They thank the Dean, the Board of Trustees, the janitorial staff, and their third-grade teacher. While that’s polite, it kills your momentum. You’ve lost the crowd before you even got to the "good stuff."

Start with a story. Not just any story, but one that highlights a specific, messy, or even slightly embarrassing moment. David Foster Wallace, in his famous 2005 "This is Water" speech at Kenyon College, started with a joke about two young fish. It wasn't fancy. It was weirdly specific and grounded.

If you're wondering how to write a graduation commencement speech that sticks, you need to find your "fish story." Think about a time you failed. Not a "humble brag" failure where you worked too hard, but a real, "I have no idea what I'm doing" moment.

Structure is Overrated (But Clarity Isn't)

Don't worry about having five points. Three is usually plenty. Sometimes one is enough if you tell it well.

You’ve probably heard that you need a "thematic thread." That’s just a fancy way of saying you should talk about one main thing. If your theme is resilience, don't just say the word "resilience" twenty times. Show it. Describe the smell of the library at 3:00 AM when the coffee machine broke and everyone was panicking about finals.

The best speeches move like this:

  • The Grabber: A story or observation that makes people look up from their phones.
  • The Messy Middle: Where you acknowledge that the world outside school is kinda terrifying and that’s okay.
  • The "Aha" Moment: A singular piece of advice that is practical, not just poetic.
  • The Launch: A short, punchy send-off.

Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford speech is a masterclass in this. He told three stories. That’s it. He didn't use a teleprompter. He just talked about his life. He touched on being fired from Apple—the very company he started. That kind of vulnerability is what creates a "viral" moment, not a perfectly polished list of "10 Steps to Wealth."

📖 Related: Target Mens Winter Boots: Why They’re Actually Worth Your Money (and Which Ones to Avoid)

How to Write a Graduation Commencement Speech People Actually Like

Let’s talk about the "Advice Trap."

Everyone feels the need to give advice. But advice is a dangerous gift. It’s usually just the speaker talking to their younger self. If you’re giving a speech to 22-year-olds, remember that they are entering a job market influenced by generative AI, shifting climate realities, and a gig economy. Telling them to "find a stable company and work your way up" is basically useless.

Instead of broad advice, try "Micro-Advice."

Instead of "be kind," try "learn the names of the people who work in the mailroom." Instead of "be bold," try "ask for the thing you want, even if you think the answer is no." These small, actionable bits of wisdom are much more likely to be remembered when the graduation high wears off and Monday morning hits.

The Power of the "Inside Joke"

If you are an alumni or a faculty member, use the local geography. Every campus has that one building everyone hates, or that one weird tradition that makes no sense to outsiders. Use it. It proves you were there. It creates an immediate "us" vs. "the world" vibe.

Technical Tips for the Podium

Writing for the eye is different than writing for the ear. When you are learning how to write a graduation commencement speech, you have to read your drafts out loud. If you run out of breath before the end of a sentence, the sentence is too long. Cut it.

Use "The Rule of Three."

  1. Red.
  2. White.
  3. Blue.

It’s a linguistic pattern that humans find satisfying. "We worked hard, we played hard, and we survived." It has a rhythm.

Also, watch your "basicallys" and "sortas." In a casual conversation, they make you relatable. On a stage with a microphone, they can make you sound unsure. You want to be conversational, but you also want to be the person people are supposed to be listening to. It’s a delicate balance.

Dealing with the "Cringe" Factor

You will be tempted to quote Maya Angelou, Thoreau, or Steve Jobs.

Unless you have a very specific, personal reason to quote them—don't. It’s cliché. If I hear "The road less traveled" one more time at a graduation, I might actually lose it. Everyone has heard those quotes. They’ve become white noise.

If you need a quote, find one from a weird source. A comic book. A local chef. Your grandmother. A song lyric that actually means something to the graduating class. Authenticity beats "prestige" every single time.

The Timeline of the Speech

How long should it be?

Ten minutes is the sweet spot. Twelve is pushing it. Fifteen is an endurance test.

Remember, you are the only thing standing between these people and their diplomas (and the post-graduation brunch). Be brief. Be bright. Be gone.

📖 Related: Jon Gordon and The Shark and the Goldfish: Why This Simple Fable Still Changes Lives

Common Pitfalls to Avoid:

  • The "Dictionary Definition" Opening: "Webster’s defines success as..." Please, just don't. It’s the fastest way to make everyone check their watches.
  • Political Grandstanding: Unless the school is specifically a political institution, keep it focused on the students. They are the stars today.
  • Inside Stories that Only Three People Get: If you have to explain the joke for two minutes, it wasn't worth telling.

Finalizing the Script

When you’re finishing up, don't try to wrap everything up in a neat little bow. Life isn't a Hallmark card. It’s okay to acknowledge that things are messy.

In Admiral William H. McRaven’s "Make Your Bed" speech at the University of Texas, he didn't talk about grand strategies. He talked about the basic tasks of Navy SEAL training. It was grounded. It was real.

When you sit down to finalize how to write a graduation commencement speech, look at your last paragraph. Does it end on a high note? Does it give the graduates a sense of agency? You want them to feel like they can actually do the thing you’re talking about.


Actionable Next Steps for Your Speech:

  • Audit your stories: Pick three personal anecdotes. Throw out the two that make you look the best and keep the one where you actually learned something through a struggle.
  • Check the "Wait, What?" factor: Read your speech to someone who isn't in academia. If they glaze over at any point, highlight that section and cut it by 50%.
  • Format for delivery: Print your speech in 14-point font, double-spaced. Only put text on the top two-thirds of the page so your chin stays up and you keep eye contact with the audience instead of looking down at the podium.
  • The "Ten-Year" Test: Ask yourself: "Will anyone remember a single sentence of this in ten years?" If the answer is no, find one sentence and make it sharper, weirder, or more honest. That’s the one they’ll keep.
  • Practice the silence: Identify two places in your speech where you will stop talking for a full three seconds. Silence is a tool. Use it to let a point sink in or to wait for the laughter to die down.