Let's get one thing out of the way immediately. Squirting isn't some rare, magical superpower reserved for adult film stars or the "genetically gifted." It’s a physiological response. Most people can do it. But honestly, the pressure to perform this specific act has turned what should be a fun, messy explosion of pleasure into a high-stakes source of bedroom anxiety. That’s the opposite of what we want.
If you’ve been wondering how to squirt when having sex, you’ve probably seen a thousand different tutorials that make it sound like a complex engineering project. It’s not. It’s about anatomy, relaxation, and hitting the right spot with the right amount of pressure.
Relax. Seriously.
The "secret" isn't a secret at all. It is largely about the Skene’s glands, often called the female prostate. These glands sit near the urethra. When you get aroused, they fill up. When you hit the right peak, they release. Simple, right? Well, sort of. The mental block is usually the biggest hurdle. Most people feel like they’re about to pee and instinctively "clamp down." To squirt, you have to do the exact opposite. You have to let go.
What is Squirting, Actually?
For a long time, the medical community was weirdly silent about this. Or worse, they just called it "urinary incontinence." Thanks for that, guys. But researchers like Dr. Samuel Salama have actually studied the fluid. In a 2014 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers used ultrasounds and chemical analysis to see what was happening.
They found that the fluid is a mix. It’s not just "pee," though it can contain traces of urea and creatinine from the bladder. It primarily contains prostatic-specific antigen (PSA), which is produced in those Skene’s glands we mentioned.
The volume varies wildly. Sometimes it’s a few drops. Sometimes it’s a literal fountain. Neither is "better."
The G-Spot Connection
You can’t talk about how to squirt when having sex without talking about the G-spot. Or, as modern anatomy prefers to call it, the clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex. This isn't just one "button" inside the vagina. It’s a massive network of erectile tissue, nerves, and glands that wrap around the vaginal canal.
When you stimulate the anterior wall (the "front" wall, towards your belly button), you’re actually putting pressure on the roots of the clitoris and the Skene’s glands simultaneously. This is the engine room for squirting.
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The Physical Mechanics of Letting Go
You need to be hydrated. It sounds like a joke, but it’s 100% true. If you’re dehydrated, your body isn't going to produce much fluid. Drink a glass of water an hour before you plan on experimenting.
Warm up. A lot.
Don't just jump into heavy internal stimulation. The Skene’s glands need time to fill and the surrounding tissues need to be engorged with blood. Spend twenty minutes on foreplay. Use a vibrator on the clitoris to get the blood flowing. When you feel that heavy, "full" sensation in your pelvis, you’re ready to focus on the internal work.
The "Come Hither" Motion
If you’re using fingers, the technique is specific. Insert one or two fingers, palm up. Reach about two inches in and hook your fingers toward your belly button. This is the "come hither" motion.
- Use firm, consistent pressure.
- Speed matters less than rhythm.
- Don't stop when it feels intense; that’s usually when people back off.
If you're using a toy, look for something curved. Glass or silicone wands are perfect because they don't give under pressure. You want something that can stay locked onto that anterior wall while you or a partner builds the intensity.
Why the "Pee" Feeling is Your Best Friend
This is where most people fail. As the stimulation gets more intense, you will likely feel a sudden, overwhelming urge to urinate.
This is the "point of no return."
In your everyday life, your brain is trained to tighten the pelvic floor muscles when you feel this. To squirt, you have to override that survival instinct. You have to literally "push" as if you are trying to pee. This relaxes the pelvic floor and allows the Skene’s glands to contract and expel the fluid.
It’s scary the first time. You’re convinced you’re about to ruin your mattress.
Pro tip: Put down a "muff towel" or a waterproof sex blanket. Taking the fear of a messy cleanup off the table is often the final piece of the puzzle. Once you know the bed is safe, your brain finally gives your body permission to release.
Positioning for Success
Some positions make the G-spot much more accessible during penetrative sex.
- Modified Missionary: Put a couple of pillows under your hips. This angles the vagina so that a penis or toy naturally rubs against the anterior wall with every thrust.
- Cowgirl (The Lean): While on top, lean forward and put your weight on your hands. This creates a tighter angle and puts the focus directly on the Skene’s glands.
- Doggy Style (Flat): Instead of being up on all fours, lay your chest flat against the bed while your partner enters from behind. This creates a "downward" angle that hits the G-spot effectively.
Mental Barriers and E-E-A-T Perspectives
The psychological component is massive. Sex educators like Emily Nagoski (author of Come As You Are) often talk about the "accelerators" and "brakes" in our sexual response system. Anxiety, shame, or overthinking are massive "brakes."
If you’re staring at the ceiling thinking, "Is it happening yet? Why hasn't it happened?" you are actively braking.
Focus on the sensation, not the result. Squirting is a side effect of pleasure, not the goal of sex. Some of the best, most explosive orgasms involve zero fluid. And that’s totally fine.
Actionable Steps to Try Tonight
If you want to explore this, don't make it a chore. Make it an exploration.
- Hydrate: Drink about 16-24 ounces of water an hour beforehand.
- The Barrier: Lay down a heavy towel or a dedicated waterproof blanket. This removes the "mess anxiety."
- Solo First: It is often easier to learn how your body responds when you aren't worried about a partner's reactions. Use a wand or your fingers to find that "sweet spot" on the front wall.
- The Push: When you feel that "I need to go to the bathroom" sensation, take a deep breath and push out with your pelvic muscles.
- Communicate: If you are with a partner, tell them not to stop. Often, a partner sees a person reacting intensely and thinks they need to slow down. Tell them to keep the pressure steady and constant.
There is no "right" way to have an orgasm. Squirting is just one of many ways the body can react to intense stimulation. If it happens, awesome. If it doesn't, and you still had a great time, you still won.
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Focus on the "come hither" pressure, stay hydrated, and most importantly, give yourself permission to be messy. The physical release follows the mental one. Keep the pressure consistent, lean into the urge to "pee," and let your body do what it’s built to do.