You’ve probably heard it in a dozen K-dramas. A character smiles, grabs someone’s arm, and calls them chingu. It’s one of the first words anyone learns when they start getting into Korean culture. But here is the thing: if you walk up to someone older than you in Seoul and call them your chingu, things might get awkward. Fast.
Korean social structures are built on a hierarchy that most Westerners find totally dizzying at first. In English, a friend is just a friend. Your 50-year-old neighbor? Friend. Your 12-year-old cousin? Friend. That guy you met at the bar five minutes ago? Friend. In Korea, the language doesn't work that way because the culture doesn't work that way. Age is the ultimate deciding factor. If you aren't the same age, you aren't technically "friends" in the linguistic sense of the word.
It’s about respect. It’s about "sonbae" and "hoobae." It’s about a system that dates back centuries.
The Literal Answer: Chingu (친구)
If you just want the dictionary definition of how to say friend in korea, the word is chingu (친구). Specifically, the Hanja characters are 親 (chin), meaning "close," and 舊 (gu), meaning "old." So, literally, an "old closeness."
But there’s a massive catch.
In Korea, a chingu is almost exclusively someone born in the same calendar year as you. We’re talking about the exact same birth year. If you were born in 1995 and they were born in 1996, you are not chingu. You are a "hyung" (older brother) or "noona" (older sister) to them, and they are your "dongsaeng" (younger sibling). Even a one-year gap creates a vertical relationship rather than a horizontal one.
I’ve seen travelers get genuinely offended when a Korean person asks them, "How old are you?" within three minutes of meeting. It feels invasive, right? Like they’re checking your ID for a loan. Honestly, they’re just trying to figure out which verb endings to use and whether they can actually call you a friend or if they need to use a more formal title. Without knowing your age, they literally don't know how to speak to you.
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When You Can't Say Chingu
So, what happens if you’re hanging out with someone who is two years older than you? You like the same music. You both hate the same boss. You’re friends, right?
Well, you’re "friends" in the emotional sense, but you’ll never call them chingu to their face. Instead, you use kinship terms. This is where the gender of the speaker matters.
If you are male:
- Call an older male Hyung (형)
- Call an older female Noona (누나)
If you are female:
- Call an older male Oppa (오빠)
- Call an older female Unnie (언니)
Think of it as a "social glue." It creates a sense of family even among strangers. If you go to a restaurant and want the waitress’s attention, calling her "Unnie" (if you're a girl) is a way of being friendly and respectful simultaneously. It's much warmer than just saying "excuse me."
The "Same Age" Rule is Shifting (Slightly)
Interestingly, the strictness of this is softening in international circles or among younger "Gen Z" Koreans in neighborhoods like Hongdae. Some people might tell you, "Oh, we're close, just call me chingu." But don't lead with that. Always wait for the older person to give you permission to drop the formalities. This is called banmal (informal speech). Until they say, "Let's speak comfortably," you stay in your lane.
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Different Flavors of Friendship
The way you describe a friend to a third party also changes based on how close you are. You wouldn't just use the same word for a soulmate and a guy you see at the gym once a week.
Namchin and Yeochin
These are abbreviations. Namja chingu (boyfriend) and yeoja chingu (girlfriend). Be careful here. If you tell someone "This is my male friend" using namja chingu, everyone will assume you’re dating. If you want to specify a friend who happens to be a guy without the romance, you use the term Nam-sa-chin. It stands for namja saram chingu—literally "male person friend." It’s a hilarious but necessary distinction to avoid scandal.
Bepeu (베프)
This is Konglish (Korean-style English). It’s short for "Best Friend." It’s trendy, cute, and used mostly by students and young adults. If you have a "ride or die" in Seoul, they are your bepeu.
Jjin-chin (찐친)
This is even deeper. Jjin means "real" or "authentic." A jjinchin is that friend who has seen you at your absolute worst—crying over spicy rice cakes at 3 AM—and still likes you.
Professional "Friends"
In a work setting, how to say friend in korea becomes even more complicated. You almost never use the word chingu at the office. Even if you are the same age as your colleague, calling them chingu in front of the boss can look unprofessional.
Instead, you use their job title.
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- Dong-ryo (동료): Colleague or co-worker.
- Nim (님): The universal respect suffix.
If you’re talking about someone you go to school with, you use Dong-chang (동창) for alumni or Dong-gi (동기) for someone who entered the company or university in the same year as you. The "Dong-gi" bond is incredibly strong in Korea; it's a "we survived this together" kind of friendship.
Why Social Context Matters More Than Vocabulary
Language reflects the soul of a culture. In the West, we value equality and individualism. We want to be on a first-name basis as quickly as possible because it feels "real."
In Korea, the "realness" comes from knowing your place in the web of relationships. Using the "wrong" word for friend isn't just a grammar mistake; it’s a sign that you don't value the other person's status or the social harmony (un-hwa) of the group.
I remember a story from a linguist, Robert Fouser, who lived in Korea for years. He noted that even among long-term expats, the transition to using banmal (casual talk) is a major milestone. It’s not just about learning words; it’s about the person older than you finally lowering their guard and inviting you into their inner circle.
Actionable Steps for Navigating Korean Friendships
If you’re planning a trip to Korea or starting to learn the language, don't let this scare you. Koreans are generally very forgiving of foreigners. However, showing that you understand these nuances will earn you a massive amount of respect.
- Always ask for age early. Don't be shy. It’s a practical necessity. Ask, "Nai-ga eotteoke doeseyo?" (How old are you?)
- Default to "Nim" or titles. If you aren't sure, use their name followed by Nim. It’s the safest bet in any situation.
- Use kinship terms for older friends. If a guy is older than you, call him Hyung or Oppa. He will likely find it endearing and it immediately "warms up" the relationship.
- Reserve "Chingu" for peers. Only use this word for people born in your exact year unless they specifically tell you otherwise.
- Watch the body language. If you’re using informal language with a chingu, you can be loud and tactile. If you’re talking to a Hyung or Noona, even if you’re close, keep a slight edge of politeness in your posture.
Understanding how to say friend in korea is really about understanding that "friend" is a spectrum, not a single point. It’s a dance between age, status, and emotional closeness. Once you master the labels, the actual friendships become much easier to build.
Focus on the year of birth first. Everything else flows from there.