How to make your partner squirt: What most people get wrong about female ejaculation

How to make your partner squirt: What most people get wrong about female ejaculation

It's one of those things that lives in the blurry space between internet myth and biological reality. You’ve probably seen the videos. Or maybe you’ve heard a partner mention it. But honestly, most of the information out there about how to make your partner squirt is either hyper-medicalized or weirdly performative. It’s not some magic trick. It’s a physiological response that involves the Skene’s glands, located near the urethra, and it’s way more common than people think—though it doesn't always look like a Hollywood fountain.

Some people do it easily. Others never do. Both are totally normal.

The anatomy of the G-spot and Skene’s glands

Let’s get the science out of the way first. When we talk about female ejaculation or squirting, we’re mostly talking about the stimulation of the Skene’s glands, often referred to as the "female prostate." These glands are tucked right up against the anterior wall of the vagina. You’ve likely heard this called the G-spot.

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Dr. Beverly Whipple, who helped popularize the term "G-spot" in the 1980s, noted that this area is actually a complex of nerves, blood vessels, and the internal structure of the clitoris. It’s not a literal "button." It’s a region. When you apply pressure here, it can trigger a buildup of fluid in the Skene's glands.

Wait. Is it pee? This is the million-dollar question.

Studies, including a notable 2014 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, analyzed the chemical makeup of the fluid. It turns out it’s a mix. There are traces of prostatic acid phosphatase (an enzyme also found in male semen) and varying amounts of urea or creatinine. Basically, it’s a unique fluid that can sometimes be mixed with diluted urine because of where the glands are located. It’s nothing to be grossed out by. It’s just biology.

It starts with relaxation, not a checklist

You can’t force this. Seriously. If your partner feels like they’re under a microscope or being "worked on" like a science project, their pelvic floor is going to tighten up. Tension is the enemy here.

Most people who experience squirting report that it happens when they feel safe enough to "let go." There’s a specific sensation that often precedes it—a feeling of needing to urinate. This is where most people stop. They get embarrassed. They pull back. They think they’re about to have an accident on the sheets.

To actually get there, you have to push past that "I need to pee" feeling.

Try putting down a towel first. It sounds unsexy, but it removes the mental barrier of "I’m going to ruin the mattress." Once the fear of a mess is gone, the brain can stay in the moment. Communication is huge here. Just a simple, "It's okay to let go," can change the entire vibe of the encounter.

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The "Come Hither" motion is the gold standard

If you want to know how to make your partner squirt, you need to master the internal technique. Fingers are usually better than toys for this because you get real-time feedback.

  1. Use plenty of lube. Even if they seem wet, extra lubrication prevents irritation during repetitive motion.
  2. Insert one or two fingers, palms facing up toward the belly button.
  3. Reach in about two inches. You’re looking for a textured, slightly "ridged" area on the top wall of the vagina.
  4. Use a firm, rhythmic "come hither" motion.

Don't just poke. It’s a hooking motion. You want to apply pressure to that spongy tissue. Start slow. Then, as they get more aroused, you can increase the speed or the firmness.

What about the clitoris?

Don't ignore the clitoris. While the G-spot is the engine for the fluid, the clitoris is usually the engine for the pleasure. Using your other hand or a vibrator on the clitoris while you’re working the internal G-spot creates "blended" arousal. This dual stimulation often builds the necessary tension in the pelvic floor that eventually leads to a release.

Different bodies, different results

Some people have very active Skene’s glands. Others have glands that don't produce much fluid at all. This is a huge point of frustration for couples who treat squirting like a "level up" in a video game.

It isn't a requirement for a good orgasm.

In fact, many people who squirt say the sensation is intense but not necessarily "better" than a standard clitoral orgasm. It’s just different. If you’re focusing so hard on the fluid that you’re ignoring your partner's actual pleasure cues—like their breathing or the way they're moving their hips—you’re doing it wrong.

Position matters more than you think

Gravity is a factor. When your partner is on their back (missionary), it’s easiest to reach the anterior wall. However, some people find that being on top (cowgirl) allows them to control the angle and pressure themselves.

The "Coital Alignment Technique" or simply propping the hips up on a pillow can change the angle of entry just enough to hit the Skene’s glands more directly.

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Dealing with the "Pee" Anxiety

Let's circle back to this because it's the biggest hurdle. If your partner says, "Stop, I think I’m going to pee," don't stop. Encourage them to keep going. This is the moment where the body is deciding whether to contract or release. If they can breathe through that urge and keep the stimulation going, the "release" is what usually follows.

Hydration also plays a role. If someone is dehydrated, the fluid will be more concentrated. Drinking water throughout the day can make the experience feel "cleaner" and more comfortable for both people.

The role of toys

If your hands are getting tired, there are specific G-spot vibrators designed with a curved tip. These can provide a level of consistent, high-frequency vibration that fingers just can't match.

The Lelo Gigi or the Womanizer Duo are often cited by sex educators as great tools for this because they focus on that specific internal shelf. But again, a toy is just a tool. The real "trick" is the combination of high arousal, specific pressure, and the mental permission to be messy.

Actionable steps for your next session

If you want to try this tonight, don't make it the "main event." Make it a side quest.

  • Prep the space: Put a thick towel or a dedicated "sex blanket" down. This is the ultimate "permission slip" for the brain to stop worrying about the laundry.
  • Focus on the buildup: Spend 20 minutes on foreplay before even thinking about internal stimulation. The Skene’s glands need to be engorged with blood to produce fluid.
  • The "Hook" Technique: Use two fingers, palm up, and find that spongy area behind the pubic bone. Use a firm, consistent "come hither" motion.
  • Add clitoral vibes: Use a small bullet vibe or your thumb on the clitoris simultaneously.
  • Watch for the "Urine Urge": When they feel like they need to go, tell them to stay with it. This is usually the 10-second warning before ejaculation occurs.

Ultimately, understanding how to make your partner squirt is about exploring their specific map. Every body reacts differently to pressure and rhythm. Some people need very light, fast tapping; others need deep, heavy pressure. The goal should always be the pleasure itself, not the volume of fluid produced. If you both end up sweaty and happy but the towel stays dry, you still won.

The best approach is to treat it as a fun experiment. Keep the pressure low and the communication high. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, you still spent an hour focusing entirely on your partner's pleasure, which is a win in any book.

Focus on the sensations they are describing. Ask them if they want more pressure or less. If they start to feel overstimulated, back off and focus on a different area for a minute. The "release" usually happens when the physical stimulation peaks at the exact same time as the mental "letting go."

To get started, simply have a conversation outside of the bedroom. Ask them if it's something they're interested in exploring. If the answer is yes, grab a towel, get some high-quality water-based lube, and take your time. Consistency and patience are far more effective than any "secret" technique you'll find online.