Let’s be real for a second. Most guys have, at some point, wondered if they could pull it off. It’s the ultimate "desert island" skill. You’re lying in bed, feeling flexible, and you think, maybe today is the day. But then you try, and suddenly your spine feels like it’s made of dry glass and your neck is screaming for mercy. It’s way harder than the internet makes it look.
Autofellatio isn't just a niche internet search term; it’s a physical feat that sits somewhere between yoga and advanced gymnastics. If you want to know how to give yourself a blowjob, you need to understand that this isn't just about horniness. It’s about anatomy. Specifically, it’s about the length of your torso versus the flexibility of your lumbar spine.
Most people fail because they treat it like a sprint. They just double over and hope for the best. That’s how you end up with a pulled muscle and a very awkward trip to the chiropractor.
The cold, hard physics of the "self-suck"
Basically, your body is designed to protect your spinal cord. That’s why you can’t just fold in half like a piece of paper. To get your mouth to your penis, you have to overcome the natural resistance of your ribcage and your hip flexors.
Kinisiologists often point out that the human spine has limited "flexion" in the thoracic region. Most of the bending happens in the lower back (the lumbar) and the neck (the cervical). If you have a long torso and short legs, you’re already at a massive disadvantage. Conversely, if you’re "built like a Corgi"—short torso, long limbs—you might have a fighting chance.
It’s also worth noting that your "size" matters, but not how you think. A longer penis obviously bridges the gap faster, but if you can’t get your head past your stomach, the length won't save you.
Preparation is more than just stretching
Don't just dive in. Seriously. You’ve got to warm up. Think about what you're asking your body to do. You are asking your vertebrae to compress in a way they almost never do.
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Start with some basic cat-cow stretches. You know the ones from yoga? Get on all fours, arch your back, then tuck your chin and round your spine. Do this for five minutes. It gets the synovial fluid moving between your discs. Honestly, if you don't do this, you're going to feel like an old man the next morning.
Next, focus on your hamstrings. This sounds weird, right? Why do legs matter? Because tight hamstrings pull on your pelvis. If your pelvis is "locked" by tight hamstrings, you can’t tilt it forward enough to meet your face. Touch your toes. Keep your knees slightly bent if you have to, but feel that pull in the back of your legs.
The "Plow Pose" Method
In the world of autofellatio, the "Plow Pose" (Halasana in yoga) is basically the gold standard.
- Lie on your back on a soft surface. A bed is okay, but a yoga mat on a rug is better because it offers more stability.
- Lift your legs over your head.
- Slowly let your feet drop toward the floor behind your head.
- Use your hands to support your lower back.
This is the closest most men will ever get. From this position, gravity is working with you. Your "equipment" is hanging down toward your face. But here’s the kicker: breathing. When you’re folded like this, your lungs are compressed. You’ll find you can only take shallow sips of air. Don't panic. Panic leads to muscle tension, and tension stops the bend.
Why it feels more like "giving" than "receiving"
There’s a common saying in the community: it feels 80% like giving a blowjob and 20% like getting one.
When you’re the one doing the work, your brain is occupied. It's focused on the strain in your neck, the weird taste of your own skin, and the fact that you’re staring at your own belly button. The "sensory crossover" is real. Because your brain is receiving signals from both your mouth and your penis simultaneously, it can sometimes feel overwhelming or, strangely, like nothing at all.
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Alfred Kinsey, the famous sexologist, actually documented autofellatio in his 1948 report, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. He estimated that only about 2% to 3% of men can actually achieve full contact. It’s a rare club. If you can’t do it, you’re in the vast majority.
The risks nobody mentions
Let’s talk about the "snap." No, not that snap. The neck snap.
Hyperflexion of the cervical spine is dangerous. If you force your head down too hard, you can risk a "stinger" (nerve pinch) or, in extreme cases, a herniated disc. If you feel a sharp, electric shock sensation running down your arm, stop immediately. That’s your nervous system telling you that you’re about to do permanent damage.
Also, there’s the "vasovagal" response. Bending over deeply while holding your breath or straining can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure. People have literally passed out mid-attempt. Imagine being found like that. Not great.
Propping and Pillows
If the Plow Pose feels too intense, some guys use the "wedge" method.
- Stack three or four firm pillows against a wall.
- Sit with your back against them.
- Slide down until your butt is elevated and your back is curved into a "C" shape.
- Bring your knees up to your chest.
This takes some of the strain off your neck and puts it on your mid-back. It’s generally considered "safer" for beginners, though still plenty difficult.
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The mental hurdle
Honestly, even if you’re flexible enough, there’s a psychological barrier. You’re looking at yourself in a way you never have before. It’s intimate, but it’s also clinical. Some men find it incredibly empowering—a way to be totally self-sufficient. Others find it kind of "mood-killing" once they realize how much effort is involved.
It’s not like the movies. There’s no music. It’s just you, the sound of your own strained breathing, and a lot of sweat.
Actionable steps for the determined
If you’re serious about learning how to give yourself a blowjob, you need a training regimen. You wouldn't try to run a marathon without training, right?
- Daily Stretching: Focus on "Happy Baby" pose and "Plow Pose." Hold these for 30–60 seconds every night before bed.
- Core Strength: A strong core allows you to hold the fold without using your hands, which frees them up for... other things. Planks and leg raises are your friends here.
- Weight Management: It sounds blunt, but a large stomach acts as a physical "stop" to your bending. The less "stuff" between your chest and your lap, the easier the geometry becomes.
- Hydration: Sounds cliché, but hydrated muscles are more elastic.
- Know When to Quit: If you’ve been trying for 20 minutes and you’re still three inches away, you’re not going to get there tonight. Your muscles will eventually tighten up from the effort, making you less flexible as the session goes on.
The most important thing to remember is that your worth isn't tied to your flexibility. If you can do it, cool. You’ve got a party trick that you can never tell anyone about. If you can’t, join the other 98% of us who just have to rely on someone else—or our own hands.
Focus on slow progress. Treat it like a fitness goal. Listen to your spine. If it hurts in a "stabbing" way rather than a "stretching" way, back off. Your back has to last you a lifetime; a few seconds of self-satisfaction isn't worth a lifetime of chronic pain.