Let's be real for a second. There is a lot of noise online about "squirting." You've probably seen the videos or read the forum threads that make it look like a fire hose situation, leaving you wondering if your body is just... broken. It isn't. Honestly, the biggest hurdle for most people trying to figure out how to get yourself to squirt isn't a lack of technique, but a massive amount of performance anxiety fueled by unrealistic expectations.
Female ejaculation is a biological reality, but it’s been wrapped in so much mystery and adult-industry exaggeration that the actual facts have been buried. It’s not a requirement for a good sex life. It’s not even a requirement for a great orgasm. But if you’re curious about how it works and want to explore that side of your anatomy, you’ve gotta start with the actual biology, not the hype.
What Is Actually Happening?
For a long time, doctors were kinda dismissive about this. They thought it was just "urinary incontinence." But research, including studies published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, has shown that the fluid expelled during female ejaculation is distinct from typical urine. It often contains prostatic-specific acid phosphatase (PSA) and glucose, which suggests it originates from the Skene’s glands. These glands are essentially the female equivalent of the prostate.
They sit near the urethra. When you get aroused, they can fill with fluid.
But here is the kicker: for many people, the fluid does contain urea or creatinine, meaning it is a mix of Skene's gland secretions and diluted urine from the bladder. This is why you might feel like you "have to go" right before it happens. If you fight that feeling because you're scared of an accident, you’ll probably never experience it. You have to lean into that "I'm about to pee" sensation. It's a mental game as much as a physical one.
The Role of the G-Spot
You can't really talk about how to get yourself to squirt without talking about the G-spot, or the Grafenberg spot. It’s not actually a "spot" like a button you press. It’s more of an area on the front wall of the vagina, about one to three inches inside. It’s actually part of the internal clitoral structure and the Skene’s glands.
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When you stimulate this area, it swells.
To find it, use a "come hither" motion with your fingers. Feel for a texture that's slightly different—kinda like a walnut or a ribbed surface compared to the smooth surrounding tissue. This area is highly sensitive to pressure. Most people find that firm, rhythmic pulsing works better than a light touch.
Preparation and the Mental Block
Relaxation is everything. If you are tensed up, trying to "force" it to happen, your pelvic floor muscles will tighten. This effectively closes the door. You need to be in a space where you feel completely safe making a mess. Seriously. Put down some towels. Use a waterproof blanket. If you're worried about the laundry, you aren't going to let go.
Hydration matters too. You can't expel fluid if you're dehydrated. Drink a glass or two of water an hour before, but don't overdo it to the point of discomfort. You want your bladder to have something in it, but not be painfully full.
Position and Technique
There isn't one "magic" position, but some make it easier to hit the right angles.
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- On your back with pillows: Prop your hips up. This tilts the pelvis and makes the G-spot more accessible to fingers or a toy.
- The "Squat": Being in a squatting position can naturally open the pelvic floor.
- Using Toys: Many people find that high-intensity vibrations are too much, while others need them. A curved G-spot vibrator that targets the front wall while you use your other hand for clitoral stimulation is a common "hack."
The trick is often "dual stimulation." While you are focusing on the internal pressure of the G-spot, don't ignore the clisitoris. The two are connected. Increasing overall arousal levels makes the Skene's glands more likely to fill and release.
The Sensation of Letting Go
This is where it gets tricky. Right before it happens, most people report a very intense urge to urinate. It’s a "point of no return" feeling. Your brain will scream at you to stop so you don't pee the bed. This is the moment where you have to consciously decide to push out rather than pulling in.
It’s a release of the pelvic floor.
Dr. Beverly Whipple, who co-authored The G Spot, has noted in her research that the physiological response involves a contraction of the pelvic muscles followed by a release. If you're doing Kegels, stop. You want the opposite of a Kegel in that moment. Think about the muscles you use to bear down.
Common Misconceptions That Get in the Way
One of the biggest lies is that it’s supposed to happen every time. It doesn't. For some, it’s a once-in-a-blue-moon event. For others, it’s a regular part of their climax. Neither is "better."
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Another myth is that it's always a huge volume of fluid. Sometimes it’s just a few drops. The "porn style" squirting is often achieved by the performer having a very full bladder and essentially urinating on command, which is a different physiological process than the release of Skene's fluid during arousal. Don't compare your body to a scripted performance.
Specific Steps to Try Tonight
If you want to explore this, don't make it the "goal" of the night. Make exploration the goal.
- Set the scene. Towels down. Lights low. Zero pressure.
- Get yourself very aroused first. Don't jump straight to G-spot stimulation. Spend 15-20 minutes on general foreplay or clitoral stimulation.
- Introduce internal pressure. Use your fingers (palm up) to find that textured area on the front wall.
- Use plenty of lube. Even if you feel "wet," extra lube reduces friction and allows for firmer pressure without irritation.
- Rhythm is key. Once you find a pace that feels good, stay there. Don't speed up or change the angle just because you feel close. Consistency helps the sensation build.
- The "Push." When that "I need to pee" feeling hits, take a deep breath and push out with your pelvic muscles.
A Note on Anatomy and Variety
Everyone’s Skene’s glands are a different size. Some people have very active glands, and some have almost none. That is perfectly normal. If you try all the techniques and it doesn't happen, it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It just means your body expresses pleasure differently.
The focus should always be on how it feels, not what it looks like. The obsession with the "visual" of sex is a side effect of the internet, but real-life pleasure is internal.
Actionable Next Steps
Start by exploring your own anatomy without a partner first. This removes the "performance" aspect. Use a mirror to see where things are. Experiment with different types of pressure—some prefer a tapping motion, others prefer a firm, steady "come hither" drag.
Invest in a G-spot specific toy if fingers are getting tired; look for something with a firm, curved tip. Most importantly, practice the "release" sensation during non-sexual moments. Learn how to consciously relax your pelvic floor muscles (the "Reverse Kegel"). Being able to drop that tension on command is the most valuable skill you can develop for this specific experience.