So, your best friend just asked you to officiate their wedding. It’s a huge honor, right? Then the panic sets in. You realize you aren’t a priest, a rabbi, or a judge. You’re just... you. Now you’re scouring the internet trying to figure out how to get ordained to marry people before the big day arrives in six months.
Honestly, it’s easier than you think, but it's also way more bureaucratic than most people realize. You can get "ordained" online in about five minutes. That’s the easy part. The hard part is making sure the specific county clerk in a random town in Ohio or Virginia actually recognizes your digital certificate as valid. If you mess that up, the marriage isn't legal. That’s a bad day for everyone.
Why the "Internet Minister" thing actually works
Most people go through organizations like the Universal Life Church (ULC) or American Marriage Ministries (AMM). These groups have been fighting legal battles for decades to ensure that "nontraditional" ordinations are treated the same as those from established brick-and-mortar churches.
It’s based on the First Amendment.
Because the government can’t really define what a "real" religion is without overstepping, these online ordinations carry legal weight in most of the United States. You sign up, you get an email, and suddenly you’re a minister. It feels like a loophole. It kind of is. But it’s a legal one that millions of people have used.
The legal patchwork you can’t ignore
Every state is a different universe.
In California, it’s a breeze. You show up with your credentials, or sometimes you don't even need to register with the county at all; you just sign the license. But then you look at a place like Virginia or parts of Pennsylvania. Virginia is notoriously picky. Some judges there have historically refused to recognize ministers ordained online, requiring officiants to be "resident" ministers with a physical congregation.
If you’re officiating in New York City, you have to register with the City Clerk’s office specifically. You can’t just roll up to Central Park with your ULC printout and start the ceremony. You need to pay a small fee, show your ID, and get added to their official database of registered officiants.
Failure to check local statutes is the number one way weddings get ruined.
Step one is always the Minister's credential
You need to pick a path. The Universal Life Church is the "old guard." They’ve been around since the 50s. Their whole vibe is "do that which is right," and they ordain anyone regardless of belief.
Then there’s American Marriage Ministries. They are a 501(c)(3) non-profit and they focus specifically on the right of people to choose who marries them. Their website is a bit more modern and user-friendly for wedding-specific needs.
👉 See also: Why the Man Black Hair Blue Eyes Combo is So Rare (and the Genetics Behind It)
Go to their site.
Fill out the form.
Use your legal name—no nicknames here, because this has to match your government ID.
Hit submit.
You’re ordained. You’ll get a confirmation email immediately.
But wait, you need the "Package"
The ordination itself is usually free. The "business" of these organizations is selling you the physical proof. Most states require a "Letter of Good Standing" or an "Ordination Credential" with a gold seal.
Don't be cheap here.
Order the official credentials. Get the ones with the raised seal. Many county clerks will not accept a printed PDF from your home InkJet printer. They want to see the "official" stationery. It usually costs between $30 and $50. It’s a small price to pay to ensure the couple is actually, legally married when the party is over.
The Secret Boss: The County Clerk
This is the most important advice you will get: Call the county clerk's office where the wedding is actually taking place.
Don't call the clerk where you live.
Don't call the clerk where the couple lives.
Call the clerk in the jurisdiction where the venue is located.
Ask them three specific questions:
- "Does your county recognize ministers ordained by the Universal Life Church or American Marriage Ministries?"
- "Do I need to register with your office before the ceremony?"
- "What specific documents do I need to bring or mail in?"
Some clerks are super chill. Others will treat you like you’re trying to commit international fraud. Get their name. Note the date you called. If they say you need a "notarized copy of your ordination," get it notarized.
Understanding the Marriage License vs. the Certificate
You, the officiant, do not get the marriage license. The couple does.
✨ Don't miss: Chuck E. Cheese in Boca Raton: Why This Location Still Wins Over Parents
They go to the clerk, they pay the fee, and they get a piece of paper that says they are allowed to get married. They bring that paper to you on the wedding day.
After the "I dos," you fill out your section. You’ll need to write in your title (usually "Minister" or "Officiant"), the location of the wedding, and your signature. Then, you—or sometimes the couple, depending on state law—must return that signed license to the clerk within a specific timeframe. Usually, it's 10 days.
If you forget to mail that paper, they aren't married. You have one job. Don't lose the paper.
The "One-Day Officiant" Alternative
Some states, like Massachusetts or California, have a "Deputy Commissioner for a Day" or "One-Day Designation" program.
This is actually pretty cool.
Instead of getting ordained through a church, you apply directly to the state government. You pay a fee (in Massachusetts, it's about $25), and the Governor's office basically gives you a temporary legal pass to perform one specific wedding on one specific day.
It’s cleaner for people who are staunchly secular and feel weird about joining a "church" just to marry their friends. However, it usually involves more lead time. You can't do this the day before. You often need to apply weeks or months in advance.
Making the ceremony not suck
Once the legalities are handled, you actually have to give a speech.
Don't make it about you.
I’ve seen way too many amateur officiants spend 15 minutes talking about their own friendship with the groom while the bride stands there in heels wondering when she can sit down. You are the facilitator, not the star.
🔗 Read more: The Betta Fish in Vase with Plant Setup: Why Your Fish Is Probably Miserable
- Keep the "homily" or personal talk under 5 minutes.
- Print your script. Do not read it off a cracked iPhone screen with notifications popping up.
- Tell the guests to sit down. People often stay standing after the bride walks in because no one told them they could sit. It’s awkward.
The "Power" of the Pronouncement
There is a moment at the end where you say, "By the power vested in me by the State of [State Name], I now pronounce you..."
That "power vested in me" part is why you did all that paperwork. It’s the moment the contract becomes binding.
Ensure you have the couple’s full legal names correct. Check the pronunciation of the last name if they are changing it. There is nothing worse than screaming "Mr. and Mrs. Smith!" when they actually decided to hyphenate to "Smith-Jones."
Common Pitfalls and Weird Laws
Did you know that in some parts of Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, you can do a "Self-Uniting" marriage? It’s a Quaker tradition. No officiant is needed at all. The couple just signs the paper with a few witnesses.
If you’re officiating a wedding in one of these "Self-Uniting" states, your role is more ceremonial than legal, but you still need to be careful about how the license is filled out so you don't void it.
Then there’s the witness requirement.
Most states require two witnesses over the age of 18 to sign the license along with you. Some states require none. Some require one. If you’re at a tiny elopement in the woods, make sure you’ve accounted for who is going to sign those witness lines. If it’s just you, the couple, and a photographer, the photographer is usually the designated witness.
Actionable Steps to Get It Done Today
If you want to get this moving, stop overthinking and follow this sequence:
- Verify the Location: Confirm the exact county and state where the ceremony will happen.
- Get Ordained: Visit Universal Life Church or American Marriage Ministries and complete the online registration. It takes less time than ordering a pizza.
- Buy the Credentials: Purchase the "Official Ministry Gallery" or "Classic Wedding Kit." You need the physical papers.
- Call the Clerk: This is the non-negotiable step. Call the local county clerk and confirm their specific requirements for online-ordained ministers.
- Check the Deadlines: Some states require the couple to have the license for 24-72 hours before the ceremony (a waiting period), and most licenses expire after 30 to 90 days.
- Practice the Script: Read it out loud. Seriously. Your brain processes written words differently than your mouth speaks them. You’ll find tongue-twisters you didn't know were there.
The legal weight of a marriage rests on your shoulders, but as long as you respect the paperwork as much as the sentiment, you'll be fine. Get the seals, call the clerk, and keep the license in a waterproof folder.
Marriage is a legal contract wrapped in a party. Your job is to make sure the contract is bulletproof so the party can happen without a hitch.