You’re staring at a registry. There’s a $400 stand mixer, a $25 set of silicone spatulas, and a whole lot of "group gift" options that feel vaguely like a math test. Then it hits you. You’ve still got the wedding gift to buy, plus the bachelorette party in Nashville, and suddenly your bank account is sweating. Honestly, figuring out how much to give bridal shower honorees shouldn't feel like negotiating a corporate merger, but here we are.
Etiquette isn't what it used to be. Back in the day, a toaster was a splurge. Now, with inflation and the rise of "experience" registries, the social pressure is real.
The short answer? There is no legal mandate. But there are social consequences, or at least, the nagging feeling that you might be the "cheap" friend. Let’s break down what people are actually spending right now, why the "cover your plate" rule is basically a myth, and how to handle the awkwardness of a tight budget without looking like a Scrooge.
The Standard Brackets: What Most People Actually Spend
Forget the old-school etiquette books for a second. In 2026, the cost of living has shifted the "polite" minimum. If you're looking for a quick number, most guests land between $50 and $150. But that's a wide gap.
If you are a coworker or a casual acquaintance, $50 is perfectly respectable. You’re there to celebrate, eat a chicken salad croissant, and watch someone open ribbons. You aren't expected to fund their honeymoon. For close friends or cousins, the needle moves toward $75 or $100. If you’re the Maid of Honor or a sibling? Yeah, you’re probably looking at $150 or more, especially if you aren't already footing the bill for the mimosas and the balloon arch.
It’s a tiered system. Sorta.
Think about your relationship first. A study by The Knot has historically shown that guests spend about 20% of their total wedding-gift budget on the shower. If you planned on spending $200 total on the couple, $40 to $50 goes to the shower, and the rest is for the big day. It’s a solid rule of thumb that keeps your finances from spiraling.
Why the "Price Per Plate" Rule is Total Nonsense
Some people will tell you to estimate the cost of the brunch and match that in your gift. Stop. Just stop.
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First off, you have no idea what the hosts are paying. Maybe the Mother of the Bride got a deal at a local bistro, or maybe they’re hosting at a high-end botanical garden. Your gift is a gesture of affection, not a reimbursement for your salad.
If a shower is particularly lavish, that’s a choice the hosts made. You shouldn't feel obligated to pay a "cover charge" to attend a friend’s party. Conversely, if the shower is a low-key backyard tea, it doesn’t mean you should lowball the gift if the bride is your best friend since kindergarten.
The Registry vs. Cash Dilemma
The bridal shower is one of the few remaining bastions of physical gift-giving. While weddings have moved almost entirely toward cash funds and Venmo links, showers are still very much about the "unboxing" experience.
If there is a registry, use it.
Brides spend hours scanning items they actually need. Buying off-registry is a gamble. You might think that vintage-style birdcage is "so her," but she might just see it as more clutter in a 700-square-foot apartment.
- Cash is okay, but make it cute. If you're giving money, don't just hand over a twenty. Put it in a nice card with a handwritten note.
- The "Theme" Exception. If the invite says "Stock the Bar" or "Lingerie Shower," stick to the theme. Bringing a crockpot to a lingerie shower is... awkward.
- Group Gifting. This is the secret weapon for 2026. If the only things left on the registry are a $600 espresso machine and a single whisk, grab three friends and split the big item. It looks more impressive and saves you from buying the lonely whisk.
When You’re in the Wedding Party
This is where it gets sticky. If you’re a bridesmaid, you’re already bleeding cash. Between the dress, the shoes, the hair, the makeup, and the bachelorette party, you might feel like you’ve already given enough.
Technically, bridesmaids are still expected to give a shower gift.
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However, many bridal parties choose to chip in for one massive "wow" gift together. This is usually the move. It satisfies the etiquette requirement without forcing everyone to buy an individual gift on top of the thousands they’re already spending. If the bridesmaids are hosting the shower, their contribution to the food and decor is often considered part of their "gift," but most still bring a small token. Honestly, a thoughtful, sentimental gift often carries more weight here than a pricey one.
Handling the "No Gift" Request
Lately, more couples are opting for "display showers" or specifically asking for "no gifts."
Believe them.
If the invite says "your presence is the only gift we require," don't try to be the hero who brings a giant box anyway. It can actually make other guests feel uncomfortable. In this case, a really beautiful card or a bottle of wine is plenty.
Real-World Scenarios and Nuance
Let's talk about the "I can't go" situation. If you decline the invite, do you still have to send a gift?
If you’re close to the bride, yes. Send something small. It shows you’re there in spirit. If you barely know the person and you’re not attending, a gift isn’t strictly necessary, though a card is a class act.
What about back-to-back events? Some social circles have a shower, a bridesmaid luncheon, and a wedding. If you're attending multiple pre-wedding events, you can scale back the individual cost of each gift. Nobody expects you to drop $100 three times in two months.
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Cultural and Regional Variations
Geography matters more than people admit. In New York City or Los Angeles, the baseline for how much to give bridal shower guests might start at $100. In smaller towns or rural areas, $30 to $50 is still the gold standard.
Cultural traditions also play a huge role. In some Italian-American or Jewish-American circles, cash is the only way to go, and the amounts are expected to be more substantial. Always read the room. If you’re unsure, ask another guest who knows the family’s vibe. There’s no shame in a quick "Hey, what are we all spending on this?" text in the group chat.
The Budget-Friendly Pivot
If you’re broke—and let’s be real, a lot of us are—don’t skip the shower out of embarrassment.
Personalization is the great equalizer. A $20 wooden cutting board from a discount store becomes a $100 heirloom if you get it engraved with the couple's new last name or wedding date.
Handmade gifts, if you actually have the skill, are also huge. A hand-knit throw or a framed watercolor of their first apartment beats a generic toaster any day. The goal is to show the bride she’s seen and celebrated.
Making the Final Decision
At the end of the day, your financial health is more important than a registry. The bride wants you there because she likes you, not because she wants your $60.
Determine your "Total Wedding Spend" for this specific couple. Subtract what you need for travel and the wedding gift. Whatever is left is your shower budget. If that number is $35, find the best $35 gift on that registry and hold your head high.
Actionable Next Steps
- Check the Registry Early. The "affordable" gifts (the $40–$60 range) always go first. If you wait until the week before, you’ll be stuck choosing between a $5 measuring spoon or a $500 vacuum.
- Audit Your Calendar. If you have three weddings this summer, set a firm "per shower" limit now so you don't run out of money by August.
- Think Beyond the Box. If the registry is picked over, consider a gift card to the same store. It’s practical, and the couple can use it to buy the high-priced items that nobody bought.
- Write the Card First. Often, the sentiment in the card is what the bride remembers. Mention a specific memory or why you chose that specific gift. It adds "perceived value" that money can't buy.
Ultimately, the right amount is the one that lets you toast the bride without resentment. Pay what you can afford, focus on the celebration, and don't overthink the price tag.