You're standing there with a beer in one hand and a mental list of your fifteen best friends in the other. Or maybe you’re the opposite. Maybe you’re staring at your phone, realizing you only have one person you actually want standing next to you at the altar, and you’re wondering if that’s going to look "weird" in the photos.
Honestly, the question of how many groomsmen can you have is less about etiquette books from the 1950s and more about the logistics of your specific venue and your own social bandwidth. There is no law. There is no wedding police force that’s going to burst through the doors of the chapel because you have an uneven number of people in suits.
Most guys get stuck in this trap of thinking they need to match the bridesmaids perfectly. That’s a myth. It's a total fabrication born out of a desire for symmetrical photos, but guess what? A good photographer knows how to pose an uneven group. If your partner has four bridesmaids and you have seven guys you’d take a bullet for, bring all seven. If you have two, bring two.
The Average vs. The Reality
According to data from The Knot’s Real Weddings Study, the average number of groomsmen usually hovers around four or five. But averages are just that—averages. They include the "micro-weddings" that became a massive trend around 2020 and the massive, 400-person Greek-style blowouts where the wedding party looks like a small infantry division.
I’ve seen weddings with twelve groomsmen. It was chaotic. Getting twelve grown men to show up at the same place, at the same time, in the right socks, is basically a full-time management job. On the flip side, I've seen grooms go solo. Just them and the officiant. Both are valid.
Why the "Rule of Three" is outdated
There used to be this weird social suggestion that you should have one groomsman for every 50 guests. The idea was that they were there to act as ushers and crowd control. In 2026, that’s just not how it works. Most venues have their own staff for that. Your groomsmen are there for moral support, the bachelor party, and to make sure you don't pass out from dehydration before the "I do's."
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If you’re wondering how many groomsmen can you have before it gets ridiculous, think about the altar space. If you’re getting married in a tiny, historic chapel in Charleston, twelve guys are going to be sweating on top of each other. If you’re outside on a 40-acre farm? Go nuts. Fill the horizon with tuxedos.
The Financial Burden Nobody Talks About
We need to be real for a second. Being a groomsman is expensive. Between the suit rental (or purchase), the bachelor party trip to Nashville or Scottsdale, the hotel room, and the gift, your friends are looking at a $1,000 to $2,500 commitment.
When you ask, "How many groomsmen should I have?" you also have to ask, "How many of my friends can currently afford this?" It sounds harsh, but it’s a factor. If you have a huge group, the "group chat" becomes a nightmare of varying budgets and schedules. Sometimes, keeping the circle smaller is actually a mercy to your friends.
What Happens When the Numbers Don't Match?
This is the biggest anxiety point. "She has five, I have three. Help."
Relax.
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Modern wedding planners like Mindy Weiss, who has handled massive celebrity events, have been vocal about the fact that symmetry is dead. You can have groomsmen walk down the aisle solo. You can have one bridesmaid escorted by two groomsmen—one on each arm. It looks like a power move, honestly. Or, you just have everyone enter from the sides.
The lopsided wedding party is actually a great way to show that you aren't treating your wedding like a corporate presentation. It’s a celebration of people, not a geometry project.
The "Groomswoman" and the "Best Woman"
Another thing to consider when figuring out how many groomsmen can you have is that the gender of those people doesn't matter anymore. If your best friend is a woman, she’s a groomsman. Or a groomswoman. Whatever you want to call it. This adds another layer to the "count." You shouldn't exclude your sister or your female best friend just because you're worried about the headcount of "guys" vs. "girls."
Large Groups: The Logistics of Chaos
If you decide to go big—let’s say eight or more—you need to prepare for the logistics.
- Transportation: A standard limo won't fit you, your spouse, and sixteen other people. You’re looking at a party bus.
- Communication: Group chats with 10+ men are where productivity goes to die. You will get 400 notifications about a meme and zero responses about who still needs to get their hem measured.
- Gifts: Buying eight high-quality "thank you" gifts adds up. If you're doing something like engraved watches or nice leather bags, that's a significant chunk of your budget.
Small Groups: The Intimacy Factor
Having just one or two people—maybe just a Best Man—is becoming incredibly popular. It’s low stress. You spend your wedding morning hanging out with your absolute closest person rather than managing a crowd. It feels more "real" to some people. Plus, the photos of a small group often look more timeless and less like a high school football team photo.
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The Hard Cut-Off
Sometimes you have ten friends, but you only want four. How do you handle the "cut-off"?
It’s awkward. There’s no way around it. But the best way to handle it is to be upfront. Tell the guys who didn't make the cut that you wanted to keep the "official" party small for budget/space reasons, but you still want them at the bachelor party. Most guys are actually secretly relieved they don't have to buy a specific $300 suit they'll never wear again.
Actionable Steps for Deciding Your Number
Stop looking at Pinterest and start looking at your actual life. Here is how you actually land on a number without losing your mind.
- Check the venue dimensions. Ask the coordinator how many people can comfortably stand on the "stage" or at the front of the room. If the limit is five and you want eight, three of them are going to be standing on the floor level, which looks a bit disjointed.
- Audit your "inner circle." If you haven't spoken to a guy in two years, he doesn't need to be in your wedding party just because you were in his. Wedding reciprocity is a lie. You don't "owe" anyone a spot.
- Talk to your partner about the "feel." If they are envisioning a tiny, intimate ceremony and you want 10 guys, there’s a middle ground. Maybe you have three "official" groomsmen and the rest are "ushers" who wear a matching tie but sit in the front row.
- Calculate the cost. Multiply your "thank you" gift budget by the number of guys. If that number makes you wince, trim the list.
- Forget the "even numbers" rule. Seriously. Let it go. If the numbers are uneven, let the wedding party walk in single file or in mixed groups.
The bottom line is that how many groomsmen can you have is a question with a very simple answer: as many as you can afford to feed and as many as you actually want by your side when you make the biggest commitment of your life. If that’s one person, great. If it’s twelve, enjoy the chaos. Just make sure someone has the rings.
To finalize your decision, take five minutes right now and write down the names of the people you would call if your car broke down at 3:00 AM. Those are your groomsmen. Anyone else is just a guest.
Start by reaching out to your "must-haves" individually before starting any group chats. This keeps the initial circle tight and prevents any "alphabet soup" of names and expectations from forming too early in the planning process. Once you have your core group confirmed, you can look at the remaining space and budget to see if there is room for the "maybe" list, but never feel pressured to expand just for the sake of a photo.
Your wedding is a day, but these friendships are for the long haul. Choose the people who have actually been there for the journey, not just the ones who look good in a lineup.