So, you’re engaged. First off, congrats. You’ve probably already realized that the moment that ring slipped on your finger, a giant invisible clock started ticking in the background. It’s stressful. One of the first things people actually ask you—besides "Can I see the ring?"—is when the wedding is. You need to tell them. But sending that notification too early or too late can actually mess up your guest count or, worse, leave your favorite aunt booked for a cruise she can't cancel.
Figuring out how far in advance for save the dates you should be aiming for isn't just about etiquette; it’s about logistics. Honestly, the old-school rules are kinda dead. People travel more now. Work schedules are weirder. If you stick to the rigid "six months" rule your mom remembers, you might end up with a very empty dance floor.
The Standard Sweet Spot
For a local wedding where most guests live within a two-hour drive, the standard window is six to eight months. That’s the baseline. It gives people enough time to clear their weekend but isn't so far away that they lose the card under a pile of mail. If you send them a year out for a local wedding, guests often forget to actually put it in their digital calendars. They think, "Oh, I have plenty of time," and then they book a weekend trip to Vegas three days before your big day.
Six months is safe. Eight months is polite.
Don't overthink the design at this stage, either. You don't need your full color palette or your floral arrangements figured out yet. You just need a date and a city. According to wedding industry experts like the team at The Knot, the save the date is a functional tool first and a piece of stationery second. It’s the "heads up" before the formal invitation, which usually drops about eight weeks before the wedding.
Why Destination Weddings Change Everything
If you’re getting married in Tuscany or even just a three-day drive away in the mountains, you have to move faster. Much faster. For destination weddings, you should be looking at eight to twelve months. Twelve is better.
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Think about it. Your guests need to book flights. They need to request PTO. Maybe they need to renew a passport. If you wait until six months out to tell someone they need to fly to Cabo, you’re basically asking them to spend $2,000 with very little notice. It’s a big ask. Giving them a full year allows them to track flight prices and save up.
I’ve seen couples wait too long because they were "waiting for the perfect engagement photos." Don't do that. Your guests care more about the date than your professional photos. If the choice is between a "perfect" card sent five months late and a simple text-based card sent on time, choose the on-time version every single time.
Holiday Weekends and "The Competition"
Is your wedding on Labor Day? New Year’s Eve? 4th of July?
You’re competing with family traditions. Most people plan their 4th of July lake trips or New Year’s parties months or even a year in advance. If you’re eyeing a holiday weekend, you need to get that save the date out at least nine to ten months early. You have to "claim" your guests before their cousin invites them to the annual backyard BBQ.
Also, keep in mind that hotel blocks fill up faster on holidays. If you send your notice early, your guests can grab those discounted rooms before the general public snags them for the holiday. It’s a courtesy thing. You’re making their lives easier.
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The Digital vs. Paper Debate
Let’s talk about the actual medium. Does it have to be a physical card? Not necessarily.
Digital save the dates have become massive since 2020. They’re faster. They’re cheaper. They’re easier to track. Sites like Paperless Post or Zola allow you to see who has actually opened the email. This is huge. If you’re worried about how far in advance for save the dates to send, digital gives you a week of "buffer" time because there’s no shipping or printing delay.
However, paper still feels more "official." For older guests, a physical card on the fridge is a constant visual reminder. If your crowd is mostly Gen Z or tech-savvy Millennials, an email is fine. If you have a lot of Great Aunts and Grandparents, go with the paper. Or do a mix. It’s your wedding; there aren't any police coming to arrest you for sending an email.
Common Mistakes That Ruin the Timeline
One major mistake is sending save the dates before your venue contract is signed. Never, ever do this. I know you’re excited. I know the venue said the date is "available." But until that deposit is paid and the contract is countersigned, that date doesn't exist. Venues double-book. Owners change their minds. If you send out 150 cards and then the venue falls through, you have to send 150 "oops" cards. It’s a nightmare.
Another blunder? Sending them to people you aren't 100% sure about. Once a save the date goes out, you are legally (okay, socially) obligated to send an invitation. You can't "un-save" a date. If you’re on the fence about inviting your coworkers, wait. Don't send them a save the date until you are certain they are on the final list.
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When is it TOO early?
Believe it or not, you can be too organized. Sending a save the date more than 12 months in advance is usually a bad idea. Why? Because people get confused about the year. If it’s June 2025 and you send a card for June 2026, some people will genuinely think you mean this month. Plus, most hotel blocks and airline schedules don't even open until 11 months out. If they can’t act on the information, the information is less useful.
Nuance: The "B-List" Strategy
We don't like to talk about it, but most people have a B-list. These are the people you want to invite if your main list has a lot of "no" RSVPs.
If you’re doing a B-list, do not send them save the dates. Save the dates are for the A-list only. If a B-list guest gets a save the date, they expect an invitation. If you then don't have room for them, you've created a very awkward situation. Only send these cards to the people who are guaranteed a spot at the table.
A Quick Summary of Timelines
- Local Wedding: 6 to 8 months.
- Domestic Destination (requires a flight): 8 to 10 months.
- International Destination: 10 to 12 months.
- Holiday Weekend: 9 to 12 months.
- Extremely Small/Elopement Celebration: 4 to 6 months.
Real World Scenario: The Peak Season Struggle
If you are getting married in a "wedding town" during peak season—think Newport, Rhode Island in August or Aspen in January—you need to lean toward the earlier side of these windows. It’s not just about your wedding; it’s about the fact that every other hotel room in town will be booked by other tourists. Your guests need that lead time to secure a place to sleep that doesn't cost $900 a night.
How to Get Started Now
Don't wait for the perfect photo shoot. If you have your venue locked in, you have a date. That's all you need.
- Finalize the guest list. You can't send cards if you don't know how many you need or where they’re going.
- Collect addresses. This takes way longer than you think. Use a tool like Postable or just a shared Google Sheet.
- Choose your medium. Decide now if you're going paper or digital.
- Check the calendar. Look for major events in your wedding city on that date (marathons, festivals, etc.) that might make travel harder for guests.
- Order and ship. If you're using paper, account for two weeks of printing and one week of mailing.
Once those cards are in the mail, you can breathe. The date is set. The people are informed. Now you can get back to the "fun" stuff like arguing over whether or not to have a taco bar.