So, you’ve met someone special in Amsterdam, or maybe you’re just trying to impress a Dutch-speaking friend with some linguistic flair. You want to know how do you say love in dutch, right? Most people just head straight for Google Translate, get a robotic "ik hou van jou," and think they’re done.
Wrong.
The Dutch language is famously blunt, but when it comes to the heart, it’s surprisingly layered. You can’t just throw around "love" like you’re ordering a bitterbal at a brown cafe. If you say the wrong thing to a casual date, you might scare them off; if you say the wrong thing to your mom, it just sounds weird.
The Heavy Hitter: Ik Hou Van Jou
If we are talking about the "Big L" love—the kind that involves soulmates, decades of marriage, or your immediate family—then ik hou van jou is your go-to phrase.
It’s the direct equivalent of "I love you."
But here’s the thing. Dutch people are generally quite reserved. They don’t say this every five minutes. In American English, we love everything: we love this pizza, we love that movie, we love a stranger's shoes. In Dutch? If you say "ik hou van de pizza," people will look at you like you’re planning to marry the pepperoni.
The word houden literally means "to hold" or "to keep." So, when you say you hou from someone, you’re basically saying you’re holding onto them in your heart. It’s heavy. It’s serious. It’s usually reserved for your partner, your parents, or your kids. Honestly, if you’ve only been on three dates, saying "ik hou van jou" is a massive red flag in the Netherlands. It’s a fast track to being ghosted.
Why the grammar feels weird
You’ll notice that van in there. It’s not just "I love you" (Ik hou jou). It’s "I hold of you." It’s a prepositional construction. If you forget the van, the sentence falls apart.
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The "I Like You" Phase: Ik Vind Je Leuk
Most relationships in the Netherlands start with ik vind je leuk.
This is the "I like you" or "I find you cute/attractive" stage. It’s safe. It’s light. It covers everything from "you’re fun to grab a beer with" to "I’m definitely interested in seeing where this goes."
Dutch culture prizes nuchterheid—being down-to-earth. Jumping into deep declarations of love feels "over the top" for many locals. They prefer to start with leuk.
Interestingly, leuk is the hardest working word in the Dutch language. Everything is leuk. A party is leuk. A sweater is leuk. Your boyfriend is leuk. It sounds underwhelming to English speakers, but in the early stages of a Dutch romance, being leuk is exactly where you want to be.
Falling in Love vs. Being in Love
There is a distinct difference between the state of being in love and the act of falling into it.
If you are currently walking on air and can’t stop thinking about someone, you are verliefd.
- Ik ben verliefd op jou (I am in love with you).
- Verliefdheid (The state of being in love/infatuation).
This is specifically for that "butterflies in the stomach" feeling. You wouldn't use this for your grandmother. If you tell your grandma you are verliefd on her, things are going to get very uncomfortable, very fast.
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The "Gezellig" Factor in Dutch Romance
You can’t talk about Dutch emotions without mentioning gezellig. While it’s often translated as "cozy," it’s more of a social atmosphere.
When a Dutch person says, "Ik vind het gezellig met jou," they aren't saying they love you, but they are saying they feel a deep, comfortable, and warm connection with you. For many, this is actually a precursor to love. It’s that feeling of sitting by a fireplace with a glass of wine, or just feeling "at home" with someone.
Loving Things (That Aren't People)
Since you can’t really use houden van for objects without sounding like a crazy person, what do you use for your favorite hobbies or food?
You use dol zijn op.
- Ik ben dol op chocolade (I am crazy about chocolate).
- Ik ben dol op vissen (I love fishing).
It literally translates to being "mad" or "crazy" about something. It’s high energy and lacks the heavy commitment of houden van. If you really, really like a specific activity, you could also say you are "gek op" (crazy about) it.
Regional Quirks: How Do You Say Love in Dutch Elsewhere?
If you head south into Flanders (the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium), things change a bit. Flemish Dutch—often called Vlaams—can be a bit softer and sometimes uses different idioms.
In some parts of Flanders, you might hear ik zie u graag.
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Literally, this translates to "I see you gladly." To a Northern Dutchman, this might sound like you just enjoy looking at them. But in Belgium, this is a very common, very sincere way to say "I love you." It’s often considered a bit more tender and less "clinical" than the standard Dutch version.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Overusing the "L" Word: Don't say ik hou van jou to your barista. Just don't.
- Confusing "Lief" and "Liefde": Liefde is the noun (love). Lief is an adjective meaning sweet or cute. If you call someone "mijn lief" in Belgium, you're calling them your partner. In the Netherlands, calling someone "lief" just means they're being nice.
- The "Van" Omission: As mentioned, never forget the van. "Ik hou jou" sounds like you are physically picking someone up and refusing to put them down.
Actionable Ways to Use Dutch Terms of Endearment
If you're ready to move beyond basic phrases, try using these pet names. They vary in intensity and "cringe" factor, so use them wisely.
- Schat: The universal "treasure" or "darling." Everyone uses this. Parents to kids, husbands to wives, sometimes even friends. It’s the safest bet.
- Lieve: Usually followed by a name (e.g., Lieve Jan). It means "Dear."
- Moppie: A bit more "street" or casual. It’s like saying "babe" or "sweetie."
- Lekkerding: This is specifically for someone you find physically attractive. "Hot stuff." Use it in a bar, not at a funeral.
- Schatje: The diminutive of schat. It’s "little treasure." Very common for couples.
Moving Forward with Your Dutch
Learning how do you say love in dutch is really about understanding the cultural pace of the Netherlands. The Dutch value honesty and directness. They don't sugarcoat things, which means when they finally do say "Ik hou van jou," they actually mean it. It isn't a filler phrase.
If you want to master these nuances, start by observing how your Dutch friends talk about their passions. Notice the shift between leuk, dol op, and houden van.
To actually implement this in your life, try these steps:
- Test the waters with "Ik vind het gezellig met je" after a nice hangout.
- Use "Ik ben dol op..." for your favorite Dutch snacks like stroopwafels to get used to the grammar of the word "van."
- Reserve "Ik hou van jou" for those moments where you truly feel a deep, long-term connection.
- Listen for "Ik zie je graag" if you are traveling in Antwerp or Ghent; don't mistake it for a casual comment on your appearance.
By respecting the weight of these words, you’ll fit into the Dutch social fabric much more naturally than someone just reciting a phrasebook. Happy practicing.