It is one of the most searched, debated, and frankly, misunderstood topics in modern sexual health. You’ve seen it in movies. You’ve heard about it in hushed tones at brunch. But the question remains: how do you make yourself squirt without feeling like you're trying to solve a complex physics equation?
Let’s be real. It isn't just about "doing it right." For some people, it happens naturally during a high-intensity climax. For others, it feels like a mythical creature they've been hunting for years. The science behind female ejaculation—which is the technical term for what we’re discussing—is still being mapped out by researchers like those at the International Society for Sexual Medicine. We know it’s real. We know it’s okay. And we definitely know it’s not just "peeing," though the chemistry of the fluid is a fascinating, complex cocktail of PSA (prostate-specific antigen) and other elements.
The Anatomy of the Squirt
You can’t find the destination without a map. Most people focus solely on the clitoris, which is great, but squirting usually involves the Skene’s glands. These are often called the "female prostate." They sit near the urethra.
When you get aroused, these glands can fill with fluid. Think of it like a sponge soaking up water. To get that fluid out, you usually need a specific type of internal stimulation. This is where the G-spot comes in. It’s not really a "spot" as much as it is a sensitive zone on the front wall of the vagina—the side toward your belly button.
Texture Matters
If you reach inside with a finger and feel around that front wall, you’ll notice a patch that feels a bit like a walnut or a slightly ribbed surface. That’s your target. It feels different from the smooth walls surrounding it. When you stimulate this area, the Skene’s glands get squeezed.
Pressure is key here. Light tickling won’t usually cut it. You need a "come hither" motion. Hook your fingers and pull toward yourself. Keep it steady.
Getting Into the Right Headspace
Your brain is the biggest sex organ you own. Period. If you are stressed about whether or not it’s going to happen, it probably won't. Tension is the enemy of release.
I’ve talked to dozens of people who say the moment they stopped trying was the moment it finally happened. You have to be okay with the mess. You have to be okay with the feeling of needing to urinate.
That’s the big hurdle.
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The sensation of squirting often feels exactly like you’re about to pee. Because the fluid passes through the urethra, your brain sends a "danger" signal. "Hey, don't do that here!" it screams. You have to train yourself to lean into that feeling instead of pulling back. Push through it. Literally.
The Step-by-Step Mechanics
So, how do you make yourself squirt when you're actually in the moment?
Hydration is non-negotiable. You can't expel fluid if your body is running on empty. Drink a glass or two of water an hour before. Don't overdo it, or you actually will just pee, but stay hydrated.
Warm up first. Don't go straight for the G-spot. Get your whole body involved. Use clitoral stimulation to get your arousal levels to a 7 or 8 out of 10. When you're highly aroused, the Skene's glands engorge and fill with fluid.
Find the angle. Use two fingers, palms up. Reach in a few inches. Find that textured area on the front wall. Start with a firm, rhythmic "come hither" motion.
Add the clitoral element. Most people find that a combination of internal G-spot pressure and external clitoral vibration is the magic ticket. If you have a wand or a small vibrator, use it on the clitoris while your fingers (or a partner’s) work the inside.
The Push. When you feel that "I need to go to the bathroom" sensation peaking, don't clench your pelvic floor. Relax. Some people find that "bearing down"—the same muscle movement you use to move your bowels—helps expel the fluid.
Tools of the Trade
You don't need toys, but they sure help. A curved G-spot vibrator is designed specifically for this. It hits the angle that fingers sometimes struggle to maintain over a long period.
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Glass or metal toys are also great because they are firm. You want something that doesn't bend when you apply pressure. Soft silicone is nice, but for squirting, firmness usually wins.
Also, get a towel. A thick one. Or a waterproof "sex blanket." Knowing your sheets are safe allows your brain to stop worrying about the cleanup and start focusing on the sensation.
It's Not a Performance
Social media and adult cinema have turned squirting into a "must-have" achievement. It’s not.
According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, a significant percentage of women can ejaculate, but the volume and frequency vary wildly. Some people produce a few drops. Others produce quite a bit more. Neither is "better."
If you don't squirt, it doesn't mean you're broken. It doesn't even mean you aren't having a great orgasm. Some of the most intense orgasms are completely "dry."
The goal should always be pleasure, not a specific physical output. If you make it a chore, you’ll suck the fun right out of your bedroom.
Common Roadblocks
Why isn't it working?
Sometimes it’s a physical thing. The Skene’s glands vary in size from person to person. Some people simply have more developed glandular tissue in that area.
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Sometimes it's the "Pee Panic." This is the most common reason. You get close, you feel the urge, and your pelvic floor muscles snap shut like a trap. It takes practice to override that reflex.
Try practicing alone first. There’s less pressure when no one is watching. If you make a mess, who cares? It's just you.
The Science of the Fluid
Is it pee?
This is the million-dollar question. Research, including a 2014 study involving ultrasounds of the bladder, suggests that the fluid is a mix. It often contains urea and creatinine (found in urine) but also contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP) and PSA.
Essentially, the bladder fills slightly during arousal, and then the Skene's glands add their "secretions" to the mix. It’s a unique substance. It’s usually clear and odorless, or slightly sweet-smelling, unlike concentrated morning urine.
Actionable Next Steps for Success
If you’re serious about exploring this, stop overthinking. Start with these concrete actions:
- Empty your bladder about 20 minutes before you start. This ensures that if you do release fluid, it’s mostly the "good stuff" and not just a full bladder of urine.
- Invest in a firm, curved toy. Look for something specifically labeled as a G-spot stimulator.
- Practice pelvic floor relaxation. Use deep diaphragmatic breathing to "drop" your pelvic floor.
- Communicate. If you’re with a partner, tell them exactly what you need. "Harder," "faster," or "keep doing exactly that." Don't be shy.
- Vary your positions. Some people find it much easier to squirt when they are on top (cowgirl) because they have more control over the angle and depth of penetration. Others find that "doggy style" allows for the best G-spot access.
Ultimately, figuring out how do you make yourself squirt is a journey of self-discovery. It’s about learning how your specific body responds to pressure and tension. Take your time. Be patient. And remember, the journey is supposed to be the fun part.