How do I make myself squirt? The science and technique of female ejaculation explained

How do I make myself squirt? The science and technique of female ejaculation explained

Let's be real for a second. If you’ve spent any time on the spicy side of the internet, you’ve seen it. It’s usually presented as this massive, cinematic fountain of fluid—the "gold standard" of a good time. But for most people sitting at home wondering how do I make myself squirt, the reality is often a mix of curiosity, a little bit of frustration, and a whole lot of misinformation.

It's not just a "porn thing." It's a physiological response that has been documented for centuries, even if science took an embarrassingly long time to catch up.

There is a lot of shame wrapped up in this topic. Some people feel broken because they can’t do it; others feel embarrassed because they do and they’ve been told it’s just "peeing." (Spoiler: it’s more complicated than that). If you want to figure this out, you have to stop thinking about it as a goal to "achieve" and start looking at it as a specific way your body reacts to certain types of tension and release.

The biology of the "G-Spot" and Skene’s Glands

To understand the mechanics, we have to look at the anatomy that actually produces the fluid. We’re talking about the Skene’s glands. These are often called the "female prostate" because, honestly, they are homologous to the male prostate gland. They sit right near the urethra.

When you get aroused, these glands fill with fluid.

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Dr. Beverly Whipple, who basically put the G-spot on the map in the 1980s, noted that the area on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina is linked to this response. It’s about two to three inches inside. It feels different—sorta textured, like a walnut or a little ridge. When you stimulate this area, you aren't just rubbing a nerve ending; you are putting pressure on the internal structures of the clitoris and the Skene’s glands simultaneously.

Research published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine has analyzed the fluid itself. It’s not just urine. While it can contain trace amounts of urea or creatinine (especially if your bladder was full), it also contains prostatic specific antigen (PSA) and glucose. Basically, your body is producing a specific secretion meant for this exact moment.


Setting the stage: Relaxation is non-negotiable

You cannot force this. Seriously. If you’re tensed up, overthinking it, or staring at the clock, your pelvic floor muscles are going to be too tight to allow anything to happen.

Hydration matters more than you think. Since the fluid has to come from somewhere, being dehydrated is a one-way ticket to a dry run. Drink a glass or two of water an hour before you plan on exploring.

Empty your bladder, but not too much. This is the great paradox. You want to go to the bathroom so you don't feel like you’re actually just going to pee, but you need some volume in the area to provide pressure. Most experts suggest a "half-full" approach.

The mindset shift

If you’re asking how do I make myself squirt because you want to check a box or impress a partner, you might be setting yourself up for a struggle. The "pressure to perform" is the ultimate buzzkill. You have to be okay with the idea that it might not happen the first time, or the tenth. It’s about the journey, not the destination.


Specific techniques that actually work

Okay, let’s get into the "how-to." It usually starts with the "come hither" motion. If you’re using your fingers, you want to use one or two, palm facing up, reaching toward your belly button.

  1. Ramping up the pressure. Start slow. You want to find that textured area on the front wall. Once you find it, you don't just tap it. You apply firm, rhythmic pressure.

  2. The "Push Back" sensation. This is where most people stop. When you get close to ejaculation, you will almost certainly feel like you need to urinate. It’s a powerful, sometimes overwhelming urge. Most people instinctively tighten their pelvic floor (Kegel) to hold it in. Don't do that. You have to do the opposite. You have to "push out" as if you are trying to pee.

  3. Vibration can be a cheat code. Sometimes fingers aren't enough to provide the consistent, high-frequency stimulation the Skene’s glands need. A wand-style vibrator or a dedicated G-spot toy can provide the "thuddy" vibration that reaches deeper tissues.

  4. The role of the clitoris. Don't ignore the external clitoris. For many, the "squirt" happens when G-spot stimulation is combined with steady clitoral stimulation. It creates a sort of "summation" of the nervous system where the body just lets go.


Why some people find it easier than others

We have to talk about anatomical variation. Just like some people have hitchhiker’s thumbs and others don’t, Skene’s glands vary in size and capacity. Some people might have very active glands that produce a lot of fluid with minimal effort. Others might have smaller glands that produce just a few drops—often called "coital incontinence" or "female ejaculation" (there's actually a technical debate about whether "squirting" and "female ejaculation" are different things based on the volume and chemical makeup).

A study led by French researcher Samuel Salama used ultrasounds to watch the process in real-time. They found that the bladder fills up before the act and empties during. This suggests that the fluid is a mix of stuff from the Skene's glands and highly diluted fluid from the bladder.

If it doesn't happen for you, it doesn't mean you're "dead down there." It might just mean your anatomy handles arousal differently.


Common hurdles and how to clear them

"I feel like I'm going to pee and I'm scared of the mess." This is the #1 barrier. Buy a waterproof "sex blanket" or just lay down a couple of thick towels. If you remove the fear of ruining your mattress, your brain can finally stop monitoring your bladder and start focusing on the sensation.

"It hurts when I press that hard." Use more lube. Then use more. Then use some more. Friction is the enemy here. Also, make sure your nails are short and smooth.

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"I'm getting frustrated." Take a break. Seriously. If you’re ten minutes in and just feeling annoyed, stop. Try again another day. Over-stimulating the area can lead to soreness or even a UTI if you aren't careful about hygiene.

Actionable steps for your next session

If you are ready to try this tonight, here is the sequence that tends to yield the best results for most people.

  • Hydrate well throughout the day so your system has plenty of fluid to work with.
  • Set the environment with towels or a waterproof cover so you can be "messy" without anxiety.
  • Spend at least 15-20 minutes on general arousal. Jumping straight to G-spot work rarely works because the tissues aren't engorged enough yet.
  • Use the "come hither" motion with firm pressure, or use a curved vibrator.
  • When the "urge to pee" hits, take a deep breath and push out through your pelvic floor instead of clenching.
  • Combine internal and external stimulation to push your nervous system over the edge.

Ultimately, your body is a unique instrument. There is no "wrong" way to experience pleasure, and whether or not you produce a fountain of fluid has zero bearing on your worth as a lover or the quality of your orgasms. Explore because it feels good, not because you’re trying to mimic a video you saw online.