New York City is loud, fast, and occasionally, incredibly dangerous for the people living in it. If you’re feeling unsafe, the legal jargon of the Unified Court System feels like a brick wall. It's frustrating. You need safety, but instead, you get paperwork. Understanding how do I get an order of protection in NYC isn't just about knowing which building to walk into; it’s about navigating a bifurcated system that handles domestic disputes and "stranger danger" very differently.
Safety first.
If you are in immediate, "right-this-second" danger, call 911. The police can issue what’s called an DIR (Domestic Incident Report) and, in many cases, help you get an Emergency Order of Protection from a criminal court judge if an arrest is made. But what if there’s no arrest? What if you’re just trying to get away from a situation that is slowly spiraling? That’s where the civil process starts, and honestly, it’s a lot to handle alone.
The Two Paths: Family Court vs. Criminal Court
Most people don't realize that New York has two distinct tracks for these orders. It’s confusing.
If the person you are afraid of is a family member, a spouse, an ex-spouse, or someone you have a child with—or even someone you’ve been in an "intimate relationship" with—you go to Family Court. The legal term for this is a "family offense petition."
What qualifies as an intimate relationship? It’s not just marriage. The court looks at how often you saw each other and how long the relationship lasted. A one-night stand might not count, but a boyfriend of six months definitely does.
When Criminal Court Takes the Lead
Now, if the person is a stranger, a neighbor, or just a random person harassing you, Family Court isn’t the place. You have to go through Criminal Court. This usually requires a police report. You can’t just walk into Criminal Court and ask for an order of protection against a stalker you’ve never met; the District Attorney’s office usually handles these as part of a criminal prosecution.
It's a high bar. You need evidence of a crime—harassment, stalking, or assault.
Walking Through the Family Court Process
So, you’ve decided to go to Family Court. You’ll likely end up at a place like 151 Lafayette Street in Manhattan or 330 Jay Street in Brooklyn. These buildings are busy. They are stressful.
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- You start by filing a Petition. This is a sworn statement. You are the "Petitioner," and the person you’re afraid of is the "Respondent."
- You have to describe "Family Offenses." This includes things like Harassment in the Second Degree, Menacing, or Reckless Endangerment.
- Don't be vague.
Instead of writing "he was mean to me," you need to write "On Tuesday, January 13, at 4:00 PM, he pushed me against the kitchen wall and threatened to burn the house down." Details matter. Dates matter. The judge needs a factual basis to act.
The Ex Parte Hearing
Once the paperwork is filed, you’ll see a judge that same day. This is an ex parte hearing. That’s just a fancy way of saying the other person isn't there. The judge will read your petition and ask you a few questions. If they feel there’s an "immediate and present danger," they will issue a Temporary Order of Protection (TOP).
This TOP isn't permanent. It usually lasts until your next court date.
Serving the Papers: The Most Dangerous Part
An order of protection is just a piece of paper until it is "served." The Respondent has to be physically handed the papers so they have "notice."
Do not serve the papers yourself. That’s a recipe for disaster. In NYC, you can have the New York City Marshal or the Police (the NYPD) serve the papers. Sometimes, you can hire a private process server if you have the money, but the police will do it for free in domestic violence cases. Once they are served, the order is active. If the person comes near you after being served, they can be arrested immediately.
What Does the Order Actually Do?
There are two main "flavors" of these orders in New York.
- Stay-Away Order (Full): The person must stay away from you, your home, your job, and your kids' school. They cannot call you, text you, or even send a DM on Instagram. No "checking in." Total radio silence.
- Refrain-From Order (Limited): This is different. It allows the person to stay in the home or see you, but they must "refrain from" committing any illegal acts against you. No hitting, no stalking, no threats. These are common in situations where people are trying to reconcile or share a small apartment but need a legal "leash" on the behavior.
NYC judges have a lot of discretion. They can add "carve-outs." Maybe the person can’t come to your house, but they can pick up the kids at a specific police precinct at 5:00 PM on Fridays.
Navigating the "Intimate Relationship" Loophole
For a long time, if you weren't married or didn't have a kid together, Family Court would kick you out. That changed. But it's still a grey area. If you’re asking how do I get an order of protection in NYC against someone you were "talking to" for three weeks, a clerk might tell you that you don't qualify for Family Court.
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In those cases, you’re stuck with the Criminal Court route. This means going to your local precinct. It means filing a report. It means waiting for the NYPD to find the person and arrest them. It’s slower. It’s harder. But for many, it’s the only way to get a "Stay Away" order against a non-family member.
The Reality of "Virtual" Family Court
Since the pandemic, NYC has moved a lot of this online. You can actually file a petition through the NYSCEF system or via the Family Court Document Delivery System (FCDDS).
Is it easier? Sorta.
You still have to appear—usually via a Teams link—to talk to the judge. If you don't have a computer or a quiet place to talk, organizations like Safe Horizon or Sanctuary for Families have resources. They are lifesavers. They have advocates who sit with you and help you fill out the forms so you don't miss a legal checkbox that gets your case dismissed.
Evidence: What Should You Bring?
Don't just bring your word. NYC judges see hundreds of these cases a week. They are overworked.
If you have screenshots of threatening texts, print them out. If you have photos of bruises or a broken door frame, bring them. If there were witnesses, get their contact info. However, at the very first hearing (the one for the temporary order), you usually don't need a mountain of evidence. Your sworn testimony is enough to start. The real evidence "trial" happens later if the Respondent challenges the order.
A Common Misconception
People think an order of protection is a "shield." It’s not. It’s a tool for the police. If the person breaks the order, the police have a "mandatory arrest" obligation in NYC. But the paper won't stop a bullet or a fist in the heat of the moment. Always have a safety plan. Know where you’re going if things go south.
What Happens if the Order is Violated?
This is where the "teeth" of the law come in. If someone with an active NYC order of protection calls you, and the order says "no contact," that is a crime. It's called Criminal Contempt.
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In New York, Criminal Contempt in the Second Degree is a Class A misdemeanor. If they get physical or do it repeatedly, it bumps up to a felony. You don't have to wait for them to hurt you to call the cops. If they show up at your job—even if they just stand across the street staring—call 911. Show the officer the order on your phone or the hard copy.
Keep a copy of your order everywhere. Put one in your bag. One in your glove box. One at your kid’s school. Leave a digital copy in your "favorites" in your photo gallery.
The Long Game: Final Orders
The temporary order only lasts a few weeks or months. To get a "Final Order of Protection," you usually have to go through a few more court dates.
The Respondent has a right to a hearing. They can tell their side. Sometimes, cases are settled with a "Consent Order." This is when the person agrees to stay away without admitting they did anything wrong. It sounds like a cop-out, but it gets you the same protection without a three-day trial.
A final order in Family Court usually lasts for two years. In special circumstances ("aggravating circumstances"), it can last for five years.
Actionable Next Steps for Your Safety
If you're ready to start this process right now, don't wait for "business hours" if you feel a situation escalating.
- Locate your nearest Family Court: If it’s between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM, go directly to the "Petition Room." In Manhattan, that's at 60 Lafayette St. (Note: different from the criminal court nearby).
- Contact Safe Horizon: Call their 24-hour hotline at 1-800-621-HOPE. They can guide you through the specific paperwork for your borough.
- Document everything: Start a log. Date, time, what happened, and any witnesses. This becomes the backbone of your petition.
- Check your tech: If you’re worried about a partner tracking you, use a library computer or a friend’s phone to research these steps.
- File for an Address Confidentiality Program (ACP): When you file for an order, ask about the ACP. It allows you to use a substitute mailing address so the person you’re afraid of can't find out where you're living through court papers.
The system is heavy and slow, but it is there for a reason. Taking that first step of walking into the courthouse is often the hardest part of the entire journey.