Relationships end. It happens to everyone, from the person next door to the face you see on your TV every morning. But when Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman called it quits in early 2022, people didn’t just mourn the couple—they started watching. Everyone wanted to know how they’d handle the big milestones. You know the ones. Birthdays, Christmas, and especially Father’s Day.
Honestly, the Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman Father's Day tradition has become a bit of a masterclass in how to stay a family after the romance fizzles out.
Most celebrity breakups are messy. They involve lawyers, cryptic Instagram quotes, and "sources" whispering to tabloids. Not this one. Instead, we see Hoda posting photos of Joel grinning with their daughters, Haley and Hope. No drama. No shade. Just a guy being a dad and a woman making sure he knows he’s appreciated.
The Reality of Their Post-Breakup Connection
It has been a few years since Hoda announced the split on Today. Since then, she’s moved to the suburbs to give the girls a "normal" life and eventually stepped away from her high-profile anchor chair. But through all that transition, Joel hasn't been phased out.
They don't do the strict "it's my weekend" or "it's your hour" thing. Hoda has been pretty vocal about the fact that they share time. If there’s a barbecue at her new place in Westchester, Joel is there. If it's Father's Day, he's the guest of honor.
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"We decided that we’re better as friends and parents than we are as an engaged couple," Hoda shared during that emotional 2022 broadcast.
She wasn't lying. For Father's Day 2025, she shared a photo of Joel with the girls, calling him a "great dad." It sounds simple, right? But in the world of high-stakes co-parenting, that kind of public support is massive. It tells the kids they don't have to choose sides.
Why the Suburbs Changed Everything
Moving out of Manhattan was a big deal for Hoda. She wanted grass under the girls' feet. She wanted them to ride bikes down the street without the constant buzz of the city.
Interestingly, Joel stayed in the city. You might think that distance would make Father's Day or weekend visits harder. It hasn't. He makes the trek upstate (or "out to the burbs") regularly. On Father's Day, he's often seen at Hoda’s home, sometimes in the kitchen or out at a local mall with the girls.
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They’ve created a "soft landing" for their kids.
Lessons We Can Actually Use
Watching Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman navigate Father's Day isn't just about celebrity gossip. It’s about the mechanics of a "good" breakup. Here is what they basically get right:
- Public Affirmation: Hoda doesn't just "tolerate" Joel's presence. She publicly validates his role. By posting "Happy Father's Day to a great dad," she sets the tone for how the rest of the family—and the public—should treat him.
- The "Season" Mindset: Hoda often says their relationship was meant for a "season," not a lifetime. Viewing a partner as a successful part of your past rather than a "failure" makes those holiday reunions way less awkward.
- Total Transparency: They’ve been open about the challenges, including daughter Hope’s health journey. Facing those kinds of hurdles requires a united front, even if you aren't sleeping in the same house.
The "Are They Back Together?" Rumors
Every time a photo drops, the comments section goes wild. "Please get back together!" "They look so happy!"
We get it. We love a comeback story. But Hoda has been clear: she’s looking for a "soul connection" and is moving forward. Loving someone "to this day" (which she admitted she still does regarding Joel) doesn't always mean you want to be married to them. It means you’ve reached a level of maturity where you can value the human being without needing the title of "husband" or "fiancé."
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How to Handle Your Own "Ex" Milestones
If you’re looking at the Hoda Kotb and Joel Schiffman Father's Day dynamic and wondering how to get there yourself, it starts with the small stuff. It's not about the big Instagram post. It’s about the text message on a Tuesday.
- Focus on the kids' view: Your children don't care about the reasons you broke up. They care that Dad is there for the cake.
- Drop the "Time Blocks": If you can get to a place where "our time" replaces "my time," the scheduling stress disappears.
- Acknowledge the Good: Joel helped Hoda become a mother. She wouldn't have Haley and Hope without him. Remembering that "debt of gratitude" makes it a lot easier to be kind when Father's Day rolls around.
The way these two handle the holidays is proof that "family" is a verb, not just a noun. It’s something you do, day after day, choice after choice.
To mirror the Hoda and Joel approach in your own life, try starting with a simple, no-strings-attached acknowledgment of the other parent's contribution this year. Keep the focus strictly on the kids' joy, and let the past stay in the past.